Working on Goals with EFT

It has been well documented that we can work on removing obstacles towards goals with EFT by tapping on and "collapsing" each particular obstacle towards those goals, as we become aware of them. We can also work generally on "possible obstacles" if we are not aware of what might be obstructing our success in this endeavor.


Working on Goals with EFT


From the book FREE TO BE HAPPY with Energy Psychology by Robert Elias Najemy
(Also titled Remove Pain with Energy Psychology)

It has been well documented that we can work on removing obstacles towards goals with EFT by tapping on and "collapsing" each particular obstacle towards those goals, as we become aware of them. We can also work generally on "possible obstacles" if we are not aware of what might be obstructing our success in this endeavor.

We might be talking about any goals on any level. Some examples might be:

1. Health
2. A harmonious love relationship
3. Financial security
4. Professional satisfaction
5. Dietary discipline
6. Losing weight
7. Self-acceptance
8. Loving others as they are
9. Athletic achievement
10. Mental development
11. Concentration
12. Increased creative ability
13. Learning a language
14. Public speaking
15. Happiness
16. Peace
17. Thought-free meditation
18. Total honesty
a. Better grades at school
b. More effective communication
c. Overcoming the pain of the loss of a loved one.
Many other possibilities ________________________________________________

A. Focusing on our goal

We can start by making a list of our goals.

Some of my present goals are:
1. _____________________________________________________________
2. _____________________________________________________________
3. _____________________________________________________________
4. _____________________________________________________________
5. _____________________________________________________________

The first goal I would like to work on is: _____________________________

B. Now, we look for the possible obstacles

1. A good possible way to discover our specific obstacles is to do a relaxation technique and:

a. Think about the fact that we have not yet achieved our goal and discover how we feel about not having done so yet. If we find that we have negative emotions about not having succeeded yet, we will need to employ EFT for these emotions as described below in the section on becoming satisfied with ourselves as we are.

b. Then, we imagine ourselves making the effort towards that goal and see how we feel about making that effort. (Do we enjoy it, or do we feel suppressed, fearful or discouraged? Do we feel that it is in vain to make this effort ? because we will never succeed?)

If we find we have resistance towards this effort, then we will need to employ EFT for those emotions and beliefs, which make the effort itself difficult or unpleasant.

c. Now, we imagine ourselves having succeeded in this effort and see how we feel now that this is not an issue any more.

If we cannot even imagine ourselves successful, then we need to work on anything that might be obstructing that.

If, on the other hand, we can imagine success but feel that we are in some type of danger or might lose something else because of it, then we need to work on those emotions and beliefs, which subconsciously cause us to undermine our success. Refer to some of the possibilities mentioned below.

In our search for obstacles we may want to consider the following possibilities:

2. A part of me (perhaps subconsciously) might feel that in relation to this goal:

a. I do not deserve to have it or fulfil this goal
b. I cannot have or manifest this goal.
c. I am in some type of danger if I fulfill this goal.
d. I am not capable of fulfilling this goal.
e. Others do not want me to have or fulfill it. I do not want to hurt them or come into conflict with them.
f. I will lose others? love if I succeed or fulfill this goal.
g. I will not be a spiritual person if I have this or fulfill this goal.
h. I will feel guilty if I have this or fulfill this goal.
i. I will harm others if I fulfill this goal.
j. I am guilty and not worthy and I should not have or fulfill this goal.
k. Since I have not been able to have it until now, then I will not be able to fulfill this goal.
l. I will lose my freedom if I fulfill this goal.
m. I will lose my self-worth if I succeed here.
n. I might have to sacrifice some source of security in order to fulfill this goal.
o. I might give satisfaction to others - something which I do not want to do.
p. The others might cease feeling guilty about me.
q. I might lose my control over others.
r. My other desires will be unfulfilled if I have or fulfill this goal.
s. The effort to achieve this goal will be painful or unpleasant.
t. I do not have the necessary discipline to manifest this goal.
u. Other _________________________________________________________

3. Is there perhaps a part of me which is getting something from the role of being the victim or the "poor me" and thus subconsciously:
a. Feels that things should not go well for me.
b. I must experience injustice, failures and problems.

4. Are there possibly childhood experiences concerning this goal?
a. What did you hear from your environment about this particular goal? Is it easy, difficult, good, bad, right, wrong, for your family?
b. Did others in your childhood environment achieve this goal? Do you have a prototype for success at this?
c. What were others? perceptions of you as a child? (In regard to this issue or success, ability or self-worth in general)
d. What was your own perception of yourself as a child? (In regard to this issue or success, ability or self-worth in general)
e. Did anything else happen in your childhood years that might affect your perception of this issue?

5. How do you imagine those important to you will feel if you succeed or fail at this? How do you feel about how they might feel?

6. Do you perhaps have some type of inner conflict about this?


C. Here we list our obstacles
a. _____________________________________________________________
b. _____________________________________________________________
c. _____________________________________________________________
d. ______________________________________________________________
e. ______________________________________________________________
f. ____________________________________________________________

The Generalization Effect

This is a concept developed by Gary Craig, which explains a phenomenon we observe when working on any goal towards which we have some inner obstacles. Gary uses the metaphor of a forest in which we cannot see clearly because of all the trees. Each tree represents one obstacle or aspect that needs to be dealt with. We cannot cut them down all at once. By cutting them down one at a time we can begin to gradually clear the forest so that our perception becomes clearer. At some point in a miraculous way, all the trees seem to disappear as if we have addressed a common root system which brings them all down. We are then free to manifest that goal such as a steady and unshakable feeling of self-esteem regardless of what is happening around us.

When sharing Gary?s metaphor in a seminar setting one woman took exception to it, because she would prefer that we do not cut down trees. So I now use the following metaphor. We each live in a prison the bars of which are our various fears, beliefs, thoughts, expectations, superstitions and other emotions. When imprisoned by these limiting aspects of our mental and emotional being, we are not able to experience the inner states we desire (such as peace, self-esteem, self-confidence, love, happiness) or manifest goals such as economic or professional success or harmonious relationships.

Our first step as described in this chapter is to recognize what these bars are made up of. That is which emotions and or beliefs are obstructing our progress or inner state. These are the bars that need to be cut with the saw of EFT. When we have removed enough bars we begin to have enough space to move out of the prison, at least in some particular directions. After some time it seems that since we are able to move out of the prison all the other bars are irrelevant and have no hold over us. They are meaningless.

Chose whichever metaphor suits you. The message is that if we have 100 obstacles or aspects impeding our desired inner state or external goal, it is very likely that we will succeed after having performed EFT on only 10 to 20 of them.

Thus in the following chapter, we are presenting methods for recognizing the trees or bars and removing them for greater peace, health and happiness.

D. We employ EFT on each obstacle separately

1. For emotions we have concerning the fact that we have not yet succeed. (Perhaps shame, failure, self-rejection, disappointment, injustice or anger etc.)

A.1. Even though I feel ______ about the fact that I have not yet been able to _______, I deeply and profoundly love myself.
or
A.2. Even though until now I have felt ______ about the fact that I have not yet been able to _______, I am now actualizing (succeeding, manifesting) it.

B. I chose (want, deserve, realize that it is in my benefit) to be free of this _______ (emotion)

C. Reminder phrase: (The emotion) _______ concerning ______(fact of not having yet succeeded)

2. Concerning our ability to manifest this goal.

There will be times when we have discovered specific obstacles and will word our phrases according to those specific obstacles.

At other times we will not know exactly what is preventing our success. In such cases we can work with phrase "this resistance" or "this possible resistance". Obviously in such a case we will not be able to evaluate the SUD, as we can when we have found specific emotion or belief obstructing our progress.
Thus when working with general - unknown forms or resistance- we should do around three rounds a day until we get results.

It is also very likely that while working on the general "suspected" obstacle, that we will then become aware of the specific emotions and beliefs that are obstructing us and will be able to work on them directly now with a specific SUD and get clearer results.

We would best work with the obstacles towards making the effort first and then towards accepting success.
There may be times when we will first need to remove the resistance towards the success before we can remove the obstacles towards the effort. Experiment and see which SUD is higher and work on that first.

We must also remember to use the phrases below frequently throughout the day for correcting possible psychological reversal even when not doing full rounds.

A.1. Even though I have not yet ______. I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself
Or
A.2. Even though it seems that I have some (this) obstacle towards ________, I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself
A.3. Even though I have not yet ________, I am now actualizing (succeeding, manifesting) it.
A.4. Even though I have this _______ (specific obstacle) towards ________, I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself
A.5. Even though I have this _______ (specific obstacle) towards ________, I am now actualizing (succeeding at, manifesting) it.
A.6. Even though I have this resistance towards making an effort towards ______. I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself.
A.7. Even though until now I have had this resistance towards making an effort towards ______. I am now enjoying directing my energy towards that which I really want.

B. I choose (want, deserve, accept) to now create __________ (the goal or make this effort ? depending on the resistance).

1. Reminder phrase: (The goal) (or obstacle to the goal)

Procedure for Overcoming goals to obstacles

A. We Focus on our goal

B. We look for the possible obstacles (Imagine self trying and succeeding)
1. Obstacles to making the effort
1. Obstacles to accepting success

C. We list our obstacles

D. We employ EFT on each obstacle separately


Intention - Practice - Sacrifice - Perseverance - Patience - Detachment

Working towards goals often requires these qualities:

1. Intention and Concentration on our goals means that we focus on them clearly and intensely (Without anxiety but with confidence that we will manifest them) and direct our energy, time, money and intelligence towards them.

2. Practice of EFT and all other techniques towards removing all internal and external obstacles.

3. Conscious Sacrifice in which we willingly, intelligently and lovingly sacrifice other possibly conflicting needs in order to achieve our goals.

4. Perseverance in our efforts towards those goals and in removing all obstacles.

5. Patience for the results to come.

6. Detachment from the results of our efforts and faith that the result will be whatever is best for our evolutionary process.

May you succeed in all of your goals.

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Robert Elias Najemy, a life coach for 30 years, has extensive experience in Energy Psychology. He has trained over 300 Life coaches and now does so over the Internet. Info at: http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/introholisticcoach.asp
He is the author of over 20 books, 600 articles and 400 lecture cassettes on Human Harmony. Download FREE 100's of articles, find wonderful ebooks, guidance and teleclasses at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com.
His books The Psychology of Happiness and Remove Pain with Energy Psychology are available at http://www.amazon.com
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