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I saw an interesting discussion on the difference between "being nice" and "being kind" - and how many people use these words interchangeably, seemingly oblivious to their meaning.
Yet, to say someone is "nice" feels like patting a dog on the head for retrieving a ball, whilst to say someone is "kind" feels like you respect them for their values.
The classic example is that hearing "Aaa, you're so nice!" is like a death sentence to any man fawning over a woman.
I would define "being nice" as "doing a good deed to try and please someone or affect their behaviour".
Whereas, I would define "being kind" as "doing a good deed because it pleases yourself and you're not expecting an outcome".
So, both are about doing good deeds - but the difference is why they are doing the good deed.
And of course, both niceness and kindness can be plotted on the Modern Energy Chart.
I believe that a person being nice is on the negative side of the Modern Energy Chart, whereas a person being kind is on the positive side of the Modern Energy Chart.
A person being nice is looking to suck social energy out of someone else in return for their good deed. The transaction is clear - "I will do something nice and you give me attention". Unfortunately, nice people tend to come and go like the wind, constantly changing direction, looking for people to please. Maybe it's you today, maybe it's someone else tomorrow.
A person being kind is adding social energy by their good deeds. By not expecting an outcome they are being authentic and genuine to their true selves. These are the people you want to hang around with.
Thoughts?
Yet, to say someone is "nice" feels like patting a dog on the head for retrieving a ball, whilst to say someone is "kind" feels like you respect them for their values.
The classic example is that hearing "Aaa, you're so nice!" is like a death sentence to any man fawning over a woman.
I would define "being nice" as "doing a good deed to try and please someone or affect their behaviour".
Whereas, I would define "being kind" as "doing a good deed because it pleases yourself and you're not expecting an outcome".
So, both are about doing good deeds - but the difference is why they are doing the good deed.
And of course, both niceness and kindness can be plotted on the Modern Energy Chart.
I believe that a person being nice is on the negative side of the Modern Energy Chart, whereas a person being kind is on the positive side of the Modern Energy Chart.
A person being nice is looking to suck social energy out of someone else in return for their good deed. The transaction is clear - "I will do something nice and you give me attention". Unfortunately, nice people tend to come and go like the wind, constantly changing direction, looking for people to please. Maybe it's you today, maybe it's someone else tomorrow.
A person being kind is adding social energy by their good deeds. By not expecting an outcome they are being authentic and genuine to their true selves. These are the people you want to hang around with.
Thoughts?
Nov 4, 2023
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Guild of Energists Ltd
Qualified 28th February 2001
Member #239
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