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Overcoming Childhood Art Trauma With Modern Energy: The Fountain
Silvia Hartmann writes: I run a Modern Energy Art Masters Course once a year, starting on Summer Solstice June 21st, and a couple of months into it, a MEA person contacted me and said that they had tried all sorts to get over a particular childhood trauma relating to art, but they felt stuck and wondered if I could assist.
I run a Modern Energy Art Masters Course once a year, starting on Summer Solstice June 21st, and a couple of months into it, a MEA person contacted me and said that they had tried all sorts to get over a particular childhood trauma relating to art, but they felt stuck and wondered if I could assist.
Now there are some problems that are such, I liken them to trying to do open heart surgery on yourself, on the kitchen table, using the butter knife - they're just not meant to be done "in self help."
Human beings are a social species; we're supposed to help each other out! It's not just OK to ask for help when you need it, it's the logical, correct course of action to take.
I asked the person to tell me about this particular childhood trauma.
This is what they said.
"When I was very young, perhaps two or three, well, there was an aspect and they got their first watercolour box, you know that metal type with the round dried colours in it?
"Well, the aspect was very excited and painted its first ever picture with them, the house and the family, but of course the aspect had no idea how to use them right, used too much water, the colours ran into each other and the paper wobbled and bobbled, but the colours were lovely and the aspect went to find father to show him.
"When father saw the painting, he started to scream and shout at the aspect that this was a disgrace, horrible, and screamed into the aspect's face, "You are no child of mine."
"He took the painting and ripped it up, furiously, and the aspect ran away, afraid of a beating.
"I have tried tapping on this but it still flashes into my mind, especially when other people see any art of mine, it's always there, and ... OK, so I have a really deep seated belief that I'm no good at art."
I was listening to this with much sadness and it occurred to me to ask, "Did that event stop the little aspect from painting? What happened to the water colour box?"
The person went thoughtful and said, "No, it didn't stop the aspect. Not at all. It just stopped showing the art to the parents ... or anyone ... Oh ..."
Yes, that was an AHA moment. I wanted to be clear on this, so I said, "OK, the aspect continued to do art in spite of that awful reaction. Most children would have stopped, right there and then, and never put brush to paper again! Your aspect must have had art in the blood."
The person smiled and said, "Yes, that's funny, but true. Of the painting that my father ripped up I remember that I liked it, the colours were pretty and the way they ran into each other and made new colours, fascinating. I have always liked my art."
"That's a good start!" I said brightly, "And we've got the problem isolated here - it is the showing of the art, the surprising, shocking negative reaction, it's about what happens when you show your art."
"Yes. That's exactly right. There's nothing wrong with my art!"
That was a heartfelt exclamation and I clapped my hands. "Cool," I said, "I'm glad we have that straight! Now, what can we do for the aspect? Let's just stand and watch this whole thing unfold, and pay attention to the energy movements, because that's what we're working with here. Artists use colours and we use energy."
Here, I have to give a managerial summary as to what happened next.
As we watched in extreme slow motion as the aspect approached the father with the painting, who was sitting at the kitchen table, reading a newspaper, there was a moment when the aspect saw/felt the change in the father.
This change from a perfectly nice, normal person to a raging monster was already known to the aspect!
The aspect responded by putting up a shield against the tirade that happened next, and that is why the young artist survived this episode with their love of art and colours completely intact - but with the "learning" that "showing art triggers violence."
My person said at some point, "There were a whole lot of things that you knew not to do in case father would go mad. Singing or whistling while he was around. Bouncing balls. Dropping stuff. Crying! The "showing the art" just went on that list together with everything else. Wow. I never knew that!"
"So let me guess," I said carefully, "Singing in public or whistling or crying is ... not something you do now either, much like the showing of the art."
The person nodded thoughtfully. "Yup," they said, "Yup there's a whole lot of things on that list ... I wonder if we could take out the list itself, that would be very freeing. All of it, all at once ... I wonder how would you do that ..."
I thought that was fascinating. "Well, it's only energy," I said, because that's always a good thing to think and say. When we approach problems from the energy angle, many things become possible that were previously so difficult, or entirely out of reach.
"Let's say we want to ... evolve the list. Make it better, more suitable, more up to date. Which Positive could help us here?"
The person said, "Up to date, that stood out to me. Update it. That feels really helpful, hopeful. I wouldn't want to destroy the list. That doesn't feel safe."
"OK," I said, "I think the list is now somewhat of an entity. We can evolve it. Update it. Where is this list in your energy system? Can you point to it?" I expected it to be outside of the person, but they pointed immediately to the top of their stomach, and then placed a hand there, with a deep sigh.
"It's a gut reaction," came to my mind to say and the person nodded. "Yes," they said, "That's exactly what it is, a gut reaction that is a warning. I wouldn't want to lose that, I think that has warned me and protected me well over the many years."
"Yes. It can protect you even better now without being a hindrance in your life."
"That would be amazing. I would love that!"
"OK! So what positive does this erea need to be happier, to evolve? Update feels a bit mechanical to me."
The person, with their hand still on that place at the top of their stomach, closed their eyes and took a deep breath. The other hand went to the heart centre. I did the same thing and we did some silent breathing together. It was very quiet and I could hear the person's stomach rumbling. Then they said, "It just needs ... love. Appreciation for all the good work it has done to keep me safe."
"Lets do that then," I said quietly, "Let's send it love and gratitude."
The person nodded, still with their eyes closed. After a few moments, I could see that the hand on the stomach started to make downward strokes, slow and rhymical. I did the same and only a minute or so later, we both started to yawn, at the same time. Energy was moving.
My own eyes were tearing up doing this and it felt like some huge, ancient stress was being relieved at last, and both of us continued yawning deeply and heavily. And then it happened - I got the energy shivers and my person also started moving their shoulders at the same time, sitting up straighter, and they were doing circular strokes on the stomach erea first before making the downward stroke, a different rhythm which I followed along.
More energy flowing down my arms, up my neck, into my legs, tingling, delightful - we are so on the right track here! I found myself thinking, "God I love working with energy!" and a big smile came to my face.
My person opened their eyes, caught my smile and smiled right back, brightly. "That feels SO good," they said, still doing the circular movements with the downward stroke, "That feels amazing. Wow. I love it!"
"Let's stand up and encourage that energy flow some more," I suggested, and we did, and when we picked up the hand movements, they were circular movements on the heart centre as well as on the stomach erea.
Both of us were moving now, energy dancing in fact, and smiling at each other.
The person started to laugh and cried out, "I can feel my legs!" That made me laugh and they continued, "Not that I don't normally feel my legs, but it's like they're much more present, much more supportive, much more THERE right now! Feels amazing!"
Their hand movements changed as they were saying this, now stroking with alternate hands from the heart centre straight down the centre line of the body, past the stomach area, quite fast, and a few moments later, their hands started higher, on the throat, and here they laughed out aloud and said, "Speaking and singing! it's all a part of this! I can express myself!"
Wow! That was an extra bonus and then my person changed their movements from stroking down to stroking up, a straight movement from the stomach erea up, past the heart centre, up the throat and out in a FOUNTAIN movement, and that was just amazing. The feeling was just amazing.
I joined in wholeheartedly and with much joy, and we both made these great fountain movements, laughing with delight, and it was as though we were raining blessings on each other, on the world.
Just beautiful. Spontaneous, right time, right place, perfect.
But what of the small aspect who had shown the father the picture?
"That's amazing," said my person, clapping their hands in delight. "He's just standing there and my little aspect is being the fountain, blessing him, healing him, oh my, that's so beautiful!"
And so my person was happy. They took away the personal power positive THE FOUNTAIN, and those energy movements they had found for themselves to keep those channels open and flowing powerfully.
August 26, 2019
"You Are The Fountain" Silvia Hartmann, August 2019