Lucian's Language - Talking About Emotions
Lord Lucian is a strictly metaphorical gentleman who prides himself on his ability to be logical and realistic at all times. As such, he rejects emotions as signs of instability and insanity, and actually believes that he does not experience emotions.
In fact, he does experience the full range of human emotions as much as any lovesick teenage girl crying and ranting in her bedroom; he simply has a different way of DESCRIBING THE EXPERIENCE OF EMOTION than would be employed by said teenage girl.
As an example, where the teenage girl would say, "Oh! I'm so upset! I'm heartbroken!" and burst into tears, Lucian would state the following.
"I experience a hot sensation rising in my chest, which causes my breathing to become shallow, my arms and neck feel tight, there is a pressure building in my head which precludes clear thought and I am at least 25% below my optimal operational parameters."
The fantastic thing is that when we treat the upset girl with EMO and ask her where she feels that "upset and heartbroken" sensation in her body, she might wipe away her tears and tell us, "It's a feeling in my chest, a hot pressure that rises up and it hurts in my head and in my arms and neck!"
This example shows that the actual process of "being upset" is actually structurally EXACTLY the same in Lucian as it is in the girl, and that is is the DESCRIPTION of the experience that creates the difference between her, and him - as well as this seemingly impossible DIVIDE they experience when they look at each other, or try and communicate with one another.
The truly fascinating aspect of this is that when the girl phrases her experience in the terms of "Lucian's language", not only does he understand what she is experiencing (for he himself has experienced these sensations of pressure, discomfort and the resulting effects on the clarity of his thoughts and reasoning on many occasions!) but he will NATURALLY offer suggestions to remedy the situation.
He might say, "Breathe deeply. Clarity will return," instead of looking at her in total disgust and leaving the room - and her, which creates the idea that he has no compassion, no interest in her states or doesn't wish her to be "happy" - balanced, lightly boyed, positive and alert, willing to act with alacrity and expecting a positive outcome, as he might phrase it in "Lucian's language".
The Problem With Metaphors
Lucian's language, which is a strictly factual description of sensations that are being experienced by one human being from the first person, associated perspective, does not contain metaphors.
Metaphors are a difficult communications device and they are often both misused and misunderstood; they are always unconsciously generated and "planes confusion" alone accounts for many attempts at grinding up real camels to stuff them through the eyes of needles - messy, problematic and essentially pointless!
Our teenage girl might say to Lucian, "You stabbed me straight in the heart when you said that," for example.
This metaphor, as all metaphors, is from a domain - it makes Lucian immediately into a knife wielding ASSASSIN who WANTS TO KILL.
This *has* to be rejected as being entirely inappropriate, an insult, an insanity, a total misrepresentation of the REALITY of the situation - and this will naturally provoke a response of rejection, of argument.
It can't NOT.
The man just made a comment; it may have even been designed to hurt, but not to kill and after all, they are in an intimate relationship where he does not consider himself to be "an assassin".
Without the metaphor of the "heart stabbing" involved, the situation once more becomes much more accurate, both in description, in experience AND IN THE RESULTS.
Lucian: "There are other girls, more beautiful than you."
Girl: "I feel an instant pain in my heart when you said that."
This is a cause and effect that makes sense, that re-establishes the CONNECTION between what was said, and the girl's response, and most importantly, it opens the door to any number of ways to intervene, to change the situation, to procede from here for BOTH PARTIES.
Procuring Emotional Support From Unlikely People
There is a really interesting side effect when using "Lucian's Language" to explain to another about an "emotional state".
This is that almost everyone human, and including people of whom one would NEVER suspect that they might be interested in alleviating another's emotional suffering, will start making suggestions about how to improve the situation, or will even actively engage in behaviours to this end.
Now don't take my word for this, you need to try this out.
Try it out on a small kid, or on an "emotional unsupportive" person of any kind. Instead of talking emotion talk of feeling terrible, depressed or "as though the sky is falling on my head", simply describe the PHYSICAL SYMPTOMS and wait for what happens next.
It is truly fascinating.
As a closing note, I'd like to remind us all that when I talk about "Lucian's Language" and emotions, we're not dealing with some 1960's hippiefied idea of "feelings", but of the ACTUAL REALITY of the experience of what is happening in a human's ENERGY SYSTEM.
That's the cool thing, and that's what adds the extra dimensions to using these forms of languaging which are tying the physical to the emotional to the energy system and then on top of that, PRODUCING language events (the words we speak) and cognitive events (the thoughts we think) that are essentially different and other than in every way.
When a small child goes off to fetch a blanket because mummy said her back was "cold and locked, making my head hurt", and places it around mummy's back and shoulders, something rather magical has happened.
This can't happen if mummy says that she's "depressed", or "sad", or "a bit under the weather" or "Oh it's nothing ..."
It is an opportunity for the small child to understand a cause and effect, and take UNIQUE ACTION that may significantly affect another. It's a lesson in power as well as in reality, and much more beside.
Lucian's Language does not deny emotions, or denigrate them; instead, it makes them real, and gives us leverage to change the way we feel, thus opening up the way to FEEL NEW and DIFFERENT feelings altogher.
Author, EMO: Emotions, Energy, Information & Love
Don't Talk About Emotions - Talk About Feelings!