Immortal Beloved (Beyond Bereavement)

> Do I miss people? Sure I do. I just remember that 
> sometimes I want my pain-I need my pain. It's an 
> affirmation that the transitioned person is still an 
> influence in my life. How else can I prove that they 
> have been so important. It's a matter of confusing 
> grief with loyalty. I cant and won't forget them, 
> therefore exercising loyalty, and I can CHOOSE to 
> experience serenity because grief isn't necessary to 
> remember them. 

Hi there,

and although I never ever want to tell folk what to feel, I would like to make the comment that when I "channelled" the energy healing for animals course and came to the last chapter entitled, Farewell To A Friend, something very interesting took place and I'd like to tell you about it.

I was doing the "stages of bereavement" energetically (I've also put this later into Advanced Patterns of EFT, because I thought *people* should hear about this too :-) and when I got to the last one which is classically described as "anniversary sadness flashes" I just SAW ...

... that there is one more step in the bereavement process that has been missed it seems completely.

That is when all the pain has gone and one is left with ENDLESS LOVE and TOTAL JOY for with and about the individual, can feel their presence and they are THERE in a whole new way.

It blew me away as I understood it and I called that state, THE IMMORTAL BELOVED.

This state IS the answer to loyalty, and to not wanting to forget, and to not having any holes left which ache - it is so much more than just an end to pain, it is breath-taking.

I remember at the time when I wrote that up, me and Nicola were absolutely and totally blown away by this in every way, and also about just how and why it could have possibly come to be that people DON'T KNOW ABOUT THE IMMORTAL BELOVED state at all! 

All these millions upon millions of psychologists, Samaritans, bereavement counsellors and religion guys daily USING the "stages of bereavement model" which has the final step, the actual AIM TARGET AND RESOLUTION deleted - and the best they have to work TOWARDS with their clients is - forgetting about it most of the time but having to expect "anniversary sadness flashes"?!?!?!?!

Talk about the wrong finishing line!

That is seriously like telling the guys at the start of a marathon race that that point where they are a mess, feel as though they're dying and in hell and their bodies are imploding on themselves - is WHY they are doing it! That's what they have to look forward to!

What happened to when you go BEYOND that state and into the next level, of running at this whole new level and in this totally OTHER way and then, actually crossing the finishing line, in a state of clarity and sensuous delight then and people cheering, champagne corks popping, flags waving, bands playing and that superb sense of pride and accomplishment, of victory and pure JOY that *really* is the outcome of having run a marathon?!?!?!?

Sweet Prophet Of Choice!!

And just like "Forgiveness" isn't something you do AT ALL but something that COMES INTO BEING as a result, an END STATE when all the pain has gone and a person is TRULY HEALED AND WHOLE, the Immortal Beloved state is not something you can give or get - it is what happens naturally as a result of there being no more pain, no more injury, and the energy system functioning at a WHOLE NEW LEVEL which would never have been arrived at - if it had NOT been for the preceding bereavement process!

And which is the ENTIRE POINT of loving others and making these intense connections with them in the first place!!!! Because it does that - you love, you lose, you do the bereavement process and then - YOU GET TO **BE IN LOVE** FOREVER! Because YOU HAVE LEARNED HOW TO LOVE!!!!!!! in that process - and of course, that motivates you to do it again, and again, and again, lifting you to whole new levels EACH AND EVERY TIME THAT PROCESS RUNS through its natural spiral turns, each time different, each time fresh and new, each time ADDING ANOTHER IMMORTAL BELOVED to YOURSELF - and by the time you die, there are FLIGHTS OF ANGELS carrying ***YOU*** TO YOUR REST!

Well, as I said, it really did blow me away and totally changed my understanding of not just death, but of love too, how it works, and where I've been going so terribly wrong before, and why.

But I do indeed believe that if more people knew about this simple thing - that missing lifting step in the bereavement spiral I called The Immortal Beloved - it would help them focus even in their darkest hours, provide a light at the end of the tunnel, something to move FORWARDS TOWARDS with volition and give them at least an alternative to doing what I've been doing, namely building altars made of pain "lest I forget".

SFx

Silvia Hartmann

First Posted To StarFields Newsgroup August 2003 - feel free to re-post!