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Victim, Survivor & How The Truth Can Set Us Free

Being forced to accept the mantle of "the victim" which becomes the "everlasting survivor" even when a person doesn't feel like a victim before one is allowed to heal is extremely counterproductive and can block healing, change and evolution from  happening at all - as is the ongoing exhortation that a person must somehow accept that "It's not your fault!" when in fact they feel with every fibre of their being that is IS THEIR fault.

In this article, Silvia Hartmann makes the case for simply working with what a person really feels - the intrapersonal truth - rather than to add insult to injury and telling a person what they should be feeling, or what they're feeling is wrong and it's their fault that they're not healing.

Victim, Survivor

& How The Truth Can Set Us Free

Silvia Hartmann


The Idea Of Victimhood & Being A Victim - Victims -> Participants - The Everlasting Survivor? - "It Wasn't Your Fault!" - A Path To Absolution


 

The Idea Of Victimhood & Being A Victim

I have always had a huge problem with the idea of victimhood, of being a victim.

Even though I "was a victim of child abuse" *I* intrapersonally NEVER felt like a victim.

The necessity to don the mantle of the victim as a pre-requisite to enter therapy and "receive healing" as in, "My name is Steve, and I'm an alcoholic!" precluded me from ever entering into therapy.

I thought for a long time that it was just me, that there was "something wrong with me" that I didn't feel like a victim, didn't want to feel like a victim, didn't want to play the "It wasn't your fault, you were just some hapless f**kbag for just anyone to do with whatever they wanted because you were too young, too stupid, and too weak to defend yourself from those who are bigger, smarter and more powerful than your pathetic helpless self" game.

Not at all.

However, as time went by and I got to talk to others who had similar experiences, turns out that nobody really wants to be a victim, never mind remain a victim forever, just because some idiot/s in the past did stuff that caused us to freak out.

There are some strange and worrisome presuppositions, subtexts, in general counselling and therapy as it stands today.

This "you can't heal unless you accept that you're a victim, that it wasn't your fault, that you did nothing wrong" thing is one of those.

It is, in fact, a form of brainwashing.

You HAVE to accept that whole victim thing - IF you WANT to heal, that is.

If you don't, well, it's your choice ... suffer forever then ...

Next, we have to thoroughly hate the abusers/perpetrators, from hereon in referred to in the US fashion as "the perps" (which is a phonological ambiguity to "the pervs" to be sure!).

Then, we have to forgive them.

And ONLY THEN are we allowed to heal.

But actually, we still remain victims forever ...

What a lot of b*****t!

Let's draw a line under all of that, right now.


_______________LINE ...____________________________________

 

Victim -> Participant


Let's start afresh, at the beginning, at the very heart of the problem.

The first thing we can do is to re-name "the victim" to "the participant".

Now, I can hear the squawks ringing around the world.

Stoppit.

Did I say, "WILLING participant"?

No.

I said, "participant".

Which denotes someone who has participated in something. Which means that they took part in something, and whether it was willing or otherwise, has not yet been established.

It just means they were there, and played a part in the unfoldments of the situation.

You literally cannot have a torture scene with a torturer and there is no-one being tortured.

Both are participants in the scene.

That is the truth of it, one way or the other.

Both are present.

That's where we start.

  • Now, and regardless of whether we are counselling the torturer, or the tortured, we can begin to EXPLORE THEIR INTRAPERSONAL EXPERIENCES.

We can absolutely connect with and take down THEIR UNIQUE POINT OF VIEW of the situation in which both were participants.

We can unfold step by step WHAT REALLY HAPPENED *****INTRAPERSONALLY***** - honestly, correctly, logically.

And we can work with THAT intrapersonal reality to bring about changes.

It is a simple fact of life that when we work with what there really is, as opposed to working with what we want there to be, hope there should be, expect that there must be, or hallucinate that there ought to be, we end up with real changes, instead of a total mess.

ALL the participants - and this now includes the counsellor as well! - get to MOVE ON and evolve.

That's worth having.

It's simple.

It's clean.

It's honest.

It is a HUGE relief for all concerned as they can stop trying to squash themselves into some arbitrary role like trying to get into a suit of armour made from spiky metal that is ten sizes too small, and instead, unfold and learn what REALLY HAPPENED THERE, who we really are, each one of the participants, when all is said and done.

When we make this shift, we might even find out how to prevent similar situations from happening in future, and the endless seeming feedback loop between new generations of victims and perps can finally be broken.

We might learn something about how to treat ourselves and others differently, how to treat ourselves right.

And that would be ... progress, at least in my books.

 

The Everlasting Survivor?

As long as a person continues to define themselves and all they are as a "... SURVIVOR" we can actually simply say, that this person has NOT finished with these events, is NOT clear of them, has NOT reached an evolution and is still "living there".

It is the moment when the survivor of a plane crash ceases to call themselves a plane crash victim, or a plane crash survivor, in words, in their thoughts, how they feel in their bodies, and start calling themselves just a man or a woman instead, perhaps a Republican or an artist, a mother or a CEO, that we know the person is finally healed and back in the now with us, rather than still trapped by the events of the  past.

I personally do not encourage anyone to call themselves a survivor. There may be merit in dealing with the fact that something was indeed, survived, but that should be clearly over with as soon as possible and should never become a life choice, an identity forming role or anything of that nature.

A person who is still in that survivor mode is in limbo and needs to evolve out of that limbo, in their own time.

To tell someone that "they will be a survivor forever" is nothing but handing down a cruel sentence of a future devoid of healing, of change, of learning, and of evolution.

That is the same as telling someone that they will be a victim forever, or even a perpetrator forever - it denies the forward movement of evolution for that one person that is possible, that is attainable and most of all, SHOULD BE SOUGHT WITH ALL SPEED so that a person can become a person once more, and make a life that is worth something, to them, and to society at large.

 

"It wasn't your fault!"

Further from the whole victim/survivor confusion, one of the worst and most harmful brainwashing entrainments in modern psychology is the whole dea of trying to get the client to accept somehow that, "It wasn't your fault!"

This is so unfair, so deeply disturbing to have a person in emotional pain after what they have been through, and then the person who is supposed to help them, is trying to convince them that what they are feeling is WRONG, and they shouldn't be feeling it, and that until and unless they realise just how wrong their ideas and feelings are, no healing will be rationed out.

It's truly appalling.

If someone feels, "It is my fault that this terrible thing happened ...." then WHY can't we just work with what a person feels instead of trying to talk them out of it and make them somehow (and on top of everything else) think they were wrong to feel whatever it is they're feeling in the first place?

Insult to injury!

Also, we are now in a position where a person who feels strongly that it WAS their fault gets into a stalemate with those who try to treat them. There is no forward movement. Everything STOPS. And that is possibly the greatest catastrophe of the "It wasn't your fault!" entrainment.

I saw this at work the other day with an elderly gentleman who bought his daughter an airplane ticket to go on a holiday as a special birthday gift - and unfortunately for all concerned, the airplane crashed and there were no survivors.

This was 20 years ago and people are STILL trying to tell the guy that it wasn't his fault.

And he is STILL in pain - in fact, in the same pain he has been in all along.

For Heaven's sake!

Just let him say that he feels and therefore knows in every fibre of his being that it is his fault, and finally take his word for it, ACCEPT HIS INTRAPERSONAL REALITY AS WHAT THERE REALLY IS - and take it from there.

 

A Path To Absolution

From there we can finally plot a path to absolution.

In fact, that is the ONLY place we can start if we want to evolve the problem, or help the gentleman.

Now it is true that in the past, psychologists and counsellors didn't have any methods to change a person's feelings directly.

That is no longer the case today, and we can work directly with the feelings without the labels of guilt and shame, without having to hide away from the intrapersonal truth, whatever it may be.

In that way, there is a chance that finally, the victims will be heard and can find a way to heal; the perpetrators may be healed and cease to pose a threat to others in the future, and the helper can come away with the knowledge that they have done something very brave and so unusual, which is to face another person's intrapersonal reality without feeling the need to distort it or have it be something that it never was, and assist in their unique personal path and evolution instead.


Silvia Hartmann
Author, Events Psychology

 


The Idea Of Victimhood & Being A Victim - Victims -> Participants - The Everlasting Survivor? - "It Wasn't Your Fault!" - A Path To Absolution
Victim, Survivor & How The Truth Can Set Us Free (c) Hartmann 2009. All Rights Reserved.
Events Psychology

The Events Psychology Ultimate Package - Silvia Hartmann's Events Psychology explains the relationships between trauma events and all the many other events that make up a person's life, creates the Events Matrix, how to work with this and most of all, how to use this information to create a better future. Events Psychology is only available from DragonRising, and forms the backbone of a modern energist's work, including Energy EFT and EMO Energy in Motion.

Click here for more information and to order The Events Psychology Ultimate Package.

 

 

 

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Silvia Hartmann
Information about Silvia Hartmann
President of the Guild of Energists.
Training courses and events with Silvia Hartmann:
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Star Matrix Course - Take YOUR Life To The NEXT Level with Silvia Hartmann
20 April 2020 - Online
Silvia Hartmann has the following products in the store:
EMO: Emotions, Energy, Information & Love, 2nd Edition

EMO: Emotions, Energy, Information & Love, 2nd Edition

Posted Nov 3, 2016
Powerful information every person on this Earth needs to hear about. Fifteen years of EMO in theory and practice have taught us so much about energy, how it works with human emotion but also with...
information ▶

Energy Dancing I

Energy Dancing I

Posted Mar 23, 2010
Energy Dancing is a completely natural and intuitive way to increase energy flow throughout the body. This causes emotions to change for the better, as well as being a very fast method to...
information ▶

Energy Dancing II: The Sacred Horse

Energy Dancing II: The Sacred Horse

Posted Mar 21, 2010
Magic Dancing: Energy Dancing with The Sacred Horse. Experience profound relief, release, de-stress and energize your mind, your body, your energy body with this brilliant NEW self help program...
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Infinite Creativity: The Project Sanctuary Story

Infinite Creativity: The Project Sanctuary Story

Posted Jun 17, 2014
Infinite Creativity: The Project Sanctuary Story by Silvia Hartmann comes 16 years after the original Project Sanctuary manual was released. If you are interested in unlocking your minds full...
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Modern Energy Tapping by Silvia Hartmann

Modern Energy Tapping by Silvia Hartmann

Posted Jan 18, 2018
Following two decades of research with classic tapping, Energy in Motion, Energy EFT and Positive EFT comes Modern Energy Tapping - a system designed from the ground up to get you and your clients...
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The Modern Energist

The Modern Energist's Guide To The Afterlife: Soul Lessons For This Life -...

Posted Feb 1, 2018
In this Special Report, GoE President Silvia Hartmann takes us through an amazing journey to the afterlife - and beyond. If you have always wondered about the reality of the immortal soul, wanted...
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The Power of The Positives: Unlocking The Extraordinary Power Of Positive Energy In Modern Energy Work

The Power of The Positives: Unlocking The Extraordinary Power Of Positive...

Posted Dec 31, 2017
In this special report, Silvia Hartmann takes us deep into the Power of the Positives and guides us to the next step on our journey into the undiscovered country on the positive side of the Modern...
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Trillion Dollar Stress Solution

Trillion Dollar Stress Solution

Posted Oct 3, 2017
The Trillion Dollar Stress Solution: MODERN Stress Management - From Stress To Success. Very rarely, a book comes along that has the power to change the way we see the world. Silvia Hartmann's...
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Silvia Hartmann has kindly contributed the following titles to the 🏫 GoE Library:
4 Cool Energy Hacks For Procrastination, Anxiety & Self Doubt - Video with Silvia Hartmann

4 Cool Energy Hacks For Procrastination, Anxiety & Self Doubt - Video with...

Posted Oct 2, 2018
Raise energy FAST with these 4 quick and easy techniques to overcome procrastination, anxiety and self doubt presented by Silvia Hartmann: Heart Healing, EMO Energy In Motion, Modern Energy...
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Classic EFT Tapping by Silvia Hartmann - Easy EFT, Adventures in EFT, The Advanced Patterns of EFT and EFT & NLP

Classic EFT Tapping by Silvia Hartmann - Easy EFT, Adventures in EFT, The...

Posted Oct 22, 2019
Classic EFT Tapping by Silvia Hartmann is a compendium of some of the most important and influential classic EFT books available, including: Easy EFT by Silvia Hartmann -  Introductory guide...
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DragonRising Radio Show

DragonRising Radio Show

Posted Jan 8, 2018
DragonRising is the publishing arm of the Guild of Energists and they've released some of the most outstanding and innovative audio products available, including: HypnoSolutions, HypnoDreams,...
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Earth Rise Visualisation Training Audio 2006

Earth Rise Visualisation Training Audio 2006

Posted Jan 23, 2017
Earth Rise is a short energy hypnosis program created by Silvia Hartmann to improve the ability to visualise in internal representations. Use the exercise repeatedly and/or use in conjunction with...
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Elory

Elory's Joy Audio Recording 2005

Posted Jan 23, 2017
A rare audio recording of Silvia Hartmann telling the story "Elory's Joy" with a sound track by Ananaga Sivyer.
view in library ▶

EMO BeauTy T Complete

EMO BeauTy T Complete

Posted Jan 19, 2017
Follow with this fascinating transcript as Silvia Hartmann builds a brand new, shiny fresh and young body image from the ground up, step by step as this extraordinary training unfolds. Based on...
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Energy EFT Master Practitioner Live Recording with Silvia Hartmann

Energy EFT Master Practitioner Live Recording with Silvia Hartmann

Posted Nov 26, 2019
In March 2012, Silvia Hartmann (President & Founder of The GoE) conducted a three day Energy EFT Master Practitioner live training near London Gatwick and we took along our cameras to record...
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Energy EFT Presentation by Silvia Hartman

Energy EFT Presentation by Silvia Hartman

Posted Mar 8, 2017
43 minute video recording of Silvia Hartmann presenting on Energy EFT at the Living Energy 2012 conference.
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GoE2013 - P01 - Positive Energy with Silvia Hartmann

GoE2013 - P01 - Positive Energy with Silvia Hartmann

Posted Nov 10, 2013
Silvia Hartmann's keynote presentation on Positive Energy to the delegates of the GoE Energy Conference 2013
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GoE2013 - P09 - Project Sanctuary - Infinite Creativity with Silvia Hartmann

GoE2013 - P09 - Project Sanctuary - Infinite Creativity with Silvia Hartmann

Posted Nov 10, 2013
Silvia Hartmann presenting on Project Sanctuary - Infinite Creativity at the GoE Energy Conference 2013
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GoE2014 - P01 - Keynote: Soul Matters with Silvia Hartmann

GoE2014 - P01 - Keynote: Soul Matters with Silvia Hartmann

Posted Nov 1, 2014
The energy system is a fascinating place with levels and layers, and so much to discover. By now, almost everybody knows that to mess with the heart centre is a very bad idea and leads to all...
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GoE2014 - P12 - Marketing for Energists with Silvia Hartmann

GoE2014 - P12 - Marketing for Energists with Silvia Hartmann

Posted May 4, 2017
In 2014, Silvia Hartmann brought together a special think tank to tackle the evergreen problem of MARKETING from the Energist's perspective and from the ground up. Modern energy work is a hugely...
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GoE2016 - P01 - Keynote: We Love Energy with Silvia Hartmann

GoE2016 - P01 - Keynote: We Love Energy with Silvia Hartmann

Posted Nov 1, 2016
Silvia Hartmann's keynote presentation from the GoE Energy Conference 2016, where she unveiled the "Big E" and we officially became the Guild of Energists.
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GoE2016 - P13 - Energy Constellations – Created by Silvia Hartmann – Presented by Ilka Wandel

GoE2016 - P13 - Energy Constellations – Created by Silvia Hartmann –...

Posted Apr 6, 2018
One hour video presentation by Ilka Wandel on Silvia Hartmann's "Energy Constellations". Also included is Silvia Hartmann's Energy Constellations Adobe PDF file to download and study at home. To...
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GoE2016 - P20 - Supermind: A New Intelligence For Energists?

GoE2016 - P20 - Supermind: A New Intelligence For Energists?

Posted Oct 12, 2018
For the last 23 years, brave souls have been venturing into Project Sanctuary, the original universal sandbox designed to learn the mysterious, fascinating and enchanting ways of the energy mind....
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GoE2017 - P01 - The Love Challenge with Silvia Hartmann

GoE2017 - P01 - The Love Challenge with Silvia Hartmann

Posted Jan 20, 2018
GoE President Silvia Hartmann's keynote presentation for the GoE Energy Conference 2017. The positive side of the Modern Energy Chart is truly "The Undiscovered Country" - it is a new world, a...
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How A Child Sex Abuse Survivor Healed 1 MILLION Hearts - Video with Silvia Hartmann

How A Child Sex Abuse Survivor Healed 1 MILLION Hearts - Video with Silvia...

Posted Oct 9, 2018
The extrordinary story how a distraught child sex abuse survivor triggered a chain of events that has helped to heal a million broken hearts - so far! - Video with GoE president Silvia Hartmann
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MindMillion 2005 by Silvia Hartmann - Complete Text

MindMillion 2005 by Silvia Hartmann - Complete Text

Posted Feb 10, 2017
MindMillion by Silvia Hartmann - Complete book has been added to the Library. In this extraordinary book, you will find the tried and tested remedies, techniques, tools and most of all, the...
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MindMillion Articles 2005 - 2012

MindMillion Articles 2005 - 2012

Posted Jan 22, 2012
MindMillion articles on business success from the energy perspective (pre-Energy EFT/Positive EFT) 2005 - 2012. Includes over seventy articles.
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Modern Energy 101 - The Modern Energy Chart In A Nutshell - Video by Silvia Hartmann

Modern Energy 101 - The Modern Energy Chart In A Nutshell - Video by Silvia...

Posted Oct 23, 2018
Never heard of Modern Energy? Check out this 5 min intro that might just change your life! Here is how to do "emotional wellness" "emotional intelligence" and how to get from stress to success in...
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Contact details and membership information for Silvia Hartmann:
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