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Newsflash! You Can't Love Yourself!
I've got some news for all those out there who have been told they must "learn to love themselves more" - it doesn't work.
It can't be done. It's hopeless. Want to know why?
Added Mar 28, 2011
| 20,490 Reads
Here's the deal.
When you think in terms of "I" that is you, right here and now, whenever and wherever that might be.
That which thinks "I" is your consciousness, and that's always here and now, in one place, it can't ever be anywhere else.
Wait a minute, you say, I can remember when I was ten, standing at my birthday party. That wasn't here and now?
It becomes here and now if "you" are standing there. It's still you, or if I go to my birthday party when I was ten, that would be "I" right there.
"You" and "I" can only be in one place at any one time, and that makes it structurally impossible for me to love "I" or for you to love "you".
I can love you, and you can love me.
That can be done and it is easy.
We can love things that aren't "I".
And therein lies the solution to how to love your self.
We can take up a position of consciousness where we can love someone or something who isn't us, and this someone or something can be, for example, our left hand.
Look at your left hand and have a go at loving it. Thanking it for all its hard work, all those years on your behalf. All the things its touched so you didn't have to!
Can you love the hand?
Give it a kiss, stroke it kindly.
There you go - you've loved a bit of you. There is now 5% of you that is more loved than it was a few moments ago.
If you were now to take all your clothes off, get some lovely expensive aromatherapy oil and start lovingly anointing yourself, from the toes upward, loving all the bits of you deeply and profoundly as you go (and make sure you don't discriminate!) you'll feel whoosy with love by the time you get to the tips of your hair.
And now on to other ways to increase the love.
Remember remembering standing at my tenth birthday party?
There's a young aspect of me there, flushed with excitement and quite overcome by all the activity.
A random child, ten years of age.
Can you love her?
Have a go.
If you find it difficult to love on command, try picking out something loveable about this child. Perhaps you like her long brown hair, or her flashing brown eyes. Perhaps you like her dress with the flowers on. Perhaps the fact her nose is red from spending too much time in the sun makes you laugh. Perhaps you like her voice, high and clear. Have a go at finding her fascinating, it might help with finding a little love for the child.
Now, over to your own aspect.
I don't know what your tenth birthday was like; perhaps it was spent in a dungeon or it was forgotten. Perhaps there were many people or none; only you know that.
This time though, stand there as YOU now and watch the aspect of you, watch that child. Try and love it, best you can.
Perhaps at some point the child will turn and smile at you in return, love you back.
But that's advanced, you don't have to go that far.
But now, there's more love for your self.
That's the trick with self love.
You can't love yourself, but you can love others. I think this basic truth got a bit perverted into "you shouldn't love yourself, ONLY others" at some point; perhaps they wanted to say, "Don't even try, it doesn't work ..." and got their words mixed up. Who is to know!
In the meantime, you can do much more than love an aspect from many years ago when they were still all innocent and sweet.
Aspects exist all the time, and as our consciousness moves on and on through time, there is an aspect born every micro-milli-myngo-minso-second.
So you can have a go at loving the aspect of you that existed when you started to read this article, a few minutes ago.
By all means, step into that memory but not step inside of the aspect, step into the room and you are here and now, watching the aspect then starting to read the article.
Have a go at loving them.
A tip: Criticising them for their appearance, state or anything at all makes loving so much harder, so don't. As before, focus on something you like about the aspect. It's a global thing, works with all aspects, even yours, and no matter what.
Now, there are many applications and ways in which you can improve the loving of yourself.
For example, there are the future aspects. How can you prove your love to those?
You know those shows on TV where the bedraggled exhausted detective comes home, starving hungry, opens the fridge and finds only a gone off Chinese takeout leftover and a gone off carton of milk inside?
His past aspects really didn't love him, or if they did, they didn't show it.
Surely they must have known that the time will come when he would come home, bedraggled and exhausted, and he would open the fridge - and what did they put in there for him to find?
The thing is, to do nice things for yourself is tricky. It may even be impossible, structurally, just as impossible as loving yourself, or jumping over your own shadow.
However, to do a nice thing for a future bedraggled aspect, now that's a different story.
That would be our bedraggled detective, opening the fridge, and finding inside a beer of his favourite brand, a plate of delicious food, cold starters to be eaten right away, and another container which is to be re-heated in the microwave and contains a hearty meal, and there's a little note on top which says, "Cheer up Harry, you done a good job today and we're proud of you! Continue to serve and protect! xxx Harry"
Wow. How would that make the detective feel?
Loved? Served? Protected?
Yeah well, that's how to do loving yourself in practice.
And you really should take it to the extreme.
Allow yourself to fall in love with your aspects.
Buy them flowers. Buy them gifts and hide them so they will find them in the future. Go the extra mile, show that you care.
Do unto your aspects as you would want to be done by.
And that's how you love yourself.
Author, Events Psychology: How To Understand Yourself & Other People
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Information about Silvia Hartmann
President of the Guild of Energists.
Training courses and events with Silvia Hartmann:
GoE Modern Energy Trainers Course 2019 with
Silvia Hartmann & Alex Kent 3-9 June 2019 - The Cavendish Hotel, 38 Grand Parade, Eastbourne, England, BN21 4DH
Latest news & articles by Silvia Hartmann:
Posted Feb 11, 2019
Here is a lovely and fascinating positive energy exercise for you that will raise your energy quickly, anytime, anywhere and will help you to stop flapping, and to start flying!
Posted Jan 2, 2019
In the original Harmony Program, the state after the extreme disturbances at -7 was described as an autistic state, where the energy system has collapsed in on itself and the creature in question...
Posted Dec 13, 2018
We're delighted to announce first details on a highly-recommended online video course GoE Energy Symbols Master which is for anyone interested in creativity, high-energy states, art, writing and...
Posted Nov 27, 2018
Here are Silvia Hartmann's top tips for making the most of the online conference. It's all about ENERGY!
Posted Nov 20, 2018
Being a Modern Energist is all about taking back control of your energy levels, as life gets truly magical as you approach +10 on the SUE Scale!
Silvia Hartmann has kindly written a free ebook...
Posted Nov 15, 2018
A truly magical time was had by all at the 20th and last Energy Conference at the View Hotel in beautiful Eastbourne by the sea. Stand by for how you can take part in the experience across time...
Posted Oct 20, 2018
If you model "human excellence" you can't help but get stuck in what there has already been - and the true potential for human development lies in the unexplored territory of WHAT THERE HAS NEVER...
Posted Oct 20, 2018
This is a beautiful and very moving EMO energy exercise that benefits you in many more ways than you might suspect just yet. Do the exercise for a week and you will begin to know just how much...
Posted Oct 9, 2018
Where did Modern Energy Tapping come from? What are the key features of Modern Energy Tapping? How is it different from Energy EFT? Why did Silvia Hartmann become convinced that it was the way...
Posted Oct 4, 2018
GoE Energy Conference 2018 preperations are in full swing, and we are thrilled to announce our +10 line-up, including two presentations from GoE president and Modern Energy Tapping creator Silvia...
Posted Sep 25, 2018
We are excited to announce the immediate availability of the GoE's new online video course, " Modern Energy Foundation " which is being launched at the exceptional price of just £47.95 GBP (approx...
Posted Sep 11, 2018
As of today, Silvia Hartmann's "Heart Healing" Meditation has been downloaded one million times. One million hearts of energy were touched. Here is the extraordinary story of Modern Energy's core...
Posted Sep 6, 2018
The "heart of energy" is the center of our energy body and the true ruler of how we experience life, what we think, and what we do. All major human emotions are "cries from the heart" - joy, love,...
Posted Sep 1, 2018
Silvia Hartmann writes: "I have been asked countless times what the "real secret to success" really is. Of course, we are talking about modern energy solutions, but there is one master key to...
Posted Aug 31, 2018
We're excited to announce that the new and highly anticipated Modern Energy Art course by Silvia Hartmann is now available to join. " The Joy of Modern Energy Art " is suitable for both...
Posted Aug 1, 2018
Silvia Hartmann's latest title Modern Energy r(E)volution has now been downloaded over a thousand times by people all over the world looking to change their lives with Modern Energy.
Posted Jul 21, 2018
Silvia Hartmann writes: I said to someone the other day, "The amount of times you have accessed negative memories in self help, moments of doubt, therapy, healing, personal development and...
Posted Jul 11, 2018
Yes, it's the r(E)al (E)nergy r(E)volution – the paradigm shift we've all been waiting for, the missing 16.7% of information that finally helps us make sense of reality!
Modern Energy is the key...
Posted Jun 21, 2018
Please join us in giving a MASSIVE +10 congratulations to all the trainers who attended the sold-out GoE Trainer Training 2018!
If you were wondering what happens at a seven day intensive GoE...
Posted May 17, 2018
Silvia Hartmann's acclaimed Modern Energy Tapping is now available as a paperback book! Powerful, logical, simple and a fantastic experience each and every time, Modern Energy Tapping is the...
Posted Mar 19, 2018
Modern Energy in a nutshell - Modern Energy explained.
Posted Feb 5, 2018
When a person comes to the inevitable conclusion that "their childhood was terrible," based on a lifetime spent sorting only for traumatic memories and moments of deep unhappiness, pain and...
Posted Feb 1, 2018
GoE President Silvia Hartmann's Special Report into the Afterlife is NOW AVAILABLE.
"The Modern Energist's Guide to the Afterlife. It's such an amazing topic that never made any sense without...
Posted Jan 15, 2018
Today, Monday 15th January 2018 is Blue Monday which according to some is the most depressing day of the year. Depleted funds, fading memories of holidays and low light levels in the Northern...
Posted Jan 11, 2018
GoE President Silvia Hartmann discusses the role of Modern Energy Tapping as a first step to the inevitable discovery in Modern Energy.
Posted Dec 30, 2017
Alex Kent, CEO of the Guild of Energists (GoE) reflects on how our not-for-profit modern energy organisation has grown and flourished in 2017. The GoE is now active in over seventy countries,...
Posted Aug 9, 2017
For the last few weeks there have been lots of anticipation and rumours circulating, so today it gives us great pleasure to announce and confirm that:
Silvia Hartmann (author of Energy EFT,...
Posted Jul 11, 2017
Starting 1st September 2017, Silvia Hartmann will begin working with a small number of apprentices for a one year course in Modern Energy Art.
The artists will have a highly personalised course,...
Posted May 17, 2017
Answering the popular question: Energy Psychology And Modern Energy - What's The Difference?
Posted Apr 24, 2017
Defining the relationship between Modern Energy in the Third Field and "mental health" by GoE President Silvia Hartmann.
Modern Energy & "Mental Health" - An Overview | Stress & Mental...
Posted Mar 23, 2017
There is a tremendous amount of confusion on the topic of "energy healing."
Many believe that energy healing is entirely delusional and that those who practise it are at best incapable of...
Posted Mar 20, 2017
Why the endless chasing of trauma will not make your life any better in the long run, and what to do to escape from the trauma trap.
Posted Mar 16, 2017
The Guild of Energist are very excited to introduce Modern Energy Healer. This course has been created by Silvia Hartmann , President of The Guild of Energists and will be presented to you by...
Posted Feb 15, 2017
"You could fill not just the Titanic, but also the Olympic and Britannic and hundreds more of their size with the documentation on how humans fail," writes GoE president Silvia Hartmann. "How...
Posted Feb 15, 2017
GoE president Silvia Hartmann writes about her next-level and explorative course SuperMind Master , the follow-up to Project Sanctuary, where you learn to speak the language of the soul and...
Posted Feb 13, 2017
Love was in the air this Valentine's Day and as a gift for one day only, author Silvia Hartmann gave away the full version of her acclaimed book, Love EFT for free!
Congratulations to the...
Posted Feb 2, 2017
Here is a simple, fast and extremely energizing and inspiring "energy ritual" to get you ready for action!
You can use E EFT, EMO Energy In Motion, Energy Dancing, Energy Magic or any modern...
Posted Oct 4, 2016
There is a natural healing process at work which will in time take care of not just emotional scars but also physical scars in the widest metaphorical sense.
Sometimes however, this natural...
Posted Sep 7, 2016
Check the Stress Chart for the symptoms of stress, find out where you are on the stress chart according to your symptoms of stress.
For many people, the stress chart is a revelation as they...
Posted Aug 10, 2016
When we normally see the energy chart (SUE Scale, Energy Body Chart, Pyramid Model in Modern Stress Management ), it is linear from -10 to +10. That's an abstraction of a more complex unfoldment....
Posted Aug 1, 2016
We are constantly asked, "How can I have a more stress free relationship?" - "What can I do to have less stress in my relationships?" - "My relationship is stressing me out - HELP!"
Posted Jul 30, 2016
EMO Energy In Motion: The EMO Primer. EMO in a nutshell, the 2016 version, plus the essential Laws of Energy.
Posted Jun 12, 2016
EMO Energy In Motion is fundamental to the development of modern Energy EFT. Here is a comprehensive essay which traces the lineage of the different techniques and approaches utilised in modern...
Posted Apr 21, 2016
Silvia Hartmann writes; "When we work with positive energy, we experience a personalised, positive healing journey every time - and we can never choose the wrong positives. All positives are...
Posted Mar 1, 2016
BeauTy is a very powerful energy healing experience, for those who raise that energy and deliver it and those who receive it just the same. Healing with radiant love and admiration, what we call...
Posted Jan 28, 2016
In this article from Guild of Energists (GoE) Chair & Energy EFT creator Silvia Hartmann, she explains the importance of The GoE's transition to The Guild of Energists this November, as well...
Posted Sep 29, 2015
The differences between Classic EFT, Energy EFT and Positive EFT in a nutshell.
Posted Sep 8, 2015
Back before the turn of the century, the question, "What is EFT?" led to an explanation of tapping on meridian points as a change technique. In 2015, the question means, "With all these different...
Posted Jul 29, 2015
Many people think of energy in terms of healing and therapy only. This is only a tiny proportion of the uses of modern energy in the greater scheme of things.
Here is a handy diagram based on...
Posted Apr 20, 2015
On June 19-21 2015 during the summer solstice, Silvia Hartmann will be presenting the last ever live Project Sanctuary Masters training at The View Hotel, Eastbourne. Here are Silvia's thoughts...
Silvia Hartmannhas the following products in the store:
Posted Nov 3, 2016
Powerful information every person on this Earth needs to hear about. Fifteen years of EMO in theory and practice have taught us so much about energy, how it works with human emotion but also with...
Posted Mar 23, 2010
Energy Dancing is a completely natural and intuitive way to increase energy flow throughout the body. This causes emotions to change for the better, as well as being a very fast method to...
Posted Mar 21, 2010
Magic Dancing: Energy Dancing with The Sacred Horse.
Experience profound relief, release, de-stress and energize your mind, your body, your energy body with this brilliant NEW self help program...
Posted Jun 17, 2014
Infinite Creativity: The Project Sanctuary Story by Silvia Hartmann comes 16 years after the original Project Sanctuary manual was released. If you are interested in unlocking your minds full...
Posted Jan 18, 2018
Following two decades of research with classic tapping, Energy in Motion, Energy EFT and Positive EFT comes Modern Energy Tapping - a system designed from the ground up to get you and your clients...
Posted Feb 1, 2018
In this Special Report, GoE President Silvia Hartmann takes us through an amazing journey to the afterlife - and beyond. If you have always wondered about the reality of the immortal soul, wanted...
Posted Dec 31, 2017
In this special report, Silvia Hartmann takes us deep into the Power of the Positives and guides us to the next step on our journey into the undiscovered country on the positive side of the Modern...
Posted Oct 3, 2017
The Trillion Dollar Stress Solution: MODERN Stress Management - From Stress To Success.
Very rarely, a book comes along that has the power to change the way we see the world. Silvia Hartmann's...
Silvia Hartmann has kindly contributed the following titles to the 🏫 GoE Library
Posted Oct 2, 2018
Raise energy FAST with these 4 quick and easy techniques to overcome procrastination, anxiety and self doubt presented by Silvia Hartmann: Heart Healing, EMO Energy In Motion, Modern Energy...
Posted Jan 8, 2018
DragonRising is the publishing arm of the Guild of Energists and they've released some of the most outstanding and innovative audio products available, including: HypnoSolutions, HypnoDreams,...
Posted Jan 23, 2017
Earth Rise is a short energy hypnosis program created by Silvia Hartmann to improve the ability to visualise in internal representations. Use the exercise repeatedly and/or use in conjunction with...
Posted Jan 23, 2017
A rare audio recording of Silvia Hartmann telling the story "Elory's Joy" with a sound track by Ananaga Sivyer.
Posted Jan 19, 2017
Follow with this fascinating transcript as Silvia Hartmann builds a brand new, shiny fresh and young body image from the ground up, step by step as this extraordinary training unfolds. Based on...
Posted Jan 22, 2017
EMO Project Energy (2003) Special Report by Silvia Hartmann is a step by step guide how to take an original idea to its material manifestation, using the principles of energy.
Posted Mar 8, 2017
43 minute video recording of Silvia Hartmann presenting on Energy EFT at the Living Energy 2012 conference.
Posted Nov 10, 2013
Silvia Hartmann's keynote presentation on Positive Energy to the delegates of the GoE Energy Conference 2013
Posted Nov 10, 2013
Silvia Hartmann presenting on Project Sanctuary - Infinite Creativity at the GoE Energy Conference 2013
Posted Nov 1, 2014
The energy system is a fascinating place with levels and layers, and so much to discover. By now, almost everybody knows that to mess with the heart centre is a very bad idea and leads to all...
Posted May 4, 2017
In 2014, Silvia Hartmann brought together a special think tank to tackle the evergreen problem of MARKETING from the Energist's perspective and from the ground up. Modern energy work is a hugely...
Posted Nov 1, 2016
Silvia Hartmann's keynote presentation from the GoE Energy Conference 2016, where she unveiled the "Big E" and we officially became the Guild of Energists.
Posted Apr 6, 2018
One hour video presentation by Ilka Wandel on Silvia Hartmann's "Energy Constellations". Also included is Silvia Hartmann's Energy Constellations Adobe PDF file to download and study at home.
Posted Oct 12, 2018
For the last 23 years, brave souls have been venturing into Project Sanctuary, the original universal sandbox designed to learn the mysterious, fascinating and enchanting ways of the energy mind....
Posted Jan 20, 2018
GoE President Silvia Hartmann's keynote presentation for the GoE Energy Conference 2017.
The positive side of the Modern Energy Chart is truly "The Undiscovered Country" - it is a new world, a...
Posted Oct 9, 2018
The extrordinary story how a distraught child sex abuse survivor triggered a chain of events that has helped to heal a million broken hearts - so far! - Video with GoE president Silvia Hartmann
Posted Feb 10, 2017
MindMillion by Silvia Hartmann - Complete book has been added to the Library.
In this extraordinary book, you will find the tried and tested remedies, techniques, tools and most of all, the...
Posted Jan 22, 2012
MindMillion articles on business success from the energy perspective (pre-Energy EFT/Positive EFT) 2005 - 2012. Includes over seventy articles.
Posted Oct 23, 2018
Never heard of Modern Energy? Check out this 5 min intro that might just change your life! Here is how to do "emotional wellness" "emotional intelligence" and how to get from stress to success in...
Posted Apr 16, 2018
27 minute video of author Silvia Hartmann presenting on Modern Energy Tapping at the GoE Positive Energy Day which took place at Sedgwick Park UK in 2014.
Posted Feb 25, 2017
Classic EFT & NLP is a special report by Silvia Hartmann for NLP Practitioners on how to use Classic EFT, which covers how to use Classic EFT to enhance NLP abilities in the self; how to use...
Posted Apr 24, 2015
NLP Neurolinguistic Programming with energy in mind themed articles by Silvia Hartmann. Includes over eighty articles on subjects including Learning NLP, NLP and Energy, NLP Essays, NLP and...
Posted Feb 26, 2017
Power Affirmations - 21st Century Magic Spells That Change Reality - 2008 Special Report by Silvia Hartmann, full text.
Posted Jan 27, 2017
Silvia Hartmann's groundbreaking Project Sanctuary. Third edition 2002, published 2003. Complete text.
Project Sanctuary is a unique set of processes using intention, energy and metaphor,...
Posted Mar 12, 2018
Project Sanctuary is easy, and fun. In this straightforward, friendly 14 minute free meditation, GoE President Silvia Hartmann guides you through the process of setting up a "first Sanctuary". Use...
Posted Jun 19, 2018
Special Report by Silvia Hartmann for all members to read free in the library, however prior knowledge of SuperMind, Infinite Creativity and Project Sanctuary is advised.
Need to read Infinite...
Posted Jun 1, 2014
Summer 2014 edition of The Energist magazine.
Posted Oct 1, 2014
Autumn 2014 edition of The Energist magazine.
Posted Jan 21, 2015
Winter 2015 edition of The Energist magazine.
Posted Apr 9, 2015
Spring 2015 edition of The Energist magazine.
Posted Jul 27, 2015
Summer 2015 edition of The Energist magazine.
Posted Sep 1, 2015
Autumn 2015 edition of The Energist magazine.
Posted Mar 19, 2016
Spring 2016 edition of The Energist magazine.
Posted Feb 1, 2017
Spring 2017 edition of The Energist magazine.
Posted May 26, 2017
Summer 2017 edition of The Energist magazine.
Posted Feb 20, 2018
Winter 2018 edition of The Energist magazine.
Available to read online on smart phones, tablets and in browsers, plus also the option to download as an Adobe PDF file for printing out at home or...
Posted Oct 16, 2018
Do you want to be a millionaire? Check out these amazing Top 5 Tips from GoE president Silvia Hartmann
Posted Nov 6, 2018
Video clips from Silvia Hartmann's Modern Energy Foundation online course:
Unit 1: Why Your Happiness Matters - An Introduction to Modern Energy
These are made available to you to watch...
Posted Jan 13, 2017
Zauberwelt is an introduction to the magical world of modern energy. In this charming book, Silvia Hartmann explains in simple words and simple examples how different our world looks when we...
Posted Jan 13, 2017
Zauberwelt is an introduction to the magical world of modern energy. In this charming book which has been translated from the original German language edition, Silvia Hartmann explains in simple...
Contact details and membership information for Silvia Hartmann:
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