EFT Case Story: The Mother Of All Aspects

The aspect was visiting her parents when her mother stopped talking to her; looking through her and making no responses at all. The aspect stayed a few more days before returning home. She rang several days later but her mother refused to come to the phone. The aspect’s birthday came and went as did Christmas with no acknowledgement and after several further phone calls the aspect just stopped trying. There was no real contact between them for 4 years until the aspect’s sister rang one Thursday night at 6pm to tell her that the aspect’s mother had died suddenly at 12.30 that day.

The aspect felt totally devastated, bereft and guilty that she hadn’t tried any harder; however, realising that however hard she tried it would not have been possible until the aspect’s mother was ready. Throughout her life the aspect’s mother had stopped speaking to her but for shorter periods. The aspect had stayed in touch with her sister and brother but they could not speak to their mother on this subject.

The aspect went up to her family home the next day and her father spoke to her but the situation with her mother was never discussed. The aspect’s mother had a history of not talking to people. Sonia stopped the story here and although she had tears in her eyes and was evidently upset, she was composed. I asked her how she felt about the aspect and she said’ it was a shame that the aspect couldn’t deal with the situation but the aspect was frozen with the pain of it all’.

Sonia’s SUE score was - 5. We agreed the first set up as ‘the aspect was frozen by the pain of it all; reminder: frozen. These were very powerful words and elicited a definite energy reaction from me – I felt ‘frozen’. After a round of tapping Sonia’s SUE score had reduced to -2. I was yawning like crazy, my eyes were tearing and Sonia said she was starting to feel better. I asked how the aspect felt now and Sonia replied that ‘the aspect feels that this was not about herself but her mother and the aspect couldn’t have done anything to prevent it but maybe the aspect could have dealt with it better’. We chose the second set up as: ‘the aspect could have dealt with it better’; R: ‘dealt with it better’. Following this Sonia looked a great deal better and her SUE score had risen to between +4 & +5. She said she felt a great deal better and in fact, the minute I said ‘we are going to tap for that 36 year old aspect and send her energy’; she had begun to feel better.

I asked Sonia to keep her hands on her heart and we counted down through the years from 55 to 35 so she could ‘talk to the aspect’. Sonia told her ‘you did the best you could with the situation; you couldn’t change it, it was a lesson for you to learn’. We counted back up to 55 and tapped to ‘the aspect couldn’t change it, it was a lesson for her to learn’; R: a lesson for her to learn’. Her SUE had risen to +6.

Given Sonia’s words were pretty luke- warm to that aspect; I said to Sonia that no one but her knew what the aspect had gone through and what would she say to comfort her? I said ’you hold the key; you can make her feel better like no one else can’. Sonia said to her aspect (after pondering): ‘you did the very best you could; it was all outside your control; it had to play out like it did. There was nothing you could do to change the situation’. Sonia wanted to tap to: ’There was nothing you could do to change the situation’; R: ‘nothing you could do’.

I then asked Sonia if she wanted to tap for something else or use a freedom spell or another method. She chose the freedom spell ‘all of my aspect’s hurt, I let you go; soften and flow, soften and flow’. We tapped to this.

Even though I had been very positive to Sonia and she was doing so well, I wanted her to really connect emotionally with her aspect and feel compassion which she still wasn’t doing. I asked her to keep her hands on her heart and stretch her energy hands down through the years to hold her aspect; I then asked her to visualise her aspect stretching her hands up through the years so they really connected at a heart level. I then asked what the aspect wanted to say to her. Sonia replied ’thank you’. I asked what Sonia wanted to reply and she said ‘I love you for what you went through’. I said that was pretty amazing and worth the aspect waiting all those years to hear. Sonia said she felt absolutely liberated; quite wiped out but also exhilarated. Her SUE score was between +8 and +9 and her eyes were shining. She said she felt very connected with her aspect. We carried out a final round to ‘fully connected’ until Sonia’s score was 10+++ and we were both buzzing. Before she went, I stressed just how well Sonia had done; she had never need prompting about using the aspect instead of first person. Sonia replied that she found it a very comfortable and powerful way of working and felt confident about working with aspects herself.