Susan contacted me through my healingretreats.net website, looking for an emotional healing retreat. That week she had discovered her husband of two years and partner of six years, had had an affair.
Susan was devastated, the hot pain of betrayal seared through her to the core, her future was no longer certain and it had seriously knocked her self confidence.
After the revelation, whilst her husband then went on to have an epiphany and change of heart apologising profusely and wanting their marriage to continue, Susan was not so sure. He had broken their marriage vow and she wanted time away to decide what to do. Could she heal or was the marriage over?
She booked a two day retreat with me leaving him to wrestle with his uncertainty and as we sat in the gardens of our Summer venue and under the shade of beautiful trees we had the following sessions using EMO (Formerly EMOtrance).
Could we repair Susan’s energy system, heal her broken heart, their relationship, then rebuild trust and finally rebuild Susan’s self-esteem?
1 - Letting Go
The first session was to release the overwhelm of all the emotions Susan was experiencing. She arrived appearing strong but as soon as I asked her, “So how are you feeling now today about everything?”, she welled up and was overcome with emotions. I asked her where in her body she felt all the pressure? “Everywhere” she sobbed.
So we gently turned our attention and softening intention to this all over energy state of heaviness in the body until she started to feel energy movement and flow, breathing it out and letting it drain out of her body until Susan started to feel more clear headed, lighter and able to talk about the specific details of what had happened more calmly.
2 - The Double Room
In our second session we turned to the most powerful emotional event which was discovering an email that showed her husband had booked a double room at a hotel with another woman. The realisation of this affair together with the thought of him in bed with her was a powerful injury to the whole of her energy body, ripping through her. She let out a primal scream from this injury deep in her soul.
This showed up in our session as blockages in every major energy centre, the forehead, throat, chest, solar plexus, abdominal and base all were blocked with pressure and pain.
So we brought our attention and gentle softening intention to each of these injuries one by one. I joined in with my healing hands until the energy started to soften, flow and release.
Straight away we made amazing progress and we healed and released most of the energetic injuries. It was then time to stop and have lunch. Susan took some time to journal some of her thoughts and feelings before the third session.
3 - The Betrayal
In the afternoon Susan was much calmer, less emotional and able to be precise about what still was hurting her. It was the betrayal of trust and the breaking of their marriage vow. She felt this pain in her heart.
Again, we brought energy hands and softening intention to the injury in the heart and eased and relaxed this.
Susan was amazed after these three sessions that she felt the real possibility that their marriage could actually be restored and was feeling completely different about the discovery of the affair. She could think about them together and feel no pain, which was quite strange for her.
It was now definitely something that she could put behind her, especially as her husband had woken up to the consequences of his actions and realised the damage it had caused. He really wanted to stay married to Susan. We had a longer break for dinner and talked over the remaining issues.
4 - Trust
Finally that day we spoke about trust. How could Susan trust him again after this? She shared that she didn’t want to live her life with mistrust, suspicion and controlling behaviours.
She wanted to be a person that lived by choosing to trust and that to betray, abuse or honour that trust was the responsibility of her partner and showed what kind of a man he was or wanted to be.
We still had to heal more injuries in her heart area to be able to restore this trust and once again, as the energy flowed through and out of her body, we did restore trust.
In the evening we both sat in wonder at the power of energy healing to repair these injuries which would understandably break up many marriages, and yet after only one day, we really had repaired them. The marriage was well on the way to being saved.
5 - Managing The Next Step
The next steps were practical. Her husband still had to see this person in the course of his daily work and spend time in her presence.
We explored how Susan would feel with the other woman still having feelings for her husband and he having to pull himself back and not be so open with her, whilst he also started to look for another job.
Before this session, Susan’s plan was to ask her husband to tell her every detail of when he saw her, talked to her, and how it went.
I gently suggested that this level of control might be difficult for her husband to accept and that this was a need arising from the current state of her energy system, and if we repaired that, this need for control might relax a small amount.
I asked, “This need to know everything and have him report back to you everything relating to their encounters, where do you feel this in your body?” We softened and flowed that energy.
Then I said, “Now at the thought of trusting him to be acting in the right way, despite what the other woman might be feeling, what did she feel?’ There was again a small pressure in the head which we softened and the energy released quickly. We really had restored their relationship!
6 - Rebuilding Self-Esteem
Susan’s own self-esteem had taken a knock by this whole episode. The other girl was younger, slimmer and attractive. I asked, “How does this make you feel about yourself when you think of her, young, blonde, slim and attractive body?”
Susan said it made her feel self conscious and insecure about her own body, the few extra pounds she was carrying, her own confidence and sparkle was not as bright as it used to be. This energy was both in the head and in the heart. We softened and released this energy and discussed ways she could start to rebuild her self-love and planned our next session around this, having arrived now at about 6/10 in self-love.
7 - Growing Self-Love
Sat beside the outdoor pool in the beautiful gardens of our retreat, I guided Susan through a self-help BeautyT session. The set up being that all things created by the Creative Order are perfect and beloved by the Creative Order and can be no other way.
With attention and touch to each part of the body, I lead Susan using her own hands to introduce positive energy of beauty and belovedness for each part of her body, “given to her by the Creative Order and was therefore perfect and could be no other way.”
Then I guided her to breathe, to take in this energy at each step, to soften and flow it through and out, and allow these energies to bring love nourishment to her body, healing her relationship with her body.
She felt amazing after that, with her self-love rising to about 9 out of 10. It only then to direct extra love and healing to the heart energy centre. With hands on her heart centre, I guided Susan to say and give the recognitions appreciation and love to her own heart and to spend some time in this deep loving connection with her own self.
We reached a 10 on the self-love scale. Susan felt awesome and her energy had come back to being really powerful, strong and loving once again.
She was ready to go home and to talk to her husband. She said she was on a real high and felt really good about everything and their future together.
8 - Celebration and Poetry
Susan did some more journalling and we had a final celebratory swim in the outdoor pool before departing our retreat centre. On the way home Susan stopped the car for a drink and wrote the following poem.
Are there ways that I can explain
About losing my “self” and then finding it again
Soften and flow. Breath through your heart
Now no need, no reason to part,
from the man that is mine ever and true
Working as one - this is our cue
I don’t feel standard. Just heavenly sent
Never before was money so well spent!
Dark was the future, but that’s in the past
Now built a vehicle, that really can last.
Future proofed pathway
New loving found
Won’t sit on “halfway”
Won’t touch the ground
Rising and gliding into life so unknown
The pride and the glory of how I have grown.
Can’t wait to kiss him
Firm frameworks new
Bring on the rivers
of love that is true.
To my friend, I extend, a rose of red humble
No longer through life will I bump, will I bumble
Don’t get me wrong I arrived well equipped
But life can be hard
Angel wings clipped
Can I fly?
Well I am soaring
How could this happen?
Praise spirit roaring
Praise spirit snigger
To my depths it is boring
Well shit, just go figure!
Susan went home, sat down with her husband and with complete honesty, they shared everything. It wasn’t easy to hear everything as there were further revelations. There were further emotional injuries.
However, what we had healed, what we had created in flow strength, heart and the evidence that something so huge could still be healed in a relatively short time, it gave Susan the ability to get through everything, and now their marriage and relationship is truly saved and they are living happily together.
Her husband is also seeking help for his stress and depression which lead him to be susceptible to attention outside the marriage and blind to the consequences on those he loved. Susan now feels like a completely different person and now plans to do further training in EMO.
Sandra Hillawi is now being recognised as major contributor, driving force and acclaimed speaker, teacher and coach. The Love Clinic (DragonRising) was her first published work, expressing her heartfelt passion and desire to help people discover how to use the latest approaches to working with human mind, body and emotion so they can hurt less, love more and love better. Sandra offers EFT and EMO healing and personal development sessions, runs live GoE training courses, web conference training plus healing retreats in the UK and Egypt.
To find out more about the EMO Master Practitioner course and upcoming live training dates, click here, and to arrange free demo from one of our experienced practitioners click here.
~ This article was first published in the August 2014 (Vol.1 No.2) edition of The Energist.
The Energist is The GoE's new quarterly journal-style magazine that is distributed to over 1,000 of our members and associates worldwide. Find out more about GoE membership and how to obtain your copy of The Energist by clicking here.
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