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Healing The Pain of Remembering
The client is a 47 year old woman who is a practicing psychotherapist and has a Master’s Degree in Social Work. The client came to me with a diagnosis of memory loss secondary to multiple sclerosis. Yet, she had a dilemma. As much as she had feared multiple sclerosis and her memory loss, she also feared remembering. Remembering meant pain.
Added Jan 2, 2010 | | 6,343 Reads
Healing The Pain of Remembering
This client was seen twice for Events Psychology sessions, first in October which was submitted to the Events Psychology study group and December 21st to elicit from the client in their own words how Events Psychology has impacted her life.
The client is a 47 year old woman who is a practicing psychotherapist and has a Master’s Degree in Social Work. The client came to me with a diagnosis of memory loss secondary to multiple sclerosis. Yet, she had a dilemma. As much as she had feared multiple sclerosis and her memory loss, she also feared remembering. Remembering meant pain and constant reminders of her inadequacy as a human person whether with a mother with Alzheimer’s, a letter from a remarried father with a possessive wife or a dangerous childhood moment. Forgetting and pushing these valuable events in her energy matrix beyond a shield, meant temporary relief from pain. But suppressing memories also meant that the insights within them were not absorbed and the feelings of inadequacy would come to be a part of her daily life.
Through Events Psychology techniques, the client would come to embrace the valuable insights these memories held for her.
One threshold shift came for the client when she realized one of her worst current memories evolved into something she now would want to remember. As she evolved one memory, more memories opened up for her. She began to embrace the value her memories held and the desire to remember even if it meant pain initially. EMO was used through the session as needed for stress treatments.
I interviewed the client today and asked her, “How have your problems evolved after our time together?” The client stated that “not remembering had its positives, but remembering gave me so many more positives, for example, I no longer feel responsible for my dad after I resolved the letter with my aspect. I can’t tell you how good that feels especially this time of year. I feel free and my family doesn’t have to suffer with the issues that relationship had brought. I always realized that as I tried to forget the bad stuff the good stuff went with it. There are definitely more positives to remembering and working through the memory, but I didn’t know how to do that before you taught me Events Psychology.”
I asked her, “How do you perceive the changes you have achieved?”
She responded, “I see them as real positive. I see how looking at my memories is helping me. I just have so many I want to use Events Psychology for! I now have another way to help myself be the person I want to be and not the one I was told to be. I think my overall memory is better too.”
The following is a revision of the case history from a session submitted in October.
This session presents the process taken with the client going through the basic stages of evolving the problem the client has brought all the way through the threshold shift on the problem they came with:
I had a very exciting Events Psych/ET session with a client who came to see me for the first time. She had recently been diagnosed with MS and chose to see me at the recommendation of a friend. Her issues were primarily cognitive with moderate memory loss. She felt like she was “loosing her mind”. She had tried EFT, but found it didn’t work well for her because of the memory loss issues. It actually frustrated her. When speaking of her life as a psychotherapist/MSW, she spoke mostly of bad memories that she wanted to forget. In fact, a large part of her life she wanted to forget. She stated, “I want to forget my mother has Alzheimer’s, I want to forget the way I get frustrated with her, I want to forget the bad things I’ve done.” There was so much she wanted to forget that she literally had tremendous memory loss.
With a little searching, we came to a place where she was able to remember a painful memory but it wasn’t that clear. I asked her where she felt it in her body as she recalled the memory and she said “nowhere.” It was evident that she had an incredible shield in place. I asked her where it was and she responded that it was a distance away. She was able to put a pinhole into it and the energy came through and she said, “Oh, I felt it in my head.” We soften and flowed and the energy flowed out the side of her head. With this, the clarity of the memory came back nearly instantaneously. The event revolved around a terrible, hurtful letter written to her by her dad, basically disowning her.
At this point, I asked her about the aspect reading the letter. She was visibly upset and we soften and flowed energy until she was in a receptive state. I asked her to think about the aspect and if she could talk to her what would she tell her. A beautiful conversation ensued with her aspect comforting her.
When asked if you would like to give a gift to the aspect, she thought awhile and gave her a rose quartz heart. Her aspect was so happy with the heart that she hugged her. In reflecting on the gift giving moment, a threshold shift occurred as she realized it was never her aspects “fault” to receive that letter. In fact, it wasn’t the letter where her pain was centered; she realized the real situation was pain as a result of grieving the father she lost to a second marriage.
Than another threshold shift came in the form of a surprise from speaking with the aspect ; she also realized that the letter was a relief! The burden of trying to make everyone happy especially around holidays was gone. She had felt terribly guilty for feeling relieved by the letter and seemed to create a memory of deep fatherly rejection. These intuitive moments from this event were resolved as a result of time spent with the aspect.
From this trauma event, a missing event was created as she allowed the relief and freedom this letter represented to pervade her being. She “softened and flowed” and felt the joy an energized end state can bring.
I asked her if she wanted to forget this memory now and she said resoundingly NO! A response only a true threshold shift can bring. Surprised at her reaction, she explained how the exchange which took place with her aspect, along with the gift, were so special to her now.
At this point I thought to try and open the shield a little more and she was able to do this. Instantaneously, another terrible memory came back; she almost pushed her sister out a window. The memory wasn’t clear with details but as she spoke to the little girl aspect, she was able to comfort her, offered her a gift and the aspect’s joy and thank you were gift enough for her. As this healing took place, the memory became more vivid, fresh insights were gained and again it was now something she wanted to remember. She than volunteered that the shield opened more and I asked her, “Where do you feel that in your body?” She stated in her head again. She softened and flowed and the energy flowed through her shoulder and out. More memories opened up to her. She was ready to remember more and she knew what to do for herself moving forward.
The Client was so vibrant leaving the session, even giggly. She was very different from the frightened, scared and serious aspect that had walked through the door. What could be more important than having your memory/memories back? She left with the beginnings of embracing the good with the bad.
She sent a beautiful note the following day. Among other things saving that “you gave/taught me so much more than you realize.” I loved the “taught” part in hopes that Events Psychology gave her a healing way to deal with her memories…they are precious!
Dr Teresa Lynch
Added Jan 2, 2010 | | 6,343 Reads