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The Price of Perfect - An EMO Case Story
Using EMO and EFT techniques and concepts including 'guiding stars', Terry Lynch helps a client become aware of behaviour which had previously hindered personal relationships.
Read on for the full article...
EFT is a wonderful modality which gives our emotions a voice. Just the act of repeating clients' words in a set-up statement and having them say the words back often can become a moment of clarity for many of them.
Yet, often our clients come to us and our intuitions ask us to dig into our energetic tool chest and stay in the moment to guide them to the shifts they are looking for. Often, this can be achieved by drawing on the emotions that need a voice connected with the energy of that emotion in deeper ways. This can lead to shifts and turning points clients or clinicians weren’t even expecting.
The Importance of Guiding Stars
When working with clients, we can often see the disruption that trauma can cause because of the many different signs of stress they are experiencing.
Are we ready to see a guiding star when it is ‘star-ing’ right at us? It is a valid point to consider as the client may appear happy, in control, proud, and enjoying the energy of the good feeling a guiding star can create.
In this client session, a guiding star appeared, which from the age of five, affected the course of her relationships in life.
I met Clare whilst waiting for customer service at a popular computer repair centre.
I noticed her energy and seemingly lack of flow that manifested itself as a worn look on her face. We started speaking and she shared her despair over the departure of yet a second husband, who walked out on her and left her with a young son. “He was a good dad”, she said. When they were apart, she longed for him and when they were together, she knew it was not meant to be.
I offered her a session. She was a medical practitioner and felt an understanding of energy work would not only benefit her, but her clients, and possibly result in referrals from her office.
She told of these men and how she was so patient and calm with them. When they were angry, she was rational, clever, and endured their wrath. She would wait for them to calm down and try to steer them in a new direction, such as going out to dinner.
She saw their anger, tears, complaining, arguing, and insults as immature behaviour, and she considered her ability to remain calm a superior skill. She said this skill was essential for her medical practice when dealing with irate patients.
She smiled and expressed pride in her ability to remain calm under attack.
I asked her to describe this personality, specifically giving the qualities of the energy entity she would take when under attack.
Again she described this energy as calm, patient, clever, smart, intelligent, enduring, controlled, and strong. I asked her to name the energy entity she would take on and she called it “Perfect”. She expressed how much she loved and took pride in Perfect. She went on to describe she felt as if she had armour on, and no matter what insults or attacks she received, Perfect handled them with patience and calmness. She felt every professional when she was Perfect.
Speaking with “Perfect”
I asked her if we could speak directly to this energy entity “Perfect” and she agreed and chose a different area in the room and we spoke.
I observed Perfect’s posture was seemingly perfect yet stoic and robotic.
I thanked Perfect for coming and affirmed the entity by saying, “You are so important to Clare, you are amazing, thank you for being present.”
With assured calmness, Perfect responded, “I'm happy to show up!”
I asked, “When did you first come about for Clare, when did you first feel the need to be there for her. How old was she?”
Perfect responded, “I was five. I clearly remember. Clare’s dad was threatening her mom and was about to attack her in a physically violent way. Clare needed to be calm, there were two younger siblings that needed to be protected. I helped Clare get the children out of the area where her parents where fighting. I comforted Clare by telling her they (the parents) were immature and that by remaining calm, patient, and waiting the situation out, things would get better, and I was right!”
I said to this energy entity, “Wow, perfect, you helped Clare and kept her and her siblings safe from harm in that situation. Thank you.”
Then I continued, “How have you helped Clare in her life since then?”
Perfect responded, “I am there for her at work and show up when anyone gives her a hard time, that way she will not get hurt by anyone. I help her stay professional in all she does. People admire her and she gets feedback for staying perfect.”
I inquired, “What advice do you have for Clare now? Clare is no longer five and I see that you still feel the need to keep her safe.”
“She still needs me when people get out of control.” Perfect replied.
“You really do take care of her, Perfect,” I added, “What advice can you give Clare so that you can take a break, and she can be herself.”
“I can tell her to trust herself. She already knows a lot.”, said Perfect.
I ended the dialogue with the energy entity “Perfect” by saying, “Thank you for coming Perfect. I am so grateful to meet you.”
Back to Clare
Clare took back her original seat.
“What do you think of Perfect?” I questioned.
“I love Perfect,” she beamed. “I felt clever, bright, and much better than the behaviour my parents were exhibiting. I saved my siblings. I use Perfect with my patients at work all the time.”
I asked her if she could now recognise the energy of Perfect, or “the experience of the feeling of Perfect” in her body when it showed up (thus bringing in EMO for the “art of noticing” the energies in her body).
She said “yes” and said she did not recognise how strong Perfect was before.
I asked if she had noticed how even her voice had changed when the energy of Perfect was present and she responded, “absolutely, it was surprising how much I felt it.”
I asked Clare if she can recognise how Perfect has showed up in her relationships. She did recognise Perfect's involvement and reinforced how she loved Perfect for showing up when her relationships got difficult.
I asked her if this happens with all her relationships. She responded, “Yes.”
I told her that whilst Perfect has been keeping her safe, she is no longer 5 years old. Then I asked if she thought that because Perfect has kept her safe in relationships, that she has been kept from experiencing the needs of those around her in an authentic way.
Here she had a revelation and expressed, “All along I thought Perfect was amazing and kept me safe, but now I see that Perfect has actually interfered with my close relationships with not only men, but with my family as well.”
What a revelation! She exclaimed, “I have spent thousands of dollars on therapists and never understood why I was having difficulty maintaining relationships. This blows my mind. Wow!”
I told her that as an Energist, I look at the energy of things and not the story. Many therapists often try to work with the story and never, up until now, were able to take a look the energy disruptions in the energy body contributing to the issues showing up.
Lastly, I asked her if she understood how Perfect may create issues with her and her four-year-old. She nodded and said, “Yes, there are so few children that are good enough or behaved enough to play with my child, so I move on to other children. Now, I realise that was Perfect showing up. I am going to try to let go and allow him to play with his friends and not interfere as much.”
In this session, there is a guiding star in an energy entity called “Perfect”. This client did not recognise that what she thought was an energy protecting her and allowing her control over the irrational behaviour of others, actually contributed to the demise of many of her relationships when it did not allow her authentic self to connect on a deeper lever with others.
With the understanding of the experience of this energy in motion within, she now had the ability to call this energy forth when needed and not allow it to rule her life.
Recognising a guiding star and how it may be hindering a situation instead of guiding it, was key to this patient's understanding of why her relationships were not working as the true nature of who she is was being hidden.
Will Clare continue to evolve with the experience of "Perfect" into the space she is longing to be in? “Perfect” is such a strong and beloved trait for Clare. Will Clare evolve beyond Perfect?
Time will tell, but that is not the goal of this session. The goal of this session from an EMO point of view is to really understand and experience the energy of Perfect in the body, i.e., when it was present and when it wasn’t. What did it feel like?
This goal was met with her “aha moment”. She now has the awareness of the energies that she is experiencing and interacting with at any given moment despite how subtle they may seem when she was unaware of the currents flowing through her.
Now she realizes that “Perfect” is far from a subtle energy and has dominated her life since she was 5. And Perfect’s robotic nature has darkened her ability to really connect with those she loves when times get emotionally challenging.
True for any given client/patient interaction, there was a tremendous gift for this clinician.
This clinician knows “Perfect” too.
Phew...It’s Only Energy!
What aspects of this case do you agree with?
Which would you have handled differently?
What is a guiding star? Was the energy entity “Perfect” a guiding star as the author suggests?
What approach using EFT would you have taken here?
Are there areas of clarification or more depth that you would like to have seen?