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5 Tips On How To Ask A Guy Out

5 Tips On How To Ask A Guy Out

Wondering how to ask a guy out? Not sure what to say?

Asking someone out used to be considered “the man’s job” but these days anyone can now take the initiative, meaning you no longer have to wait to be approached.

Alex Kent, author of “The Energy of Attraction” and creator of the Energy Dating Coach program explains his top five tips for taking back the power and being proactive on choosing who you want in your life.

#1 Know that you can

Population Growth: New World, New You

In ye old days, it was considered unladylike for you to make the first move and ask a guy out, but now that thinking is as out-of-date as not getting to vote.

Human beings have evolved to live in small groups, which is why we naturally find it very risky to connect with others.

Yet the world we now live in is very different. We’ve got a rapidly expanding population of eight billion highly connected people, effective birth control methods and therefore need to adapt to the world around us, not some 18th century fantasy.

Asking someone out can be an absolutely daunting process - and that’s true for both men and women. Yet, through breakthroughs in our understanding of Modern Energy we can rewire ourselves to keep up with 21st century life.

It can take a lot of courage to ask a man out, but the rewards are totally worth it. You get to be the one who picks for a change.

That’s why my first tip is knowing that you can AND should ask a guy out!

#2 Warm up your social muscles first

Talk to everyone

The more social you’ve been through the day already, the easier you’ll find it to talk to him when it counts.

In the same way that sports professionals wouldn’t just jump out of bed and be at their peak performance, you should be “warming up” to be at your best and most confident.

Each time we have a meaningful interaction with another human being we get a little bit of an energy boost from it. That’s accumulates throughout your day, so make it your goal to chat to anyone and everyone.

When buying a coffee, ask how your server’s day has been.

See someone with a bit of style, stop them and say “Hey, I like your style - you look nice. Anyway, you have a nice day.”

When queuing, chat with those around you about anything and everything - the weather, the place you’re in, even the queue itself.

Oh and don’t think you should just be chatting to a very tight demographic, ie Male, age X to Y, skin colour Z, estimated wealth T, etc.

As social human beings, we get that energy boost from anyone we share a moment with.

#3 Do it because you want to

Why do you want the cake?

Take a piece of cake.

Do you want to eat the cake because you want to - or do you want it because you're afraid of someone else eating the cake, or the cake going away and there not being a better cake just round the corner?

We all have our energy levels that go up and down throughout the day. When we are in energy deficit, we’re socially anxious, desperate, make bad short-term decisions, think negative thoughts and often only take action to avoid a negative consequence.

When we are in energy surplus, we have positive thoughts, start to make longer term plans, work towards achieving goals - and take action because that’s what we really want.

Talking to a guy whilst being in energy surplus is much more attractive. He’ll be able to tell in your eyes, your posture, your smile and how you talk that you’re confident and someone he feels comfortable getting to know better.

  • There are lots of ways of increasing your energy levels, including being social throughout the day. See my “Energy of Attraction” book for almost magical methods that are super easy to learn.

#4 Avoid obsessions

Avoid obsessions

It’s easy to think and feel that one particular person is the answer to your prayers, like only he has the key to unlocking your happiness.

Yet this is a very unattractive place to talk to anyone and it puts a lot of pressure on his shoulders to fit the mould you’ve made for him.

This is likely to push him away.

Never put any man on a pedestal, otherwise you’ll raise them up so much that you’ll in turn become worthless to them. Or worse, someone to be used and cast aside.

You’re at your most attractive if he has to work to win your affections.

Yes you can pay him a compliment that is true and genuine to him (otherwise don’t say it!) but your energy should be such that there are a number of other guys out there that are equally worth your valuable attention.

#5 Tell him what you want

Tell him what you want

If you find him attractive and want to ask him out then just do it!

Yes, find out a bit about him first - make assumptions rather than questions - but if he does pass your tests and is worthy of you then make your intentions clear ASAP, such as:

“I like you, you like me. Would you like to go for a coffee sometime?”

Above all else, avoid being vague.

You’ve probably had this the other way round, when a guy is having a nice friendly conversation with you and you have absolutely no idea that he wants to ask you out but is terrified to ask.

Being honest right from the start is how you avoid the dreaded friendzone.

When asking a guy out goes well, then that’s great - enjoy it!

But either way, you get a lot of respect from guys from having the courage to ask. They know how terrifying it can be!

And if you’re just too terrified…

Then you’ve got plenty of other options including:

  • Setting up your own “meet cutes” where he approaches you.
  • Practise being approachable so guys come over to you.
  • Reading my book “The Energy of Attraction” - and importantly - practising the exercises. Get your friends involved - it’s more fun!
  • Taking on an Energy Dating Coach to diagnose what’s gone wrong in the past and push you to become a new you!

How To Buy “The Energy of Attraction” by Alex Kent

The Energy of Attraction
by Alex Kent

“The Energy of Attraction” book by Alex Kent is your comprehensive yet easy-to-read guide to “Social, Romantic and Sexual” abundance. You’ll find it’s packed from cover-to-cover with tips, techniques and exercises for attracting beautiful people into your life.

You can buy the book from your favourite online shop, however if you purchase it direct from the publisher then you’ll get three months free access to:

  • Online support group.
  • Watch an hour long presentation by Alex Kent on “The Energy of Attraction”.
  • Access to the GoE Digital Library containing many ebooks, videos and audio files on Modern Energy.

Contact an Energy Dating Coach

Energy Dating Coaching Course

Seeing an Energy Dating Coach will rapidly speed up your progress in finding special people through raising your energy levels. You’ll find their feedback invaluable.

Alex Kent

About Alex Kent

CEO of the Guild of Energists.

Latest News & Articles by Alex Kent

Contact Alex Kent

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