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A Lesson In Relationships - EFT & The Clumsy Wife
Here follows a light-hearted look at working with EFT in relationships. Retold here with kind permission of a lovely couple who were participants at a recent practitioner-training weekend.
On the first day as we were exploring the many possibilities of using Meridian Therapies I was asked “Can you use EFT for working with couples?”
“Of course!” I replied and gave some brief information and ideas and carried on with the training – unaware that an excellent real life illustration was soon to unfold before us…
That same day we were going through the “aspect hunting” exercise. For those of you who have not yet explored in depth the wonderful art of EFT this is a part of our training where participants work in small groups to find the different layers of an issue.
In one group the members were struggling to find something to volunteer for their teammates to work with. “Why don’t you work on your clumsiness?” a husband in the group asked his wife. “OK” she shrugged if there’s nothing else.
So she began speaking of “her clumsiness” and our diligent trainees gathered round eager to find all the aspects to this problem. Overflowing with empathy and aghast at the fact someone should feel they were clumsy, they began their questions…
“How do you feel about it?” they enquired in gentle tones. “OK” came the reply - again with a shrug.
Q “How does it affect you?”
A “Well… it doesn’t really.”
Q “Do you (gasp) beat yourself up over it?”
A “No! I think it’s quite funny really.”
Q “Is there anything you’d like to change about this?”
A “Well I suppose I could slow down a bit but I don’t really want to.”
I was with another group up until this point and was only aware when I joined them that someone had been “volunteered” for the exercise and they were having a good deal of trouble finding anything to work with. In fact they had started with a list of possible aspects and were systematically crossing them off one by one!
“I think it’s you that has the problem!” a frustrated group member said to the husband pointing accusingly with her pen.
“Well it really gets on my nerves” he replied through slightly clenched teeth. “She’s spilled water on me, broken countless things, and dented the car” - as he spoke his lips got thinner and his knuckles whiter. While Mrs “Clumsy” sat back in her chair and giggled.
“Aha!” Declared the group.
“It really frustrates me,” he said “it so gets on my nerves. Actually it drives me insane!”
“How insane does it drive you out of 10?” chorused the thoroughly entertained group.
“Oh at least a ten!” He replied.”
And so to work… Some tapping later he reported feeling much calmer and light-hearted about being married to a “clumsy” wife.
When we were all back together in one group after the break I asked them if they would be willing to share our “findings” with the others. This they happily did and it was hilarious. One highlight being when our brave husband, the only male in the group, declared that his wife had on several occasions accidentally spilled hot drinks on his “better parts”!
Hilarity aside, it was plain to see that for him there was laughter now where previously there had been a great deal of stress. He told us that he had even considered ending their relationship over this very thing.
On day two of the training our husband returned, smiling and relaxed, and said that he would like to tell of an experience they had that morning on the way to the training.
He had, the night before, done some more tapping for himself on a few surrounding issues and decided to put his work to the test. He asked his wife to drive to the training as he was feeling tired.
He told us how driving had always been a source of major disturbance in their relationship. And, smiling very sweetly at his wife, began to tell of their journey that morning - as they set off she had narrowly missed a cyclist down a tiny country lane and caused him to dive in the hedge, she then took a sudden right turn without indicating and caused much beeping and swerving on the other side of the road.
Finally, after several other minor events were recalled which I don’t remember, he told us she had missed the turning to the hall where the training was being held. He told her she would need to reverse. “How do I do that in this car” she asked him. Just pull the gear lever up he had replied. At this point in his story he reached into her bag and produced the top of the gear lever, which she had pulled clean off!
Everyone was in stitches. They had blocked the road for a good few minutes before he was able to force the car into gear and move it and he had hurt his hand. And… they were both laughing and smiling at each other in such a way that it was obvious for all to see that this "problem" was a thing of the past. :)
For more information on Practitioner Level Trainings in Meridian Therapies with Ananga Sivyer - AMT Licensed Trainer and author of "The Art & Science of Emotional Freedom" - please visit Chandra PDS
If you are interested in exploring meridian therapies in depth in a comfortable and supportive environment you are invited to join us at our next training weekend training.
Some students from previous trainings will be joining us at this training to deepen their understanding yet further - this offers new trainees the opportunity to spend time with them and learn of their experiences in integrating these amazing tools into their practice.