Working with Aspects of Emotions with EFT

Working with Aspects of Emotions with EFT

Robert Elias Najemy

As we work with EFT, we will often observe changes in our mental states regarding emotions, aspects and even in the events, situations and the issues themselves. In such cases, we might find it beneficial to flow with those changes addressing each obstacle as it appears. We must, however, always keep in mind the unresolved emotions, aspects and issues and return to check them and resolve them.

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Remember: We use two phrases when doing the set up.

The "A" phrase indicates our acknowledgement and acceptance of our present state. Otherwise our denial and / or rejection of our emotions might obstruct their transformation.

The "B" phrase indicates our intent and willingness to let go of that emotion and move on to alternative ways of perceiving, feeling and reacting.

1. We rub on the sore spot on one side (or tap the side of the hand) repeating phrase "A" three times.

As explained in the chapter on modifications, we are presenting you with two types of "A" set up phrases.

a. The first one is the traditional one which ends in "?., I deeply and profoundly love myself.

b. The second one puts the present condition in the past and states a new type of being, feeling and reacting in the present.
Also we remind you that you are free to alter these phrases in any ways which suit you.
Read that section on the set up phrases again if you are not clear on this.

B. Then we repeat phrase "B" three times while rubbing on the sore spot on the other side (or tapping on the side of the other hand).

1. Then we repeat the "C" reminder phrase while tapping on the 12 points.


I. Working Directly With the Chosen Emotion

We start out working directly on the emotion, which we would like to free ourselves from with the following set up.

A.1. Even though I feel (the emotion) _____________ when / because ___________ (stimulus), I deeply and profoundly love myself.
Or
A.2. Even though until now I felt (the emotion) _____________ when / because ___________ (stimulus), I now feel ___________ (the positive emotions or beliefs you would like to develop) ___________ and (describe here how you would like to feel, understand or react).

B. I choose (want, deserve, allow myself, accept, realize that it is in my benefit) to free myself (be free) from this (emotion) ______.

C. Reminder Phrase = (The emotion) because / when ____________.

II. Possible Aspects We Need to Look At

If, after completing three rounds, we do not get satisfactory results, we might want to check the following possible aspects.

1. Emotions which we have about the fact that we have this emotion (which we are now working on)

A.1. Even though I feel some _______(perhaps - guilt, shame, self-rejection, self-doubt, anger) because I have this (emotion we are working on) _____________ when / because ___________, I deeply and profoundly love myself.
Or
A.2. Even though until now I felt some _______(perhaps - guilt, shame, self-rejection, self-doubt, anger) because I had this (emotion we are working on) _____________ when / because ___________, I now realize that this is human and natural and accept and love myself as I am.

B. I choose (want, deserve, allow myself, accept, realize that it is in my benefit) to free myself (be free) from this (emotion) ________. (The one that we have because of the fact that we have the original emotion)

C. Reminder Phrase = (The emotion) _________. (The one that we have because of the fact that we have the original emotion)

2. Parallel Emotions or Emotions, which might be creating the original emotion.

(For example, anger and hate are usually secondary emotions which are caused by primary emotions such as fear, hurt, injustice, guilt, etc. In such a case, the primary emotions might need to be removed in order to free ourselves from the secondary emotions - i.e. anger)

A.1. Even though I feel some _______(perhaps - fear, guilt, shame, self-rejection, self-doubt, injustice) because / when ___________, I deeply and profoundly love myself.
Or
A.2. Even though until now I felt (the emotion) _____________ when / because ___________ (stimulus), I now feel (understand, realize, react) (describe here how you would like to feel, understand or react) ___________.

B. I choose (want, deserve, allow myself, accept, realize that it is in my benefit) to free myself (be free) from this (emotion) ________.

C. Reminder Phrase = (The Emotion) _________.

3. Resistance, which we might have about freeing ourselves from an emotion. (Psychological Reversal)

We need to work on each possible resistance separately.

Consider some of the possible beliefs, which might create resistance:

Beliefs and factors which may cause us
not to want to let go of a particular emotion.

a. I have felt this way a long time and do not know what it will be like to be without this emotion. It will be like losing an important part of myself or my life. (We have become attached or addicted to feeling this way. We have identified our being with this emotion).

b. I believe that I need this emotion in order to protect myself from others. (Possibly anger, depression, injustice or pain).

c. I will lose my power or control over others. (Perhaps anger, depression or dissatisfaction).

d. I will lose others? attention if I do not have this emotion.

e. I will lose my self-worth if I do not feel this way. (In particular, feeling victimized or angry from which we derive our feelings of goodness, righteousness and self-worth)

f. I will allow others freedom from feeling guilty or responsible about me. I will lose control over them.

g. I will need to take responsibility for my life.

h. In order to be good, I must feel guilt for what I have done. Thus I cannot accept feeling okay.

i. I will need to be happy - something which scares me.

j. I will have to recognize my self-worth - which also scares me.

In such cases of inner obstacles, we can use the following phrases:

A.1. Even though I fear letting go of this emotion, because _____ (type of resistance) ________________, I deeply and profoundly love myself.
or
A.2. Even though until now I have feared letting go of this emotion, because _____ (resistance) ________________, I realize now that I deserve to be totally happy and free and free from this (emotion) ________.

Note: If we sense we have some resistance but do not know what it is, then we can just say:

A.3. Even though I seem to have some resistance, towards letting go of this emotion, I deeply and profoundly love myself.

B. I choose (want, deserve, allow myself, accept, realize that it is in my benefit) to free myself from this (fear or resistance) ________.

4. Reminder Phrase = (The emotion or resistance) _________.

For more about resistance towards getting well, see the book the Psychology of Happiness or our web site http://www.HolisticHarmony.com.

4. Physical problems associated with emotions involved.

A.1. Even though I have this (physical phenomenon) ____________ in my (part of body) ___________, I deeply and profoundly love myself.


A.2. Even though until now I have had this (physical phenomenon) ____________ in my (part of body) ___________, I now am totally free from it.

B. I choose (want, deserve, allow myself, accept, realize that it is in my benefit) to free myself from this (physical phenomenon) ______ in my (part of body)_____.

C. Reminder Phrase = (physical phenomenon) in my (part of body)

5. Childhood experiences similar to this event which make us more susceptible.

A.1. Even though I feel (emotion) ____________ concerning what (name of person) _____ did ________(in childhood), I deeply and profoundly love myself.
Or
A.2. Even though until now I felt (emotion) ____________ concerning what (name of person) _____ (what happened in childhood) ________, I now accept and move beyond that which actually does no exist anymore.

B. I choose (want, deserve, allow myself, accept, realize that it is in my benefit) to free myself (be free) from this (emotion) ______.

D. Reminder Phrase = (The emotion) about (other person?s name and what he/she did)


Remember to always go back and check any unfinished aspects and especially the original stimulus and emotion.



Summary of Aspects when Working with Emotions

1. Work with the emotion itself.

Then is necessary work with the following if they appear.

2. Emotions which we have about the fact that we have this emotion (which we are now working on)

3. Parallel Emotions or Emotions, which might be creating the original emotion.

4. Resistance, which we might have about freeing ourselves from an emotion. (Psychological Reversal)

5. Physical problems associated with emotions involved.

6. Childhood experiences similar to this event which make us more susceptible.

Remember to always go back and check any unfinished aspects and especially the original stimulus and emotion.
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Robert Elias Najemy, a life coach with 30 years of experience, has created a Life Coach Training Course over the Internet. Info at: http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/introholisticcoach.asp
He is the author of over 20 books, 600 articles and 400 lecture cassettes on Human Harmony. Download FREE 100's of articles, find wonderful ebooks, guidance and teleclasses at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com.
His books The Psychology of Happiness and Remove Pain with Energy Psychology are available at http://www.amazon.com
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