Finding The River by Sally Topham

Chapter 17

The Return of the Sun

In the old days, winter was thought to commence after Samhain, for this is the time Nature was seen as noticeably retreating within herself and withdrawing her energies. The long nights and the dark mornings reflected this, as did the leafless trees, the lack of vegetation, and the hibernation of certain animals. The ancient Celts understood that the earth needed to sleep in winter in order to regenerate her energies after all her efforts in the previous seasons.

Nature’s resting period continues throughout November and late December and during this time, the sun sinks lower and lower on the horizon. Then comes the Winter Solstice, which happens around December 21st or 22nd, and at that point, because of the tilt of the earth’s axis, the sun starts climbing higher in the sky.

Winter

Winter Solstice was a very auspicious time for the ancient Celts because they believed the sun had overcome the darkness and was being re-born. This gave rise to great celebrations and feasting in honour of the new-born Solstice Sun. They called this festival “Yule”, and their rituals around this occasion included offerings and merry making, as well as burning large “Yule logs” to symbolize the return of the Light.

Yule was celebrated as a time of family gatherings and goodwill towards all people. Sprigs of the sacred mistletoe plant were hung over their doorways to protect them from evil and as a sign of peace and friendship. They also decorated their homes with evergreen branches and stems of holly and ivy. Holly represented the masculine, and the soft, winding stems of ivy signified the feminine. This greenery was used to symbolise the fact that the earth never dies, but merely sleeps, and that the green shoots of new life will come once again in the spring. To this day, we still festoon our homes with holly, ivy and mistletoe over the Festive Season, and many of our Christmas traditions such as merry-making, feasting, generosity, and connection with family and friends are based on these ancient Yule festivities. The use of candles as decorations as well as twinkling strings of fairy lights are also echoes of the fact that Christmas is a Festival of Light.

At Winter Solstice, the people looked forward to the coming of Spring, the return of the Light, and the re-generation of Nature. As it was also an important turning point in the cycle of the sun; this time of year was linked with concepts of birth and death as well as beginnings and endings. January, the first month of the New Year, is named after the Roman God Janus who was always depicted with two heads—one looking backwards and the other forwards. He was honoured as the God of Departure and Return and he was also the God of New Beginnings.

The ancient understandings around Janus are the basis for the traditional practise of making New Year resolutions. But, as I said, my view is that February or March is a better time for resolutions because that’s when the energy begins to rise and there’s more impetus for actually carrying them out.

Reflection

In terms of how we translate all this into our personal work, we can see immediately that, in winter, Nature is encouraging us to be less active and to take things at a gentler pace. And as the cold weather tends to push us inwards and make us more introspective, so it follows that we need to use this time to enter a period of reflection and gently uncover what we need to work upon in the coming year.

Exercise 52 will help you in doing this.

Exercise 52: New Year Reflections

Ask yourself the following questions and write down the answers in a notebook so that you can refer to them in the following year:

• When do I feel that my life is most meaningful?

• What would bring me more happiness than anything else in the world?

• Have I ever told those who mean the most to me how I feel about them?

• Which of my friendships in the last year was the most mutually supportive and why?

• In what ways did I nourish my most intimate relationship last year? (If you don’t have a significant other in your life, remember that, in fact, your most intimate relationship is always with yourself!)

• What are my most significant achievements since last New Year?

• What were my greatest challenges since last New Year?

• What are the biggest mistakes I made since last New Year?

• What can I release from my past by forgiving myself and/or others?

• What aspect of myself would I most like to let go of in the coming year?

What project or goal, if left undone, will I most regret next New Year?

Although the questions in Exercise 52 may appear simple on the surface, they actually provide much food for contemplation. For example, if you can identify the times when life is most meaningful for you, how often do these events occur? Could you have more of them? If so, what prevents this from happening? All in all, your answers to each question can give you plenty to think about to help you understand what’s going on inside yourself at a deeper level.

Awareness

“Know thyself” is one of the most ancient instructions for those pursuing personal growth. Believe me, there are always more things we don’t know about ourselves than we might think! In order to keep an eye on those areas which require help and healing, we need to develop as much awareness as possible.

• Awareness helps you to become conscious of your beliefs, limiting and otherwise

• Awareness helps you to see where you’re challenged and where you succeed

• Awareness allows you to experience more meaning, healing and well-being on all levels of your life

• Awareness opens up insights about your inner potential and helps you to become who you really are

Insights appear in flashes rather like sunlight dances through leaves. Catch those glimpses of understanding by writing them down when they filter through, otherwise they may slip through your fingers! Intuitive thoughts and feelings are like seeing things out of the corner of your eye. How many times have you brushed aside an intuitive thought about something and then wished later that you hadn’t? Intuition nudges us in the ribs, time after time! Don’t be in such a hurry to dismiss those little pieces of perception that filter though.

Always try to keep your mind as open as possible, otherwise you may find you block out opportunities which come your way. It’s easy to fall into the trap of trying to control too much and to place rigid conditions on exactly how you want things to happen in your life. There’s nothing wrong with having a “wish list”, but instead of carving it in stone, write it in the sand! That way, you let go of conditions and simply allow your desires, aims and efforts to unfold in whatever way is best for all concerned.

You see, when you can trust that what you seek will come in the form in which you need it and not necessarily in the form in which you want it, and when you’re prepared to accept that it will come when you’re ready for it and not before that time, you’ll start finding that unexpected coincidences and signs appear in your life to give you guidance. For instance, you might find a book or a magazine article suddenly comes your way that tells you about something you need to know. Or you may discover that in seeking change, a chance meeting with a stranger may provide you with a whole set of new opportunities. The psychologist Carl Jung described these meaningful “coincidences” as synchronicities. Watch out for them, because they’re important signposts which can lead you towards your personal rivers.

Winter is a time to take better care of yourself—for health reasons, if nothing else! It’s always good to develop a more loving and nurturing attitude towards yourself. A lot of people have difficulty with this concept. They believe it’s OK to care for and look after others, but that caring about oneself is wrong, egotistical or selfish—and probably all three!

Kindness and Compassion

I’ve already mentioned that we all have an inner voice that criticises who we are and what we do and is often referred to as the “Inner Critic”. It’s always putting us down and pulling the carpet from under our feet. Very often the Critic’s voice has echoes of some parent, relative or teacher who may have lacked the ability to be encouraging and supportive in our early days. Perhaps they unwittingly brought you down with disparaging remarks such as, “You got 95% in that test? So what happened to the other 5%?”

Remarks like that can easily lead to low self esteem and a tendency towards fiercely unkind self criticism. The sad thing is that often, long after we’ve removed ourselves from the orbit of people who undermined us in this way, the Inner Critic takes over and continues to inflict similar damage throughout our adult life. So be aware of how much you pull yourself to pieces and try to identify whose voice is behind this practise. Recognise how unconstructive it is energetically to put yourself down so badly, and make a commitment to being kinder to yourself.

It’s also good to be aware of what you’re judging or criticising in the people around you as well. Like it or not—the behaviour and attitude we condemn in others is very often something we do ourselves! When something really irritates you, do yourself a favour and check out how prone you are to doing this thing yourself! Even though you may find this unthinkable, you’d be amazed at how often you’re equally at fault. It’s not an easy lesson to learn, but once you’ve accepted it, you’ll be very glad that you have!

If you want to develop more kindness and compassion, not only towards yourself but also towards others, Exercise 53 outlines a wonderful 2,500-year-old Buddhist meditation practise to help you do so.

Exercise 53: Loving Kindness Meditation

Close your eyes. Come into your breath and spend a few moments focussing and centring yourself. When you’re ready to begin, bring to mind some image of you holding yourself lovingly. You might try seeing yourself enfolded in a soft pink or blue aura, or imagine cradling yourself as a tiny child.

Then start repeating the following verse over and over again in your mind:

May I be filled with loving kindness

May I be well

May I be peaceful and at ease

May I be happy

Practise this regularly over a period of several weeks for good effect.

As you develop more feelings of kindness and compassion towards yourself, you might like to start extending this towards others within the same meditation period.

You could practise Loving Kindness for friends, relations, animals, or even the world in general! Do one person at a time, picture them as clearly as you can, and give each one your focus for at least 5 minutes.

All you need to do is to alter the words slightly as follows for each set of meditations:

May he/she be filled with loving kindness

May he/she be well

May he/she be peaceful and at ease

May he/she be happy

This is also a very powerful practise to do for people who are causing you problems; e.g., noisy or uncooperative neighbours, unpleasant work colleagues or others which show you animosity. Practise the Loving Kindness Meditation for them over several weeks and see how beneficial this can be in changing the nature of your relationship with such people.

Daily meditation is such a good way of developing the ability to still the mind. If you haven’t already done so, turn back to Chapters 6 and 7 and try out some of the techniques I’ve given you. Once you’ve found a meditation that feels right, try to make a commitment to do it every day. And if you can’t manage to do it regularly, try supplementing your practise with some quiet time as often as possible. See below for some ideas:

• Sit quietly beside a clear pond (preferably with the sunlight twinkling on it) and contemplate the light dancing on the water. It’s very mesmerising.

• Enjoy watching a sunset and EmoTrance the feeling of its soft gentle energies. Review Exercise 38: Feasting on Energy, to ensure that you really nourish yourself with its tranquillity.)

• Give yourself a break from the relentless media output of our culture. Try going without newspapers, magazines, listening to the radio or watching television for a week! You’ll be surprised how much quieter your mind is after a few days.

• Or if a week seems impossibly long, try just a day of silence and mindfulness (whilst forgoing all of the above)!

• Sit in a candlelit bath and watch the flame shimmering in the bath water. Allow yourself to dwell in the quiet, still, one-pointedness of this experience. (You could also try doing the Moon Lake Reflection meditation (Exercise 19: Moon, Lake, Reflection Meditation) if you’re having a bath by the light of a single candle).

Dreams

As the days grow shorter and the nights become longer, it’s easy to see how we’re being influenced by winter. The cold weather makes many people want to sleep more, so automatically we’re moving into a bit of a “hibernation” mode. I know I tend to sleep longer when it’s cold and dark in the mornings. Sleeping (and dreaming) is both very beneficial to our health and well-being. The conscious mind and the body require about eight hours sleep each day, although some people are happy with less. As we age, sleep requirements may diminish to six or seven hours. Whichever category you fit into, sleep provides vital time for the body to rest and rejuvenate, and also benefits the immune system, so try to ensure that you get enough of it.

We all dream when we sleep, even those people who insist they never do! It’s just that they don’t remember them! There are many different types of dreams. There’s Lucid Dreaming, where the dreamer actually becomes aware that they’re dreaming and can direct themselves back into the dream if they wake up. They can even take control over the characters and the environment of the dream if they choose to do so.

Recurring Dreams are those where the themes of previous dreams are repeated and that re-surface in your dream state from time to time. In addition, there are nightmares where something traumatic or unpleasant is happening, or prophetic dreams which seem to predict a future event.

Many people claim to have received creative inspiration through a dream. The writer Robert Louis Stevenson is said to have been inspired to write his book about Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde through a dream. The same thing happened with the famous Beatles song, “Yesterday”. And Handel apparently heard the last part of his celebrated “The Messiah” in a dream.

Dreams are a very important part of our brain processing. Current thinking has it that dreams help us sift through the events of the day. They can also help us become aware of some hidden emotion that lies buried deep within about which we often have no awareness. So, don’t dismiss your dreams—they can give an indication of what’s going on in the unconscious mind.

If you’d like to get better at understanding the messages you receive from your unconscious, the best way to begin is to start keeping a dream diary and commence recording your dreams (Exercise 54).

Exercise 54: Keeping a Dream Diary

Get into the habit of writing down your dreams because they’re frequently forgotten within a short time after waking. If you can manage to do this, you may notice that certain patterns are emerging over a period of time which are useful indicators of any issues, fears or anxieties you may be feeling at a very deep level.

Although recalling dreams is a perfectly natural process, it requires practise. But the more you work at it, the better you become.

Here are some things you can do to improve your dream recall.

• Before you go to sleep, ask to remember your dreams. Whisper your request out loud, or say it mentally

• Keep a notebook beside your bed specifically for dreams and make a point of writing them down as soon as you wake in the morning whilst you can still remember them. (If you leave it till later in the day, you’ll probably find you’ve forgotten what you dreamt.)

• If you wake up in the middle of the night after a dream, just jot down a few key points to jog your memory in the morning rather than trying to write out the whole experience. (Writing an account of the dream there and then could end up making you too wide awake and prevent you from getting back to sleep again.)

• Write down everything you can remember—characters, images, locations etc. You’ll find the more you write, the more you remember.

• Sometimes you’ll remember more of a dream later in the day because something triggers recall—a person, an event or whatever. Again, try to write it down or make some brief notes as soon as you remember it.

Writing out dreams is a really good way to increase your intuition because dreams and intuition are very closely related.

The subject of dream interpretation is something that has fascinated the human race for thousands of years. The ancient Greeks worked with dreams for healing purposes and also saw them as a means to receive divine advice and prophecies. Other ancient civilisations have also relied heavily upon them as a means of guidance and inspiration. The Native Americans devised ways of inducing a prophetic dream called a Vision Quest by fasting and praying until a dream came to them which would guide them forward in their lives.

Dream interpretation came to the fore in the West in the early 20th century through the work of the psychologist, Sigmund Freud, and psychiatrist, Carl Jung, both of whom believed that dreaming was an interaction between the conscious and unconscious mind. Marie Louise von Franz, who worked closely with Jung, said, “Dreams generally point to our blind spot. They never tell us what we already know. They will tell us what we don’t know.” (From The Way of the Dream by Marie Louise von Franz).

Recent research has shown that the main emotion to surface in dreams is anxiety as well as pain and fears of abandonment. Negative emotions appear to be felt more regularly than positive ones.

Personally, I’ve found the most satisfactory way of interpreting dreams is to work on the understanding that every person you dream about is a symbol of some aspect of yourself. This applies no matter whether the “characters” in your dream are male or female. You see, we all have male and female within us. In very basic terms, anything to do with nurturing, receiving, caring, healing, being creative, intuitive or perceptive, is about the feminine aspect of ourselves. Whilst on the other hand, the parts of us which plan, assess, build, fix and construct, are to do with putting things out in the world and are all aspects of our masculine side. This means that dreaming about a man or a woman—whether you know them or not—can signify the male or female sides of our personalities, and aren’t necessarily who or what they appear to be. It’s therefore important to take note of what those figures are doing and saying in your dreams as it will apply to some aspect of your life.

Don’t take your dreams literally. Remember, everything you experience in dreams is symbolic. A dream about death and dying for example can simply signal that you’re moving into a new phase in your life and letting go of some old baggage.

Working with your dreams can be both healing and a tremendous source of guidance and wisdom. As Denise Linn says, “…(They can) foretell your future, reveal your past, and warn you of danger. They can contain creative inspiration or assist in releasing the barriers of your life. Dreams can serve as a doorway to a mystic arena for inner-dimensional travel and communication with loved ones who have passed on. They can be a springboard for night healing, astral travel, and soul searching.” (From The Hidden Power of Dreams by Denise Linn).

Unfortunately, there isn’t space in this book to go deeply into the subject of interpretation or other ways of working with your dreams. However, if you want to find out more about dreams and how to interpret them, there are lots of fascinating books on this subject, some of which are listed at the back of the book in the Further Information and Suggested Reading section.

Winter On An Inner Level

From the beginning of Spring, Nature leads us in the direction of activity and growth. But after reaping the fruits of all her efforts in the autumn, she’s clearly no longer generating the high levels of energy that we saw in previous months. This change is often reflected in our personal energy at this time of year and we may become aware of tiring more easily. As winter draws in, there’s a sense of slowing down, of not wanting to do some of the things we usually do, of accomplishing less, and sometimes feeling that we don’t know anything. We may go through patches of believing that nothing’s happening and life may seem a bit dull. It’s often a time that gives rise to a sense of having undone the benefits of all the efforts we made previously, a time when we may lose heart, forget our courage and strength, or feel sad and lonely or empty.

When and if this happens, we’re simply experiencing the darkness that comes before the light. This is a time when we sometimes enter into the mysterious and shadowy unknown where it’s hard to see and we’re no longer certain of where we are. Familiar objects assume strange shapes in the gloom making it difficult to find our bearings, and this is the season when we may struggle to hold our balance and feel the security of the earth beneath our feet.

Winter is a period of gestation—of waiting in the darkness before moving forwards into the light. And it helps to remember that however uncomfortable and scary this might feel, there’s a very positive side to it. When things are shrouded in darkness, we no longer see their separateness, for they all merge into one. So, if you feel you’re wandering around in a shadowy winter landscape and not seeing the wood for the trees, what’s actually happening is that you’re going through a period of integration. It’s as if you need to lose your way before you find a better route. You need to feel a sense of loss before you realise how much you have. By embracing the darkness in yourself (i.e., those parts of you which need help and healing), you have the chance of becoming more whole, more connected, and closer to your true nature.

When life gets uncomfortable and you’re afraid you’re losing your way, remember there are always things you can do to get back on track and out of the densest part of the jungle. Just remember what you’ve learnt! And try some of the following:

• When things get tough and you’re feeling that low winter energy, try using Exercise 37: Evoking Innocent Energy. It’s such a lovely gentle healing to give yourself.

• If you need spiritual uplift, try Exercise 18: Uplifting and Unburdening the Heart. It’s a really beautiful, transformational meditation.

• Go back to Exercise 2: Creating a Safe Place Within Yourself, and take refuge in your safe place

• Keep Journaling! Get it all down on the page! It’s better out than in!! You can track your progress this way, too.

• EFT or EmoTrance your distress (see Chapters 12 and 13).

Celebrate Winter

There’s no doubt that the period around Winter Solstice, which is one of the oldest celebrations in the world, is a magical and very special time with all the customs which we still continue of connecting with family and friends, singing and feasting. What better way, then, to end the final chapter of this book than with a Winter Solstice Ritual you might like to perform for yourself! Don’t forget, you need to check the date of the Solstice as it changes from year to year.

This is definitely another ritual where you could invite like-minded friends to come round and join you. Solstice is a time for being with loved ones, enjoying their company and giving gifts. It’s also a time of feasting and merriment, so get ready for a party afterwards! Prepare some food and ask those coming to bring edible contributions. Also have a tray of glasses and some bottles of wine or juice ready to drink after the ritual (Exercise 55).

Exercise 55: Winter Solstice: The Return of the Sun

Spread cloths of green, red and white on your altar and choose candles of the same colours. Add in some holly, ivy, and pine cones, etc.

Make or buy wreaths of holly and ivy. Place one on or near your altar and maybe hang another on your front door. If you like Christmas trees, then by all means have one in your home and make sure it’s decorated by the time Solstice arrives. Hang up strings of those little white fairy lights you can buy and have them trailing across the mantelpieces, winding through banisters, or strung across doorways and over mirrors. Have fun being creative and decorate your home with a happy, childish sense of play.

Find a wide, shallow bowl suitable for displaying floating candles and fill it with water. Have enough floating candles for each person who is coming to join you for the ritual and put them in a container. Buy a packet of Christmas glitter or some of those little metallic gold or silver stars which are fun to scatter on surfaces. Keep these items all together and set them aside for the moment.

Before people arrive, set out the food and light your ordinary candles (not the floaters). Switch on the fairy lights and light some incense or joss sticks. Place your floating candle bowl on or by your altar. Open the packet of glitter and scatter some over the water, or throw in some of the stars so that when the floating candles are lit, you get a reflected twinkle from them.

If people are bringing presents, ask them to put them under the tree or by the altar before sitting down in a circle. Once everyone has arrived and settled, you can begin.

Turn out all the lights and blow out all the candles, but keep one beside you together with some matchsticks and a saucer for the dead matches.

Close your eyes and start following your breath. When you feel ready, take yourself (if you’re doing this on your own) or lead the others into the following guided meditation.

Visualise being outside in the dark. Imagine a tree (it may be one in your own garden, if you have one) with its bare branches silhouetted against a moonlit sky. Look up at its crown and then let your eyes travel downwards, along its trunk and down towards its roots. Imagine following them down deep into the earth below and being able to see what’s happening underneath the soil. See how the tree roots mingle with the roots of other trees and those of nearby plants and bushes. See all the spring bulbs buried there with small healthy little shoots emerging from them. You can also see tiny stems peeping out from the roots of other plants. All are moving slowly upwards towards the surface of the earth with great intention. Stay with this image for a few moments and take inspiration from all this hidden activity.

Now, withdraw your attention from the earth and imagine again that you’re looking at the tree with its bare branches and the general sparseness of vegetation around it. Spend a little while with this image, knowing that despite the apparent barrenness on the surface of the earth, Nature is carrying new life in her womb. And so it is for you—metaphorically. New things are in the process of growing towards the time of birth. Despite the darkness, we still grow, and fresh insights, perspectives and understandings will come with the return of the light in spring. Stay with this idea for a few moments more, and then slowly come back into the room.

Light the candle beside you and then get up and bring the bowl of water down from the altar and place it in the centre of the circle. Put the container of floating candles beside it as well as the matches and the saucer. Invite your friends to celebrate the return of the Sun by each taking a floating candle in turn, floating it on the water and saying what they’d like the light to bring into the world (i.e., peace, generosity, compassion, understanding, truth, etc.) Enjoy the blaze of the little lights as they grow in number and the twinkle of stars beneath the water or the glitter dust on its surface.

Ask everyone to join hands in the circle and give thanks for the priceless gifts of friendship and love, the joy and magic of the season and the promise of things to come. If you like, you could then all sing (to the tune of We Wish You a Merry Christmas) “We wish you a Merry Solstice, We wish you a Merry Solstice, We wish you a Merry Solstice, and a Happy New Year!”

Then light all the other candles and switch on the fairy lights. Pour out the wine or juice or whatever, and invite everyone to drink a toast to the returning Sun and all that it means for each person. Then distribute the presents and enjoy the party!

This is my suggestion for celebrating the Winter Solstice, but feel free to be creative and do your own thing.

Wishing you peace, light,

happiness, abundance and fulfilment

throughout every season!