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The Love Clinic: Top Tips On Love From Sandra Hillawi
Sandra Hillawi’s revolutionary new book The Love Clinic, solving our relationship problems to create more love in our lives, explains to us how all emotions arise from states of flow or blockage in the body’s subtle energy system. This is where we process and handle the energies of life: what people say and do to us, what we experience; all this energy at the most fundamental level. Love, joy, happiness, rapture, clarity, understanding, compassion all come from flow states in our energy system. Life happens, we experience it within, digest it, learn from it and let it go enjoying the process with thrills of delight and warmth spreading through the body for our positive emotions.
Added Aug 1, 2008 | 6,208 Reads
Anger, frustration, hurt, fear, anxiety, sadness, jealousy, neediness etc all come from disruption to energy flow. Life energies come into our experience and build up as we can’t always handle them well. We feel these emotions as physical pain or pressure in the stomach, chest, the heart, the neck, the head accompanying the negative emotions.
This revelation that its all energy now gives us the simplest and most elegant ways to transform our negative emotional energy back to flow states. We simply notice where it hurts, where the pressure is, and we use our intention for this energy to soften and flow. We then just watch and feel as the energy releases and flows through the body, thus creating flow states of more love and happiness. Out goes conventional psychology. Today it’s all about energy. Is the energy of life flowing in through and out or is it blocked?
Improving Bad Relationships
He Doesn’t Pay Me Attention
As much as we need nutrients from the food on our table we all need attention as a kind of energy nourishment for the spirit. When we receive it, we feel good emotionally and this is a pleasant physical sensation too. When it’s not there, we are hungry for it. But the hunger comes from a deficiency, which we can feel in the body. When you think ‘he’s not giving me that attention’ pay attention to where the uncomfortable feeling of need is located in your body. This is where your own energetic nutritional deficiency is. Simply pay attention to this place in your body, think of the energy softening and flowing, observe where it spreads and releases to. Now check again about the lack of attention. Now you feel less hungry for his attention as your own energy is flowing better. He will pick up on this change energetically. Where he felt your need before which was difficult for him to handle and respond to, he will now feel you are more relaxed which will make it easier for him to adjust his behaviour to you too.
I Can’t Handle His Stress
When a person is stressed there is a build up of pressure inside from the energies of life not being processed as well as they could be in our energy body. Words and actions arising from our partner’s stressed state can be difficult to handle themselves. If you pay attention to your body, you will feel exactly where that difficult and uncomfortable feeling is in you when you are handling this stress. This disruption in your own energy flow can be healed. Pay attention to where it hurts you. Think of the energy softening and flowing and feel where it releases in your body. When you have restored your own energy flow, you will be able to handle his stress. What’s more, you will be able to understand what he’s going through, be more compassionate. Your ability to handle his stress is actually a pathway for his stress to diffuse. Your non acceptance only perpetuates the status quo.
His Words Hurt
This pain is physical as well as emotional. You can feel in the body where the pain, in response to his words, is actually located yet there is nothing wrong physically. This is an energetic injury in your own energy system that you can heal quite easily. Pay attention to the physical pain from these words, think of this energy softening. Follow the sensations in your body as the energy flows and releases. Now notice how much less these same words hurt you now. Think of those words again. Any remaining traces of energy disturbance can be softened and flow restored completely until you are relaxed and it doesn’t matter anymore. When you are hurt you are more likely to respond with anger or with-hold affection in some way. Healing your own energy system and restoring your own energy flow allows you to let it go and move on, to be able to express how you feel clearly without anger and work on building understanding and connection.
We’re Always Rowing
All that is needed for a relationship to change is for one person to change then the dynamic changes. Examine what words and behaviours your partner says and does that creates a painful or uncomfortable response in you, which currently make you angry, retaliate or interrupt. Locate that discomfort in your body. You can heal this energetic injury by simply paying it some attention, and having the intention for it to soften and to flow. When the energy releases through and out of your body you will find that you can handle those words and behaviours much better. What caused you pain before can even strengthen you and you get new perspective on what you’re hearing. This allows you to begin to really listen to your partner. Your partner then starts to be accepted and heard. From your new understanding you can recognise what’s going on for your partner. Tell them. Your partner feels understood and appreciated, which releases their own inner tension and your connection is restored. The key ? Attentive listening, absorbing, digesting, letting go of their energy, followed by giving recognition and appreciation.
He Loves Me But I Don’t Feel Loved
We feel love and all other emotions as actual sensations in our physical body in response to kind words, attention and actions from our family and friends. In order to feel, we have to be open and to be able to accept those attentions, to let this energy in. For many reasons, many of us have disconnected from life. After a painful past, we made a decision to close down, to not let life or anyone in anymore, as it hurt too much. These barriers are real energetic defences that keep all kinds of other energies of life out. Life is ok, but we are numb. We are disconnected. We don’t get the pain anymore, but neither do we get the highs of life. We can learn to heal what once went wrong in our energy system, release the past events that are still stored as energetic injuries behind those defences, and we can safely and gradually learn to open up again to life, and to feel love and joy once more. This is absolutely possible and can happen more easily than you can imagine. I recommend reading The Love Clinic for inspiring examples of how people have healed in these situations and seeking the support and facilitation of an EMO Practitioner.
He Broke My Heart, I Can’t Trust Him Again
In our relationships we dare to open up our hearts, let someone in and we feel the flow of love through us and we enjoy intimate connection with another person. This makes us very open to whatever happens in our relationships. Events can sometimes occur which hurt us so deeply, we close down to protect ourselves from feeling these injuries in our energy system. To trust again would mean to open our heart again and let someone in, but we fear the pain. We can trust again but first we have to heal the injury to our energy heart. Take some time out to pay attention to those physical pains in your heart area that you feel as you remember what happened. Place your hands over your heart and with all the love and care to yourself, have the intention for this pain to heal. As you hold this intention, and keep your focus there, the energy blocked there will start to soften and to flow again. Be patient with yourself. Give your self some time to do this. If you need help, seek the support of an EMO Practitioner. When this energetic injury is healed and all the energy of this past event has released it will be safe to open up again. You will be able to speak about this to your partner without the pain and from the new clarity will be able to see how you want to go forward. Opening up and trusting again is absolutely possible and essential to the continuation and deepening of any relationship.
Added Aug 1, 2008 | 6,208 Reads