Some of the group met up in London the night before we were due to fly out to San Francisco and others met us at the check-in desk at the airport. Our check in time was 6.30 a.m. - three hours before departure because of extra security precautions. Once on the 'plane came the problem of what to do to while away the long hours during the flight? At various intervals five of us stood near an emergency exit to tap to avoid jetlag, much to the amusement of the odd passenger who happened to be awake. We took numerous walks around the 'plane and looked out of the window. It was mostly cloudy but we could see lots of snow and ice which seemed interminable as we crossed Greenland and Canada.
Once we landed we met up with the two remaining people in our party. We hired 5 cars to take us the three and a half hour drive to Gualala where we had booked into the aptly named Surf Motel. My room overlooked the ocean and had superb views. It was wonderful to be lulled to sleep by the sound of the surf. Gualala is a very small town, miles from anywhere but boasts a couple of supermarkets, a few restaurants, craft shop and a fascinating New-Age shop. The residents are very friendly and we were made to feel very welcome.
The following morning a group of us went to the Sandpiper, later referred to as the Greasy Spoon for breakfast. It actually wasn't greasy at all and the food was very good. We were well into our breakfasts when we suddenly noticed Gary sitting at a table nearby. We were all looking forward to meeting him but we hadn't expected him to come to meet us!!
We had a free day to explore and generally unwind after the flight and then on Tuesday morning I watched the seals playing on the sand dunes before we piled into the cars and were off to Gary's home at Sea Ranch.
He lives in a lovely elevated wooden house with magnificent views. He has a large sitting room which easily accommodated all 15 of us. Gary is delightful and, right from the start, made us all feel very welcome.
He began by saying "this is my kind of workshop, 12 women and 3 men and if I had my way we would get rid of the men".
During the four day Workshop he took us through:
Tearless Trauma Technique
Building your own business
He also covered - amongst other things:
a. the importance of Pre-Framing both with clients and during Presentations
b. working with Allergies
c. how to give good Presentations
d. Building up a Business and business sense
e. Do's and Dont's of working with groups
He worked with a number of us on our own issues, some of which were filmed for a future tape/CD he intends to produce. Whilst working with us individually, the rest of the group worked on their own issues using the Borrowing Benefits Technique.
The following account is my personal interpretation and my memories of the Workshop. Much of it was experiential and thus it is difficult to convey onto paper or on the computer screen. There is always a big difference between obtaining information second or third hand and experiencing it directly.
The group of 15 people who attended the Workshop were all experienced EFT'ers and a thorough knowledge of EFT was a prerequisite for the Workshop. If anyone is reading this who does not have a knowledge of EFT i.e. has not worked through the manual then I would suggest they do this before employing any of the techniques or short cuts described in this report. A friend of mine was saying the other day that she thinks this is becoming more and more of an issue. People tend to read a friend's comments about EFT or someone shows them the basic recipe and they never read the manual, never read any other background material, never see the videotapes which the manual supports, never see a therapist so they have a "sense" of how it works when done by a truly skilled professional. And yet they think they "know" EFT and are surprised when they don't obtain results.
Gary, as we all know, is a very caring, sharing person and encourages us to spread the word. His workshops are inexpensive and he has lots of information and free downloads on his site www.emofree.com as has this website.
Gary began by asking us about our dreams, saying that clients easily pick up on who we are, our missions and motivations. He referred to the Palace of Possibilities and said that all dreams, whether they come true or not, take us in different directions, the more intense the dream the nearer we get to the goal. We all tend to consult the writings on our walls - see the Palace of Possibilities. http://www.emofree.com/palaceof.htm Dreams take you in different directions, they are more intense forms of distant thoughts. "My constant thoughts become my reality".
He then proceeded to show us how to change our dreams, working on the "yes but's" first. For example "yes, but my mother said I would never make it", "yes, but it would mean I would have to work 18 hours a day" etc. We can use this method with relationships, work issues, anything at all. TAPPING POINTS
Gary said that maybe, and he doesn't really have the total answer to this, it doesn't matter where or how you tap, that it could be less important than finding the real issue. Looking at EFT, Tapas Acupressure Technique [TAT] and Be Set Free Fast [BSFF] - there is nothing really unique about any of them. The REAL skill is tapping into the real issue and that it is the skill of the practitioner that makes the tapping more effective. He says, as you will see later, that "Sometimes a phrase is too global i.e. "my father abused me" is not specific enough" this can sometimes be why newcomers to EFT don't have the success they expect.
It was interesting to note that, generally, the tapping points which Gary uses are:
KC for the Set-up Statement instead of the sore / tender spot then:
Top of the Head
He occasionally uses the finger points but not as a matter of course.
Gary then showed us an excellent film called Rudy which was about a guy called Rudy Rutiger who lived in a steelmill town. Rudy badly wanted to play football for Notre Dame, a private and expensive Catholic College in the US. The film is all about football but illustrates just what is possible if we live our "dream". The problem with Rudy was that he was very small, had no talent, no money, no contacts, he graduated 3rd in class - third from the bottom (a straight A student he was not), so not a lot going for him there!!! What he does have though is an intense dream. There is a classic scene between Rudy and his father which illustrates the "writings on the walls" well. Rudy's father tells him that he will never make it, "those sort of things are not for the likes of us my boy".
Rudy is not deterred, he lives his dream and, despite all odds, finally plays for Notre Dame.
Gary illustrated the point with a story of his own, about his one of his own dreams.
One of the things Gary suggested was that if your client has had some "really" bad experiences and they are traumatised it is better to approach the problem gradually. Think of the problem as a series of circles, the larger ones on the outside and gradually getting smaller with the core issue in the middle. Start by working on the global issue, maybe a set-up statement something like "even though I have had some bad experiences" rather than being specific at this stage. Then gradually move inwards through the circles becoming more specific as you move towards the core issue. You have, of course, to be guided by your client.
THE TEARLESS TRAUMA TECHNIQUE
Here is what Gary says with my comment interspersed between 2 and 3:
”Please note that this method is NOT limited to addressing trauma in a group. The exact same technique could be (perhaps should be) used quite effectively in one-to-one individual sessions. Here are the steps:
1. Ask the participants to identify a specific traumatic incident from their past. Ask that it be at least 3 years ago to minimize any complications from the dynamics of a current event. An example might be, "the time my father punched me when I was 12." By contrast, the phrase "my father abused me" would be too broad because, chances are, the abuse took place over many, many incidents. Please note that you may need to instruct the clients to stay on their original issue because many of them will shift to other issues as they resolve the original one.
2. Ask the participants to GUESS at what their emotional intensity would be (on a 0-10 scale) IF they were to vividly imagine the incident. Instruct them NOT to actually imagine it (although some will close their eyes and do this anyway). This GUESS is a surprisingly useful estimate...and...it serves to minimize emotional pain. Have them write their GUESSES down and then go around the room having them state their number. This gives you a good feel for various participants' intensity.
*** My comment: I find that most people tend to close their eyes if you ask them to GUESS and they will, as Gary says, inevitably, access the traumatic incident. It might help to stop this happening if you say something like, "now, in a minute, I am going to ask you a question and I would like you to put your conscious mind out of the way for a while and let your subconscious answer the question. This means that you give me the first number that comes into your head immediately after I ask the question. Don't take time or try to analyse it, you can do that later."
Then go ahead and ask, "IF you were to vividly imagine the event what would the emotional intensity be?". ***
3. “Have the participants develop a phrase to use for the EFT process such as "this father-punch emotion" and then proceed with a round of tapping.
4. After this round of tapping, ask them to GUESS again and go around the room asking them to state their new number. Typically, they report noticeably smaller numbers.
5. Perform more rounds of EFT (or your favorite tapping procedure) and go around the room each time asking for their new numbers. In my experience, a total of 3 or 4 rounds will bring just about everyone down to GUESSES of 0 to 3.
6. Once everyone is down to acceptably low GUESSES, then perform another round of tapping and, after this round, ask them to vividly imagine the incident. Notice that this is the first time you are asking them to do this. All previous times have been relatively painless GUESSES. In my experience, just about everyone goes to zero and the rest are at very low numbers. If there is an exception or two, then work with them individually to complete the process.”
RE-FRAMING, PRE-FRAMING & THE GOLD AMONGST THE GARBAGE:
Gary said that it can be useful to re-frame some pre-conceived ideas people may have about EFT. This is very useful when working with groups and even with individual clients. Pre-empt their questions. Talk about how some people think EFT is woo-woo, particularly new clients - build bridges. A nice way to describe EFT is to tell them it is an emotional version of acupuncture.
Mention any research you know about -
He mentioned how useful pre-framing is, i.e. paving the way to success. He sometimes says things like, "I am just going to say things to you which may or may not be right or appropriate, in fact, I am guessing some of the time, but we might just find some Gold Amongst The Garbage". He stresses to let the questions come through you and not from you. Trust your intuition even if it is sometimes wrong. The more you trust, the more accurate it can become. When you are re-framing you are correcting blocks for Psychological Reversal. Test your work frequently throughout a session.
Note: I do a lot of pre-framing, or seeding as I call it, with clients. It is something I learnt when I was training to be a hypnotherapist. One thing which I found helpful, after I have completed my intake form and have an idea of the problem, is to tell my client a story of a similar case, maybe changing the sex of the client I am describing and obviously not naming any names to protect their anonimity. I then go on to tell how much EFT helped them and in what way. The client usually goes on a trans-derivational search to make sense of the story in their own world, applying it to their own problem and, in so doing, paving the way for a successful conclusion to the therapy.
MATCHING / MIRRORING
Gary suggested matching [ mirroring ] the posture of your client and he said that then MAYBE you get a better insight into where they are coming from and what they are thinking. Match their breathing and even eye blinking but don't get too caught up in it so that you are in danger of losing the thread of your work. Tune into the person and therapy will follow.
Note: This is an NLP technique where you unobtrusively mirror the posture of your client. Whatever happens, it must not be obvious to your client that you are doing this. If anyone doesn't know how to do this then a search on the web might throw up some information.
Gary said to say to your client that the way to do what you want to do already exists, it is just that you don't know what it is yet and he suggested some good standard questions to use to get to the core issue. For instance, if your client is talking about something which seems irrelevant or out of place i.e. talking about "Suzie" in the workplace and how they don't see eye to eye, maybe, Suzie will remind them of someone else so here you can say here "what [or who] does that remind you of?" The answer maybe "my mother when she was having one of her bad days". BINGO - go look for how that made your client feel, what happened etc.
With pain: "What does that remind you of? "When was the first time you had that pain?" "What was going on at the time?" "If there was an emotional contributor to that pain, what would it be?" If the answer here is "I don't know", say, "just guess" and you will, more times than not, get an answer. When a client is not sure what to work on you can say, "If you had your life to live over again, what person or event would you as soon skip?" When you have an answer then you have something to work with.
When something is not working it is probably because you have not uncovered the specific event so break it down into smaller chunks. "Even though I have this emotional issue but I am not sure what it is yet" is generalised tapping and often when the client completes a round or a couple of rounds something will come into his/her mind. When you have worked with that give the client 30 seconds to think of how many other events crop up which are related or similar. Get the overall SUDS and tap. Often all the related events will collapse at one time.
I am going to give Gary's "take" on advertising below. It is reproduced from his post to Emofree . There are some additional comments from the Advanced Workshop
ADVERTISING & DEVELOPING YOUR BUSINESS
This article should help you do business with EFT.
I am about to launch a major advertising campaign which should be of value to not only EFT'ers but also to those using/promoting other energy related techniques. With appropriate advertising the word will spread much more quickly and this will hasten the day when the "tapping techniques" will become a household word. Everyone benefits when this happens because it creates a larger base of users that share a common conviction.
The first ad will appear in the next issue of the Psychotherapy Networker. For your perusal and study, I am including the text at the end of this article. If you prefer, you can see an exact copy of the ad (including the layout, photo, etc.) by clicking on the following link...
You are welcome to print it out and give copies to friends and clients. It may prove to be a worthwhile interest getter. You are also encouraged to
borrow any of the phraseology for use in your own advertising.
Please note that the above is a pdf file and thus you must have Adobe Acrobat Reader installed on your computer to view it. If you don't already have this
reader, you can download it for free at http://www.adobe.com
Let me walk you through the lead-in to this ad so we can "take it apart" and thus view some of the business logic behind it.
First, please note that my biggest challenge here is to make this strange process believable to an audience of skeptics (to date, over 95% of the
therapists reading this magazine have little or no exposure to EFT). Since the headline is the all-important doorway to any ad, I simply must use it to
set the stage AND provide believability.
Here's the headline...
STANFORD ENGINEER BRINGS EINSTEIN'S DISCOVERIES TO PSYCHOTHERAPY.
Let's take it apart.
First, I used the term STANFORD ENGINEER because (1) the Stanford name exudes authority, (2) the term plays upon the widely accepted notion that many
scientific advances come from outsiders to the field and (3) it portrays me as someone....an engineer....who can properly comment on Einstein's discoveries.
Next, I borrowed Einstein's name because there is no more believable authority in the world than Albert Einstein. His discoveries represent the
foundation of all modern physics and, to my knowledge, no-one disagrees with him. In the public perception...if Einstein says something, it is true.
So...since Einstein's most famous discovery is that all things (including our bodies) is made of energy, this provides a natural lead-in to our energy
Now, look at the first 3 paragraphs. They build a bridge from the headline to the our topic. They are designed to move the reader from our headline to:
"a major oversight in the field of emotional healing"
"everything (including our bodies) is composed of energy"
"energy related procedures have now been clinically demonstrated thousands of times to dramatically reduce the sting of traumatic memories, grief,
anger, phobias and almost any emotional ailment you can name"
The rest of the ad points to the many advantages of EFT and, most importantly, the necessity to visit our web site. This is the ultimate goal of the ad. If readers don't visit our web site, then the ad fails.
Two items of importance about ads are...
1. ALL ADS ARE EXPERIMENTS...including this one. I will never know how well it "pulls" until after it has run. After that I can assess its
effectiveness and adjust it accordingly.
2. It doesn't matter whether or not you like the ad. THE ONLY MEASURE OF A GOOD AD IS HOW WELL THE PUBLIC RESPONDS TO IT. In the case of this ad, I
will be monitoring the activity on our web site both before and after the ad has run. The extra traffic we receive will be my evidence of the ad's
I hope this helps. As promised, the text of the ad follows.
P.S. Gratitude is due to all those that contributed a spread-the-word-gift when ordering our video sets on CD. They have enabled the original launching
of this ad campaign. The total amount contributed to date is over $12,000. If you wish to make a spread-the-word-gift just send a check or money order
P.O. Box 1393
Gualala, CA 95445
A Stanford engineer brings Einstein's discoveries to psychotherapy
New doors open as free and almost free materials provide quality training in Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT).
(It often works where nothing else will)
There has been a major oversight in the field of emotional healing.Over 70 years ago Einstein brought us his famous equation E=mc2.. Simply stated this means that everything (including our bodies) is composed of energy. This is so widely accepted that not one scientist on the planet disagrees with it.
Until recently, however, it has gone unnoticed by the psychotherapy profession. This is true even though energy related procedures have now been
clinically demonstrated thousands of times to dramatically reduce the sting of traumatic memories, grief, anger, phobias and almost any emotional ailment
you can name (see www.emofree.com ).
Further, it is usually rapid, long lasting and relatively gentle. It often works where nothing else will.Success rates
Let me hasten to add that these new procedures don't do everything for everyone. Unless you truly master them, you will fail at least 20% of the
time. However, newcomers that use only the mechanics of the process achieve either noticeable improvement or complete cessation of the problem
about 50% of the time.
Those who master the art of delivery enjoy this type of success over 80% of the time even on such intense issues as PTSD,
phobias, rape and grief.The underlying idea here is that your clients aren mentally locked. Rather they are energy blocked. This refreshing way of viewing the
human system suggests that an important cause of emotional problems can be found in the disruption of the subtle energies that are known to circulate
throughout our bodies.
We find repeatedly that properly stimulating these subtle energies (by tapping on them with our fingertips) results in new
levels of emotional freedom. That's why we call the procedure Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT for short).Interestingly, our results aren't limited to emotional issues. As you can appreciate, bringing relief to someone's anger, fear or trauma also
brings relief to physical ailments.
Along these lines, I have personally used these techniques to relieve people's headaches (even migraines), carpal tunnel, lactose intolerance, joint pain, stomach disorders, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, heart arrhythmia, high blood pressure, asthma and over 100 other physical ailments.
Visit our web site at www.emofree.com and you will find an endless list of successes ranging from back pain to fibromyalgia. They are written mostly by your
professional peers and their clients. We also have successes with anxiety, depression and abuse. In addition, the true masters of EFT report impressive results with addictions, overweight and even psychotic problems.
EFT is affordable to learn
Fortunately, it is both easy and low cost to add EFT to your people helping toolbox. Go to our web site and you will find a list of free and almost free stuff. This includes the completely free 79 page EFT Manual that you can download. It contains all the theory and the mechanics of EFT.
You can also listen in on our free EFT email support list and receive recent case histories, tips, hints, how-to's and other useful support.
There's also a Newcomer's package that I will send to you on an Honor System Payment basis (you can choose to either pay $15 or more OR return it). It contains a set of 3 videos (about 1 hour each) on CD that play on your computer. These show EFT in action on such issues as rape trauma, shoulder pain, driving phobia, improved golf score, mouse/rat phobia chocolate cravings AND an hour long video showing the use of EFT on PTSD with a group of hospitalized war veterans at the Los Angeles Veterans Administration. There is also a video that gives you a personal experience with EFT by walking you through the process on a bothersome memory of your own.
The above will get you started. After that, if you want complete professional training you can order our low-cost advanced training videos. Workshops are also available around the world. You can view listings for them on our web site and you can even list your own. No charge.
As should be clear by now, this ad is part of a mission to bring these procedures to your attention. That is why there is so much free info on our web site and it is also why learning EFT in a quality way is so affordable. It is satisfying beyond words to know that thousands are getting impressive relief every day by using these procedures. It' s what makes my motor run nowadays.With great respect for all that you do,
Gary Craig, Founder, EFT
P.S. If you choose to use EFT you can list yourself for free on the Find an EFT Practitioner section of our web site (it is
visited over 6,000 times per month by prospective clients).
BACK AT SEA RANCH......
Gary suggested that the main points to consider when writing an advertisement are: The punchline / headline must be up front - i.e. "Schedule Your Free Phone Coaching Session".
You are pointing out what YOU can do for THEM. "Initial Consultations Free of Charge" - "Free Brochure". Everyone likes something that is Free!!! "EFT Often Works When Nothing Else Does", "You Are In Charge With EFT "I've had great success with ..............".
You can insert PTSD, Old and Recent Traumas, Phobias, Accident, Anxiety and Depression, Pain Management or whatever. It Make it stand out by putting whatever is your specialty in capital letters.
Always use First Person Language. "Here is a way I can help you" and not "She can help to by ......etc"
Ask a question: "Do You Need........" "Do you need help with ....... [insert problem]......?"
WORKSHOPS AND PRESENTATIONS
Gary said that the main feature of a good presentation is pre-framing which I mentioned earlier. People come along with expectations so tell them what to
expect. Pre-empt their questions in a pre-frame so they won't need to bring it up during the presentation.
They may be likely to bring up the following:
Q. "Well, I think it all sounds very weird".
Pre-frame. "This tapping may seem like woo woo if you have never come across it before but ....."
Note: Here is a good place to interject with a story to make sure that you keep the
interest of your audience e.g. "I remember I had a client once who nearly fell off his chair laughing when I described the tapping to him.....etc. but he was
willing to try anything and .....".
Try and use stories about your own personal experiences by, if not, second hand experiences are better than
Other pre-frames could be:
"You may find some new approaches".
"I am not sure how you might take this but my perception is..."
"In most cases your doctor won't have told you about it because he won't have
heard of it himself."
"There has been some research done..........." Fill in a little about current research if you can here but if you don't know just mention that you are aware
of it and direct anyone who is interested to www.emofree.com
In the case of pain: "I don't know what the results will be when I guide you through this tapping process but if we get a 20% reduction it would be good and
30% would be even better". Note that the above can be used with groups or individuals.
You need to build bridges, particularly with people new to MT's. They may think EFT is woo woo and won't have any "Writings on Their Walls" to link it
to. It is useful to watch other people but they may very well think, "oh, well, it works for others but not me". They need to have a personal "ah ha",
they need that experience. There is no substitute for personal experience
During the course of a Presentation it is a good idea to cover physical pain, Tearless Trauma Technique on an emotional issue and addictions. This
practically guarantees that all participants will experience some change in themselves.
Exercise with the whole audience:
Tell the audience to pick out some physical discomfort they are experiencing - breathing, sinus, headache, backache, anything at all. Even tell them to
choose something they think impossible because either they have seen x-rays or the doctor has told them it probably won't improve. Not that we are
guaranteeing the impossible but we don't want to limit ourselves here and, of
course, sometimes the impossible can happen.
Try to choose something in the "now", if not work on a movement - how easy is it for them to move their neck, body, touch toes - work on a before and after.
Almost everyone in the audience will have a physical problem of some kind.
Gary suggested that a good demonstratation to use with a group is an addiction to chocolate. Pass out pieces of chocolate or let them work on their own
addiction using their own substance i.e. cigarettes. Tell them to open the chocolate and smell it.
"Even though I have the yum yums for this chocolate", "even though I want to eat this chocolate right now".
Then tap on whatever phrase they come up with, they not all may be the same. After a
round or a few rounds of tapping sometimes people notice a change in the taste.
You may hear "it tastes chemically." "It doesn't taste sweet anymore". If the SUDS level goes up or stays the same there are other emotional issues
around it which need to be dealt with.
Tap on the Emotional Issues
Whatever they are doing it is the best solution or the only solution they know.
You can tap on the immediate cravings but you also need to tap on the emotional issues surrounding the addictions for it to be resolved.
Gary told a story of a lady in Arizona who was tapping for "doughnuts" and her SUDS level of 8 went up to a 9 or 10. Gary took her aside and asked, "what do
those doughnuts remind you of?"
She said, "My mother, it was the only way she
could show that she loved us." They then tapped for "Mother's love".
If you are tapping on an allergy
1. When did you first notice it?
2. Anything emotional happening/occurring at the time or up to two years before
A phobia can be a metaphor for something i.e. if the SUDS level for a fear of heights doesn't shift, then maybe some past event needs clearing. "And what
does that remind you of?" This can be a useful question here and open the door to the real problem.
We were all truly sorry when Friday afternoon arrived and we had to say "goodbye".
If you ever get the chance to work with him - jump at it - there is just no-one like Gary.
Some of our group left Gualala for San Francisco immediately after the Workshop, others, myself included, travelled back to San Francisco the following day. We visited Muir woods on the way back and spent our last night in San Francisco before some of the group went their own separate ways and the rest of us flew home to the UK
“Therapies and techniques may come and go but EFT will go on forever.”
Founder Member, Director & Trainer, Association for Meridian Therapies