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Overcoming Feelings Of Inadequacy With EFT
Ananga Sivyer Director of the UK Association for Meridian Therapies interviewed a client who has been using EFT on a regular basis for several months about her experiences with this powerful new technique.
Ananga: One of your first major breakthroughs with EFT, as I recall, was at a "Building Bridges" workshop. And the issue you chose to work with was "not feeling good enough" is that right?
Gaura: Yes, it was "I don't feel as good as other people". I felt inadequate. You did the EFT on me for this didn't you?
Gaura: I've never experienced anything like it in my life - that feeling of immediate satisfaction. I just felt instantly relieved.
Ananga: I remember you laughing and looking around the room.
Gaura: Yes - I wasn't conscious of it at the time - but this is how it was. I felt as if someone had been holding me from behind, really tightly and it was uncomfortable, and all of a sudden they'd gone. And I was looking around thinking it's gone, it was like I was trying to find that feeling - it just completely disappeared!
Ananga: Having dissolved that feeling of inadequacy what did you feel you could now do? How has it affected you in your day-to-day life?
Gaura: Well, it meant that previously I would feel that others where better than me at the job that I do. I am a singer, and there are a lot of people that sing. There's always competition - but if you feel that you're not good enough and everyone's better - then what's the point in that? It's completely destructive. I have a better understanding of my abilities now; I know I can't sing like a gospel singer, there are certain things I can't do. But, the things that I can do, if I was still unable to admit that I could do them as well as everybody else then what would be the point? I would feel completely frustrated - and I don't have that frustration anymore. I don't feel as limited as I did. I feel as though I can properly manage my abilities.
I have also noticed that if someone asks me what I do now instead of saying "I'm a singer - sort of" I can say "I'm a singer". And if they ask me what sort of music I do I can tell them without making any excuses for it, without putting myself or what I do down.
I feel that EFT has given me, not so much a confidence, but rather opened my eyes to the reality of the situation and made me stop wasting time with excuses. It reminds me of what I'm good at.
Ananga: So it's made you naturally more aware of your own abilities?
Ananga: And you can see better what resources you have that you can use.
Gaura: Definitely it was lack a lack of familiarity. You know sometimes when you are feeling sick and you're not sure what's caused it? It seems to me that when you use EFT it helps you to identify things and put everything in it's place.
Ananga: OK so you've learned EFT quite thoroughly now, having seen and experienced it's potential it's become quite a familiar friend to you hasn't it?
Gaura: Yes, it has.
Ananga: So how do you use it when you're on your own, outside of a therapy or workshop situation. How do you use it as a self-help tool?
Gaura: Well, I feel that if I have a really big thing that I need to shift. after using EFT for a while I recognise the layer system, the way it peels back the layers one at a time, so if you have a really big lump you need to start at the beginning and work down to the bottom and for that I need to have a therapist still. You know, if I have a big problem, I'm not entirely able to clear that out completely myself. Also I like working with the kinesiology with that - you can really tell if those things are gone.
But on a practical level; last week I had to do some singing and I had a cough and I didn't know what to do, I was going to be singing for seven hours, and I didn't know if I could do it. So basically I tapped it and it worked, it completely went away. The fear that makes your throat close up went.
Because it's worked so much and you're just applying it and applying it, you remember it, it's just like a natural tool. If you've got a headache - you take an aspirin. If you've got anything - take EFT. It works, it just works!
Ananga: Good commercial! It appears that when working with EFT over a period of time that the process continues and deepens as well.
Gaura: Yes, that's another thing I like about EFT. It doesn't stay at one level - it increases. And that's why I find that it must have some real basis to it. Even though I felt a big relief that time, it really felt that I had been let go off by an enemy - it honestly felt like that. But afterwards there were repercussions to that - and they were emotional; I felt really emotional because I had been holding on to that feeling for such a long time and I was so used to it and when it was so completely gone I felt a bit shocked, so we did some follow-up and it was fine. But once that negative feeling is gone and settled - you don't have that again - you just don't.
Ananga: That's right, unless somebody is actually re-traumatised, they won't experience those emotions for that issue again.
Gaura: Right, wow! And the great thing is you can work on anything, you haven't got to go through months of therapy to get rid of that one thing from your mother when you were four. It's just so practical. I'm not actually a very practical person, so things around me need to be really practical and convenient for me to use them and EFT is the perfect thing for me. I'm sure it's for everybody - some therapies are very specific, they have their area where they fit. EFT suits everyone, I love the way it's so user friendly. I always have trouble keeping things up but I use EFT every day.
Gaura: Yeah. If I do go for a few days without using EFT it's not because I' ve forgotten it - it's because I felt I didn't need to do it. I like to do it.
Ananga: So it really has become a regular part of your life?
Gaura: Yes - if I can't sleep or whatever.
Ananga: On Silvia Hartmann-Kent's introductory EFT tape she asked a few people if they would renounce EFT if she gave them £1,000. What do you think about that?
Gaura: No way! (laughing) Why?
Ananga: More then? £20,000?
Gaura: Hmmm, tempting. I think that with EFT you could remove enough blockages that you could make as much money as you want. In one way shallow me would think £20,000 would be nice but what about the stuff you can do with EFT? Money seems insignificant in comparison, the fact that I can actually diet, or anything, without feeling completely nervously exhausted - I just think that's incredible, it's such a weight off my mind, and no amount of money would equal that.
Ananga: You mentioned dieting. What are your experiences with using EFT for weight loss?
Gaura: I have never, ever been able to diet in my entire life. It would be a day here or there, even on the first day I would always cheat with something. It was always a completely miserable experience. With EFT it's not so hard. Not only is it not so hard but I understand myself and why I do things so much better. I will sometimes tap for "even though I feel hungry all the time" and then I will either eat something because I really was hungry and it won't be such a big deal and I don't gain weight, or I won't feel hungry anymore. When you are somebody who's overeaten all your life, it 's your comfort and your joy, eating can be everything to you and when you have to stop or reduce it it's like there's nothing to turn to. Your comfort is gone it's like a complete abyss, it's so traumatic.
It's such a big deal for so many people, a drug addict can conquer their addiction and be a hero, a food addict can loose a couple of stone and people will say "oh that's nice, why didn't do it five years ago?" It's a big issue, but with EFT you get that emotional support. It really is like that, you think - yes I do feel like that, and I can justify it - what was that word you used earlier?
Ananga: Validation of emotions.
Gaura: Yes - validated. It really feels like that. You feel so stupid that you want to eat that thing so much and it makes you want to cry because you can't have it. Why? But if you tap with EFT and say "yes I do really want it and it's alright, I love myself even though I do". Somehow or another, I don 't really know how it works, but I love the fact that you can say that and tap and it's not a big deal anymore. And I've been able to stick at this for a long time, for me, it's been two months now, and I've lost weight. I'm going to continue and I'll lose all of it - and I'll lose it with EFT. I'm not going to weight watchers or on any fixed program, I just look at what I eat and decide if it's got too much fat in it for me. I have been known to tap my desires away in Safeway's!
Ananga: Really! You tap while you're shopping?
Gaura: Yeah - I've done it loads of times - cheesy puffs where the main target!! But shopping is a tough time when you're on a diet - so it has really helped.
Ananga: That's great. Thanks for your time and keep tapping!
Contact Ananga Sivyer at http://ananga.net if you have any comments, questions or would like to discuss this interview.