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EMO: Show Me You
GoE Trainer Sam Thorpe writes:
One of the most profound experiences for which I am grateful to Silvia is the beautiful and loving exercise of shaking someone's hand and giving them full attention whilst you say; "I don't know you. I would like to know you. Show me you."
It was taught to us after the Energists handshake; "Hello, my name is Sami and I am an Energist!"
When Silvia first introduced this exercise I was brought instantly to tears. Tears of remorse, love and gratitude with the simple realisation that, more than for anyone else, I needed to say this to my husband, my family and the people I 'knew'.
This exercise draws attention to the preconceptions we may have about our clients and about the people we meet. Based on our own experiences, we categorise and surmise and, rather than 'intuit', we 'presume' and filter the person in front of us. All this we do before they have even had a chance to exist within that time and space that we call 'now'.
We compare and contrast and make decisions - this person is thin, fat, old, young, like me, not like me; that person is nice; that one is mean... and we forget that we cannot possibly know this person before us. We cannot possibly know what it is like to be them. We cannot possibly know who they really are.
Moreover, they cannot be the same person they were in the past. They are ever-changing and ever-evolving. And of course you, the observer, are constantly changing. To have a true perception in the moment is rare for many people as our perceptions are based on an outdated 'truth', which may have been a misperception at the time anyway!
In the case of my husband, whom I could say I know 'inside out' - do I really? How can I? Not only can I not know what it is like to be him, but he can never be the same person from moment to moment as he exists in a different time and space every moment and will always be ever-changing. None of us can ever be the same as the person we were but a moment ago, let alone the person we were in our past experiences. Our life is a series of aspects, infinite aspects along an infinite time line.
How can you love someone if your idea of them is in the past? If I still see my husband as the man that said this or did that; how can I know him now?
Because a person is constantly changing, it will cause tension and stagnation if our perceptions are static. A moment that has passed can never be the same. If I never fully accept my husband for all that he can be in the present moment, I keep him small and do not allow him to blossom into his magnificence. Accepting and evolving past events and past relationships with past Aspects allows me to be nourished by those experiences to more fully love in the moment in which I exist.
If when I look at my family, I see the historic versions of them - their old Aspects from my memories. I never give them the chance to learn from their mistakes. I do not let them grow and therefore my relationship with them cannot grow. And, as I treat them, so shall they be to me.
The art and practice of allowing someone to be new in this moment has brought about changes for me similar to Hono o'pono pono in that it allows me to release my past. There is no forgiveness necessary as I accept that the you that is here now is a new Aspect and can only be here now.
This gave me an idea. I have done much self work and evolved from the place I was to now have a happy, health and fulfilling life. However I have struggled to forgive myself for some of my past behaviour and there has been a sense of shame about my violent outbursts and lack of control when I was at my lowest. I had not realised that I was judging my past Aspects, and more specifically, judging myself in the present as those Aspects. I was not allowing myself to change and grow and be all that I can be in this present moment.
I did the exercise for myself. I placed my hands on my heart, took some deep breaths and in connecting with myself I said: "I don't know you. I would like to know you. Show me you." even as I write this, the act of allowing this moves me to tears. That I allow myself to just 'be' is all I need. Having done this exercise, it was amazing to be called upon the very next day by a colleague who had done the very same thing for herself. She experienced such a profound shift that she needed someone to be with her while she integrated the experience that flooded her with energy and emotion, as it had for me.
In my first experience of doing this for myself I had found that I was holding onto the past. My colleague had realised she was judging who she should be in the future. I now do this exercise on a regular basis, especially for myself and when I notice I am drifting into judgement and comparison. Where are you not accepting and loving yourself?
What would be your learning to do this exercise? I would love to hear your experiences, learnings and messages. Why not email us or post in the EFT group on Facebook?
"I don't know you. I would like to know you. Show me you."