PSIII 16 Problem Solving

PSIII 16 Problem Solving

PSIII 16 Problem Solving

16 - Problem Solving

I think it was Einstein who said, "you cannot solve a problem from the same space where it was created".

Makes a lot of sense to me, and this is one of the many reasons why I like metaphor therapy so very much.

I wonder if you remember Joshua, the young man who could not deal with his anger towards his father, and represented the father as a scrap yard instead. The resolution - keep the best resources and heal the rest - was easy and only presented itself in that other space, because in the real life relationship Joshua and his father were like two people wrestling in a muddy swamp. That's all they could do in that place where their problems had been created.

Any kind of problem can be addressed thus - all it takes is to allow for a representation of the problem. "My fear of failure is (like standing alone on a battlefield, facing a massive army of foes about to attack me) - (like trying to walk on a frozen pond but the ice is about to crack and I can't move) - (like drowning in a dark sea) - (like a broken vase) etc, etc, etc.

You then take the representation into the sanctuary, forget what it was supposed to be about in the first place, and deal with it "as is", finding solutions that satisfy you completely and that make sense in the context of the story. This is dead easy, good fun, and if nothing else, will certainly take your mind off the problem for a while! No, jokes apart, using such representations in good faith and trust will allow you to find solutions that you wouldn't have come up with in a month of Sundays, if you'd just applied your usual thought patterns to the problem.

One lady who expressed a fear of close intimate relationships said it was like, “Being scared of being washed away, swamped somehow, so I can’t breathe anymore and I must die.” I asked her to consider allowing herself to make a mental movie of what she thought was going to happen, and she described standing on a sea shore, looking out at the blue tranquil ocean and being quite happy.

Then, however, she would notice the horizon lifting and coming towards her, like a giant flood wave, ready to swallow her up and smash her to pieces. I suggested she pause the movie at that point and consider something other than just running away in a panic. She thought about it for quite a while, and then said, “If I was more than a tiny little person, I could merge with that wave somehow. Then it’s power would be mine as well and I would not have to be afraid of it anymore – in fact, that would be quite an amazing experience.” We both smiled at each other then, and she allowed her body to dissolve in the wave, whilst her mind and spirit remained intact, alert and sentient, and I admit I was a little jealous of the intensity of that experience for her.

More often than not, however, it isn't so easy to determine that, for example "fear of failure" is the key issue in the first place.

Half the time we do things and we don't know what causes us to think, feel and act the way we do - or we delude ourselves that we do when in fact we're a million miles off the mark.

One elegant way to find solutions to such underlying, yet totally unconscious, key problems is to look at your ...


 

16/1 - Interests, Fascinations and Obsessions

The only difference between an interest, a fascination and an obsession is the severity of the manifestation - these three are just random names for a range of points on a sliding scale, yet again. Half the time if there's a problem, whether you're aware of it or not, you will probably find that it is reflected very well in your interests and obsessions.

A friend of mine went virtually mad over Disney's version of Beauty & The Beast. She loved the movie intensely, bought the video, watched it repeatedly and went around humming the theme tune when she wasn't watching herself.

It was blatantly obvious to everyone but herself that the reason she was so obsessed with the movie was her own internal wrestling’s about a relationship she had recently entered into, and whatever the metaphorical goings on in the movie, they were striking a deeply resonant chord within her own mind. This went on for six months; then the relationship dissolved and so did her interest in the movie.

A teenager I was working with recently had a similar - if more long standing - obsession; namely, with vampire movies, vampire TV series and vampire novels.

This time, however, I showed him how to create a complete sanctuary, and, when it was ready, to be able to play out some of the central themes that had particularly fascinated him about some of these film's he'd seen. The ins and outs of what went on are enough to write an entire book in its own right; the subjects and ideas he addressed were incredibly profound, deep and serious for someone so young and seemingly uneducated.

When it was all over, a deep change had taken place that was immediately observable both within and without; the most obvious one was that once the vampires had been laid to rest, he changed his hair colour, redecorated his room and changed his wardrobe from black only to a more fashionable and laid back selection; and when his mother painfully enthused, "We've got our little darling baby boy back", he responded not by throwing furniture at her as he had previously done, but by raising an eyebrow, shaking his head and smiling tiredly instead.

Frankly, without the help of his obsession to guide us in the correct direction, I don't think we would have ever figured out the depth and power of what was troubling him, nor how to resolve it so successfully.

The point of these stories is to take any kind of interest, fascination or obsession, be it your own or someone else's, very seriously indeed. Whether it's stamp collecting, S&M, football or archaeology - here are the signposts to what aches to be addressed and resolved. The stronger the obsession, the stronger the warning - sort it out, now, if you would rather be free.

"Now why would I want to be free of my interest in collecting ceramic frogs?", you might ask. "It's harmless enough and has given me much pleasure over the years; ok so I've got 786 of them now and it takes a week to dust them all, and my husband and children have stopped bringing their friends round, but it's not a problem, is it?"

Well, nothing is ever a problem unless you decide that it is. I personally have for a long while considered various ideas from Zen Buddhism, one of these revolving around "unhealthy attachments" which are said to seriously impede your spiritual path. If I meet a Zen master, I'll ask him if a collection of 786 ceramic frogs falls into that category ...


 

16/2 - Recurring Resonant Themes

Works of fiction in general, but movies in particular, are a superb tool for exploring underlying conflicts that hold you back.

The kinds of movies you like, and within that category, the kinds of scenarios that "strike the deep, resonant chord" with you, are ready made set ups to resolve problems of all kinds - the situations are there, the circumstances, locations and the characters, all ready and standing by for you to find out what's going on, and then to resolve it successfully.

I was loosely working with an acquaintance called Thom in a practise group who was aware of this idea. One evening, he called me up to tell me that "it" had happened to him during the movie Braveheart.

The main character in the movie, the leader of an army of freedom fighters, had just lost a battle and had been captured. As he is led away, he encounters a knight. When this knight removes his helmet, he realises that he has been betrayed by a trusted friend.

At this point, Thom described "feeling so horrified I had painful tears in my eyes instantly. I was nearly physically sick, breathless and it was as though this had happened to me in some way - losing the battle for the kingdom was nothing in comparison to the pain of betrayal."

Following this striking of the deep, resonant chord, Thom chose to investigate the matter and found an unresolved past life where he had also been betrayed. The whole thing and it's eventual successful resolution let to complete turnaround in the way he viewed not only friendships but relationships in general, a virtual spring cleaning of his personal life, and tremendously wide ranging changes in other areas.

Thom said, "The strange thing is that I wasn't even aware that there was a problem on any level. Sure, I had a hard time trusting people, but I never questioned it, it never occurred to me to do so, and on a conscious level I would never have considered investigating that area or even beginning to suspect that there may be a problem there. It sometimes frightens me to think how long I would have gone along like that - perhaps to my dying day? - if I hadn't seen that particular movie and realised the connection. I'd like to give Mel Gibson yet another Oscar, and to the "resonance theory", my sincere gratitude."


 

16/3 - Practical Problems

If you want to stop smoking, lose weight or give up a cocaine addiction, sanctuary work might not be your first option. In many ways, that's not really what it's about, anyway.

You see, I'm looking for an evolutionary system that will heal underlying issues of all sorts, so that eventually, self destructive behaviours like the ones mentioned above become redundant so they will either drop away all by themselves, or the person in question wakes up one morning with this "Right, that's it, I don't need this anymore" attitude that will make any therapy, no matter what, a fine candidate to help resolve the problem once and for all.

The changes made in the sanctuary at the metaphorical level are gentle, holistic, complex and involved; for this reason, urgent practical problems such as phobias and addictions that make your life a misery might well benefit from other and faster first aid techniques such as Hypnosis or NLP for "on the spot" relief, or any of the other problem orientated therapies such as TimeLine Therapy or Past Life Regression, for example. A superb energy technique for such purposes is EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) which I cannot recommend highly enough, and then of course there is the sheer power of transformation with EmoTrance.

If you choose to engage in such resolution approaches, and I would encourage you to do so if you have an overriding practical concern that haunts all your daylight hours, you will find that the Sanctuary you have built with all its resources is a superb back up system to the therapy, and also a superb long term check back system that truly supports all your other efforts in the personal development department.

If you choose to engage in such resolution approaches, and I would encourage you to do so if you have an overriding practical concern that haunts all your daylight hours, you will find that the sanctuary you have built with all its resources is a superb back up system to the therapy, and also a superb long term check back system that truly supports all your other efforts in the personal development department.

This is not to say, however, that direct practical issues such as impotence and co-dependency cannot be addressed in metaphorical form to full conclusion and to very satisfactory outcomes; indeed I have used sanctuary therapy with the kinds of clients who "have tried everything" and failed to get the desired gains, to great effect.

One particular client who had failed to stop smoking his average of 40 cigarettes a day for the last 30 years after every conceivable treatment under the sun - and these included electro shock aversion therapy! - imagined himself standing on the edge of a cliff, mesmerised in an updraft from the sea which both energised and incarcerated him. A guide helped him to break free and fly away. Following this, he actually smoked more for a time because he had completely stopped worrying about giving up altogether, until one day he became aware that his consumption had dropped without him even noticing. He's now down to about 5 a day and doesn't even give it a second thought anymore, when before the stop smoking issue had been a quest of his life and a source of never ending internal conflict, harassment and misery. One day this guy will wake up and realise that he's forgotten to buy cigarettes for the last 6 weeks and never even noticed!


 

I'm not suggesting that this is exactly what will happen to you if you choose to go ahead and manifest your bugging practical problems in a metaphorical form; but this is certainly an example of how I like to resolve such things - elegantly, easily, stress free, naturally, ecologically, holistically, and once and for all.

After all, always remember that I wouldn't be in this business if I thought you had to stop eating chocolate in order to loose weight!


 

16/4 - Problems With People

No matter how enlightened you are, I reckon there's not a person alive who doesn't on occasion experience problems with people. I'm a member of an Internet NLP group where someone recently stated unequivocally that they never get annoyed with anyone.

Sorry, I don't believe it. Even Jesus was said to have lost his temper on quite a few occasions; and I personally think that it's just human to respond in a less than entirely enlightened way once in a while.

We're not supposed to be angels yet. There's more than enough time for that when we're dead. Whilst we're still here I think we're supposed to learn how to live successfully as a human - and that includes firstly allowing oneself to experience emotion, and then to deal with them in a civilised manner.

Unfortunately, I was never really taught as a child how to deal with emotions - I was just told to keep them inside, and, whatever I do, never to express them. I misunderstood and took it to mean that I wasn't supposed to have them at all - and so I went ahead and tried very hard for many years to be as emotionless as a robot, thinking that that was the idea and the grand aim towards which to work.

When it didn't work, and I'd burst out into tears, throw objects around, scream with rage or threw a temper tantrum, I'd take myself to task and berate myself and generally beat up on myself and vowed to do better in future; when it did work, it led to a glass screen or ivory tower detachment from the world around and a feeling of disconnectedness, and of loneliness. Either way, I could never seem to win.

In the last few years, I tried a different way of dealing with emotions. The first thing was to even recognise it was happening - a simple task, but I'd trained myself well. It took quite some time until I had dismantled the various barriers within to even allowing myself to spot disappointment, anger, fear etc. when it first appeared; then even longer until I allowed myself the right to feel that way, and finally took the dramatic step of just letting it happen.

What happened was that the emotion would come, wash over me, and be gone - just like that. An internal sensation that passed within a split second. I could not believe it could be that easy.

So why am I telling you that?

Well, firstly, to make you understand that it's ok to be angry at people, to get annoyed, to be jealous, or even to experience moments of murderous rage, because it's my belief that if you block off your negative emotions, you'll end up blocking the good ones as well. Love, compassion, joy, ecstasy, and so on run along the same channels in my opinion.

Further, I don't believe that you can "exhaust" emotions.

Some psychotherapy approaches hold that if you've got "repressed anger" (like a compressed bail of hay, I suppose), you can get rid of it by being very, very angry for lots and lots of times and then it'll go away.

I have the theory that emotions are not kept in buckets that you can just empty out, but that in fact there exists something akin of an emotion generator or even an emotion muscle if you will - the more you practise, the better you get at it; the more you practise being angry, as in the example before, the easier it becomes to get deeply angry very quickly and stay that way for longer.

There are a lot of dead rock stars out there for that reason. They experience a peak moment of angst or depression, then bottle that emotion in a song - which they then go and perform seven nights a week for the next ten years, thus re-entering that peak state of depression and re-accessing all the pain involved, over and over again. Little wonder that their lives are less than happy and that they turn to drugs and suicides of all kinds! On the other hand, the "sunny side of the street" crowd amongst the popsters seem to go on and on, and on, ... and on, remaining youthful and chirpy way after their sell by date has long since faded into oblivion.

The point is that to experience emotions is to be alive. That to repress or deny emotions just makes them fight harder and find other ways of drawing your attention to their existence. That repeatedly re-accessing peak states of negative emotion can be damaging to your health. And finally, that you have a right as a human being to experience the whole, amazing range of emotions - but you don't necessarily have to act them out.

That's also your right of choice as a human being.

A teenage girl called Stella had been sent to me because of her "rages". Listening to her and her life, I agreed that I would probably rage as well if I'd been treated as she was - with a lack of understanding, sympathy, rapport and intelligence that left me at a loss for words at the time, by her loving parents who were ever so happy to pay the bill so I would "fix" her.

"I don't want to loose it all the time," she told me with tears. "I'd give anything if I could just be a nice person, and be good, and fit in, anything. I hate being like this. And no-one gives me any credit because they don't know how hard I try."

It took me a while to explain to her that it wasn't fair she should hate herself for responding having being repeatedly provoked without ever having being taught how to respond differently. It finally sank in when I pointed out that if I was in a relationship with someone, and did or said something that caused him to freak out completely, I'd have the sense to understand that I could have probably approached the subject in a different way, and that I'd also have the sense to not then go ahead and do the very same thing again, day in, day out, day in, day out.

She then said, "But what about the guy? Has he no responsibility at all?"

"No." I said with a little grin. "He's just like a TV - you push the button, and boom! Light, Sound, Music!"

Stella laughed as well at that point, and wondered what the imaginary man might be able to do to be a little less predictable.

One of the strategies she had used before to try and stop herself from going berserk with her parents was to run from the room when it got towards the outer edges of her tenuous control. Unfortunately, her parents didn't approve of this kind of behaviour and would follow her into her room, to continue the exact same conversation where it had been disrupted by Stella's flight, and with highly predictable results.

Over the next couple of weeks, I let her in on a few tricks of my trade - like pattern interrupts, how to use the meta model to drive anyone absolutely insane in a conversation, a few mind warping hypnotic language patterns and some other effective little bits and pieces, and then introduced her to sanctuary work.

Her parents looked a little pale and fraught when they brought her back for her next session, but Stella was much improved in attitude and demeanour.

"That meta model thing," she said as soon as they'd left. "What a weapon! That should have a government health warning on it!" Apparently, it was the parents who were now running from the room instead.

Stella had regained some self confidence and personal power, and the preceding two days, neither her mother or her father had had the nerve to start on a major diatribe in that household at all.

The playing field now being a little more level, and the imminent danger of Stella being put on psychoactive drugs having been thus been removed, we could go ahead to now resolve the problem in a cohesive and ecological manner.

Stella informed me that she'd set up a screaming room in her sanctuary dwelling - "as it was less strenuous that doing it for real". As soon as she felt threatened, she'd go there and say what she really wanted to say in the most ferocious terms, and that "sort of made it go away", as she put it. At school too, she'd use this kind of "time out" to remove herself from imminent danger of losing control, and she found that thinking about her sanctuary was a great diversion during the more boring lessons. It had developed and grown nicely, and her favourite resource was a guide in the form of a large, black dog; he did not only advise her, but served as a protector, too.

You might think that this is an unusual approach, and you might be right. I personally have a leaning towards the idea that the most outrageously behaved youngsters have probably the most potential; that any kind of seriously anti-social behaviour is rooted in a belief that one has no personal power and no worth; and that these issues, if even only begun to be tackled in such a way that the person in question begins to feel more in control of their lives, positive changes can't help but happen.

After just 4 months, Stella was a different person. The last three of these four months, we basically just had coffee together, discussed sanctuary resources, how to resolve conflicts and whether Liam Gallagher was sexually attractive or not. All the gains she made in being less out of control when challenged, being less fearful in her dealings with others at school, finding it much easier to speak up for herself rather than letting it brew and then exploding over the littlest things, and greater tolerance for her parents, were essentially of her own making, her own design, and her own direction. Further, the basic skills and tools she acquired, and the resources she found within herself, will remain with her, wherever she goes from now on. Her parents consider her "fixed" now, but she comes by after school every so often anyway, and I'm always pleased to see her.

Looking at her, you'd never guess the mind-blowing landscapes that now exist within her mind.


 

16/5 - Difficult People

Stella's parents were, to all intents and purposes, "difficult people". Well, at least according to Stella they were. If you'd asked them if they considered themselves to be "difficult", they'd probably be quite aghast at the suggestion. In the sanctuary with all it's marvellous resources at your disposal, you can do quite a lot of "voodoo without the dolls" to your heart's content. I do feel, however, I have to give you a few words of warning on the subject.

Jim had acquired a new boss at work - when he'd expected he was going to be given the promotion and the job after his previous boss retired. "To make matters worse" - his words! - the new boss was ... a woman twenty years his junior, and with a university degree to boot.

He shuffled very uncomfortably around, wrung his hands and then admitted that he'd had "thoughts" about what he would do to her whenever his mind wandered - I refuse to hallucinate what other people's thoughts might be in general, but in particular case I was rather grateful that I make that a habit.

Apparently, his relationship with his new boss had deteriorated into trench warfare, the other staff was siding with her, work and the thought of going to work was becoming unbearable to the point where he experienced momentary paralysis in the mornings - he couldn't get his legs to move for a few minutes on waking and had to sit on the side of his bed for a time, willing them to take the first step of the day. His GP had referred him, wisely, to me.

"Do you believe in magic?", I asked him.

He was completely blown away by this, but at least it stopped him shuffling around and twiddling his hands.

"No, it's all a lot of mumbo jumbo.", he then stated categorically.

"I wonder if we could, for a moment, believe that it's all true. That somehow the things you do in your mind with another person really influence them in real life. That whatever you send out, returns to you threefold. What if that were true?"

He laughed a little. "Then, my dear, I would be in very deep shit indeed.", he said.

I put it to Jim that his legs were just trying to protect him from having to walk yet again into a situation that was so hateful and damaging to him. He was very surprised by that notion; I was surprised yet again how elusive the elusive obvious can sometimes appear. It made sense with hindsight to him, however, and so we went on to discuss his various options.

Although Jim in his pinstripe suit, greying hair and "mumbo jumbo attitude" might not at first glance appear to be a good candidate for the kind of things I have people do with their minds, I nevertheless went ahead and had him create a safe place where he was fully in control; and as he told me about the stronghold with the huge metal doors that only he could open, tension began to fade a little.

I then told him to get his boss in for a chat. That's fast and drastic, but Jim was a strong and experienced man, very used to doing things he abhorred, and had trained all is life to perform no matter what his state of mind; unlike a tender, far more "enlightened" gentle soul on the spiritual path, these hard won resources allowed me to go straight for the jugular in this case.

He didn't like the idea one bit, but then imagined her tied up and fully muzzled (!!) in a titanium cage on the far side of a large metal room. To make it even better, the cage stood on a trap door which could make it and it's contents disappear the instant a big red panic button close by his right hand was activated.

That seemed to be enough for him to feel reasonably safe in her presence; and he began to make tentative contact with her.

To make a long and complex story short, he learned that she was as desperately unhappy as he was, this situation being her worst nightmare as a first introduction to directing a team of people; was afraid of him on a physical level; felt intimidated by him personally as well as by his professional experience; that he reminded her of her overbearing father, and finally, that she was also under a lot of pressure from her own superiors to resolve the situation of which they were completely aware.

At this point, I offered Jim the chance to get out of this relationship altogether by finding alternative solutions that would satisfy "his legs" - such as another job, early retirement, a different position within the company etc. etc. He, however, expressed a preference for sorting out his problems with the woman in question.

"How would you go about it, seeing that you've already done many negative things to her in your mind so far and it hasn't worked?" I asked.

"You're not really suggesting that if I did NICE things in my mind to her, it would?"

"No, not necessarily. But wouldn't it be worth a try?"

He considered that for a while, and eventually agreed that there was no harm in trying - after all, it couldn't get any worse and he was tired of the energy it took hating her and wishing her dead.

"But what nice things could I possibly do to her?", he asked, shaking his head.

"I don't know - remember, we're playing at magic here. You could wave a magic wand, just like Tinkerbell."

He laughed at that a bit, but still couldn't get himself to think of anything nice for his nemesis.

"What do you enjoy having? If it comes back threefold, you might as well pick something you like in the first place!"

That did the trick. All of a sudden, there was this great big long shopping list of "nice" things - peace of mind, better self esteem, pride in the work, a sense of importance, being respected, being a worthwhile person, having money, having good health, being popular ... the list grew longer and longer as I wrote each item onto the big white board in my office (I prefer my clients to see what I write down rather than muttering to myself and scribbling ominously on a clip boarded pad when they've said something particularly profound).

"Right", I said. "Now here's the list. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to go back and give her each one of these as a gift in any form or shape you would like, even if it's just saying the words."

He swallowed a couple of times, folded his hands, went back to the metal room with the caged woman, cleared his throat and began. "Ruth Smith, I give you the gift of peace of mind."

It was hard for him to start with, you could see how he struggled to say the words, but he was a strong and determined man and he did it, although on more than one occasion his voice faltered and nearly broke. When he was through, he looked as though he had just run a marathon or something - exhausted but proud.

"Now, how does that feel?", I asked. Apparently, just a third of the way into the list, the cage had dropped away and then, the bindings. Towards the end, it was just the woman, sitting on the floor with her head on her knees, crying.

"I don't know how I feel", he said. "Strange. Will this work?"

"I can't know that.", I said, trying to hide a little smile. I did instruct him, however, not to change his behaviour in the slightest when he went back to work, to check if there had been a change in her behaviour towards him in the absence of any other intervention.

He rang me the following evening. It seemed that there was something peculiar going on - Ms Smith had been behaving very out of character; she had avoided him, not given him any public dressing downs, and seemed all of a sudden very unsure how to relate to him all of a sudden.

"Honestly, I've done nothing - what's going on?"

Well, I can't tell you that these two got married the week later.

What I can tell you is that Jim's chosen to stay on, the department is relatively at peace and working productively, and "the legs" now work fine in the mornings. What I am especially happy to report is that following a spot of road building and countryside-scaping in and around Jim's internal stronghold, it occurred to him to sign up with a senior executive job search company - because "you never know where it might lead, and there's no harm in trying, right?"

*Note: The case story above is a precursor for the wonderful “The Gift” pattern which you can find in the Resources Section.


 

16/5 - Questing

Questing is an activity you can engage in when you don't even know what the problem actually is, as well as when faced with a problem that you have utterly failed to overcome by any means known to you.

You can also do mythical quests of some form or shape to help with future creation and when there's a general lack of direction in life; sometimes, you might find that a quest is required as the natural solution to a problem that has manifested through a revelation, or a dream.

In my opinion, a proper mythical quest involves a journey - but hey, that's just my opinion. You could quest on a map, or do a kind of treasure hunt in your subterranean domains instead; still, most people when the time comes, will prepare for a major journey of some kind.

You can go questing on your own, or you can assemble a group of people and/or creatures, which will be extra resources on your journey; both versions are well documented in story, tale and fable.

Linda dreamed about a mountain in which there lived a single man. Outside the mountain, there was an ice age and a small village nearby, where people were now starving to the degree that they had begun to eat each other. Still, the man would not reveal that inside this mountain there was heat, light and food - he preferred to sit in his mountain all by himself and watch them die.

The dream was very vivid and disturbing, and Linda chose to approach it via a quest. She saddled up her dragon, took a warm cloak and asked to be taken to the place where these events were unfolding.

As the dragon rose above her sanctuary, she could see that they were heading across the sea towards another continent of her domain; like Antarctica, it was entirely covered in thick ice - yet it wasn't that far north, and the seas around it were temperate and mild.

She soon spotted the mountain of her dream, which was in fact part of a much larger mountain range; she could also see from way up high that the glacier which had covered the entire continent had begun on the highest mountain, where there was a well that created more and more ice instead of water.

This glacier well was guarded by a black shape who told her that it had been enchanted a long time ago and in order to unfreeze it, a particular magic flower was needed to break the spell.

Well, and to make a long and complex story short, after much trial and tribulation as is customary in questing, the flower was found, the spell broken, the villagers saved, the man redeemed and Linda was happy. She also said that, "I can't believe that I've come up with all of that. At school, I couldn't even write a one page composition. Where does it all come from?" Where indeed?

Who knows? Who cares? The point is, here's a really nice example of problem solving via a mythical quest; I like this one because we didn't even know what the problem was that Linda's dream represented. Once you really get down to immersing yourself in the story rather than wondering what it all means, things get underway and a very healing - and exciting - time can be had by all.

Peter, on the other hand, knew exactly what he wanted. He wanted to develop more "trust in the Universe". That might seem a strange request on the surface, but it was central to many issues in his life, from manifesting positive relationships to manifesting abundance and joy. As he'd never had any "trust in the Universe", he didn't know what such a thing might look like; he also didn't want to get this resource through a past life or a higher self but felt he needed to discover it for himself in the here and now.

I suggested a quest.

He set off, the lone figure walking into the sunrise, out of his sanctuary and into the surrounding badlands. Once again, you could create a top notch fantasy movie out of the events that occurred, the strange creatures and people he met, some of whom aided him in his quest, some of whom tried to stop, side track, or deter him.

In the end, he found it. "Trust in the Universe" was, in fact, a velvet cloak of the darkest purple with all the stars and all the galaxies of all the Universe woven into it's very fabric. Not a bad object to have been found by an unmarried 42 year old accountant, what! You should have seen the look on his face when he put that cloak finally around his shoulders. That was really something...

If you think that such mega mental movie world creations are out of your league, think again.

I can assure you that it's a simple process that moves along under it's own speed, just as a conversation does - something turns up, you respond, the situation changes, you respond, and so on and so on until the conclusion is reached and both conversation partners go home happy.

But going back to the subject of mythical quests, there's one last thing you might like to consider before you move out. The quest is important as an overall process; it's not really about "the magic flower" or the "star spangled cloak".

Quests are the original courses in personal development; right from the decision to go forth and start the journey, in spite of the fact that the outcome is unknown and that the journey might be treacherous, through all the trials and tribulations, to the success at the end. The one at the end of the quest is not the same person who started out on it; the one at the end is wiser, more seasoned, more confident - a true hero, if you will.

A word of advice. It is customary in the fifth act of any quest to experience what is known as "the hero's darkest hour". This is the moment when everything seems to have gone wrong, the night is at it's darkest, the problems seem truly insurmountable, and the audience thinks, oh dear, he's had it. He's failed. At this moment, the true hero reaches deep inside, and finds the strength for one more attempt, one more effort, one more push. And at this moment, the tide is turned, and, with ever gathering strength and ever growing confidence, the hero completes the task and wins the day.

I wish you good fortune on your quest.


 

 

16/6 - Familiarizing With the Unfamiliar

In the more advanced forms of lecturing these days, there exists the concept of "pre-teaching". What it means is that before a new subject or concept is presented, it is mentioned in passing a few times, or examples of this subject or concept are given whilst on a different subject. When the "new" subject is then presented, the student experiences a feeling of familiarity, and this allows the new knowledge to be integrated more smoothly and lessens culture shock, as it were.

When there's a dramatic or frightening transition to be made, you can lessen your culture shock and allow yourself to access this feeling of familiarity by using a representation in your sanctuary.

Catherine, an A* student, was very worried about going to university. What made it worse was the university she had chosen was Oxford, and she felt the weight of the name of that century old institution bear heavily upon her mind and spirit.

I asked her to represent all the schools she'd ever been to in some form, and she though of a number of towns along a road, from a really small group of farm houses, to a hamlet, a town, and there, on the horizon, lay a huge city of biblical proportions.

"Just looking at it makes my heart sink", she said with a sigh. I suggested she turn her back on it for the moment, and re-visit all the towns along the way, checking around for any possible trouble spots or problems that might be holding her back - I'm a great believer in clearing out the past before you can get on with the future. This she did, and found all manner of minor and major problems, such as a dangerous swamp in one village into which small children would be sucked if they didn't take care and wandered by too closely; a library in one of the towns to which she owed past dues; a nasty witch living in a haunted house, and so on. When her affairs with these towns had been properly settled, she turned her attention back to the biblical city.

Over the next couple of weeks and without any further help from me, she spend time here and there exploring it, finding her way about it, overcoming problems and frightening situations, finding rooms to rent for herself, making new friends, finding a mentor, checking out the night life and acquiring a house keeper and a local guide. As a result, Catherine told me that "I'm no longer afraid of going to Oxford, and I don't have nightmares any more.

“I won't kid myself and think it's going to be all perfect and easy, but I really feel quite excited about the whole idea and I am sure that I'll be able to cope. Others have done it before me and lived!"

Dealing with a metaphorical biblical city circumvents the scenarios which Catherine must have played out in her mind in order to be able to be afraid in the first place. This is the reason why she could cope with the city in her mind and find solutions to all the problems it presented, and why she could not do so with her - just as unreal - representation of Oxford and herself there, lonely, confused and panic stricken. Also, as a result of her metaphorical exploration, Catherine decided to "act in accord" and do something practical to help prepare herself - such as studying a town map well in advance, acquiring some student's guides on the resources available, and finding out how to do some basic cooking. Her mother was dumbfounded by the latter!

 

Posted Jan 26, 2017
💛 Donate To Support The GoE

If you enjoy this, please consider donating to the GoE. Your continued support makes a huge difference.

🗣 Chat!