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Stress Free Relationships - Yes, It's Possible!

Stress Free Relationships - Yes, It's Possible!

We are constantly asked, "How can I have a more stress free relationship?" - "What can I do to have less stress in my relationships?" - "My relationship is stressing me out - HELP!"

Now although to have a totally stress free relationship is probably from the realms of fairy tale land, you can SIGNIFICANTLY reduce relationship stress by getting your head around the Energy Body Stress chart. It makes all the difference!

Relationships Stress Illustration - woman and man shouting at each other 

Firstly, have a look at the Energy Body Stress Chart below.

This is about EMOTIONAL STRESS - people talk of work stress and family stress and relationships stress, but STRESS is always an emotional problem.

Emotions are created by our energy bodies to let us know how we're doing on that level, and when our energy bodies get upset, we experience not just so called negative emotions, we become essentially more and more crazy, difficult to deal with, stroppy, aggressive, stupid, annoying and a pain in the arse to be around:

The Energy Body Stress Chart

Created by Silvia Hartmann

Energy Stress Score Type of Energy Flow Symptoms of Stress (Symptoms of Emotional Stress or Energy Body Stress)
- 10 Final stress - Energy system collapsed completely Symptoms of Stress at -10: So much stress damage that the system shuts down and does not restore itself (catatonia).
- 9 Super high stress - Energy system collapse Temporary shut down of the stressed system by a fit, panic attack followed by fainting.
-8 Extremely high stress - Energy system on the brink of collapse Extremely severe disturbances, self mutilation, autism, blind rage, "going berserk," "madness"
-7 Very high stress - Dangerously low energy flow Extreme temper tantrums, self abuse, schizophrenic metaphors, uncontrollable memory flashes, "crazy ideas," inability to control the body
-6 High stress - Dangerously low energy flow High stress causes high disturbances, temper tantrums, high end addictions, illogical thinking, immediate gratification, unstable, highly egocentric, accident prone, bad decisions
-5 Full stress - Way too low energy flow Symptoms of Stress at -5:  Irritability, inability to concentrate, not in control of thoughts & memories, communication failure, inability to enter rapport, social, mental and physical malfunctioning, making serious mistakes and errors of judgement
-4 General stress Lapses in ability to control thoughts, emotions and behaviour, lack of long term planning ability, overexcited, stubborn, closed mind, impaired communication skills, making mistakes, clumsiness
-3 Medium stress Symptoms of Stress at -3: Talking, thinking and moving too fast, trying to do too much, putting in more effort than the situation requires, lack of empathy
-2 Low Stress Slight impairment in emotional control, not entirely "clear" on future goals and current situations, slight impairment in social skills
-1 Very low stress Occasional infrequent flashes of uninvited thoughts
0 ZERO No stress Calm, tranquil, peaceful, no action required, resting, relaxing, sleepy, drifting
+1 Very low energy flow Neutral, semi-aware, occasional flashes of positive thoughts & emotions
+2 Low energy flow Vague sense of potential, hope, feeling like "waking up from a sleep"
+3 Medium energy flow Feeling ok, smiling, beginning to move, enjoying the present
+4 Improving energy flow Breathing deeply, increased body awareness, more movement, feeling good, starting to think about the future, able and willing to communicate freely
+5 General energy flow Feeling wide awake, happy, ready for action, wanting to take action, wanting to interact and communicate
+6 Faster energy flow Feeling exciting physical sensations, more expansive thinking, feeling personally powerful, feeling excited, enjoying communication, high social awareness
+7 Very fast energy flow Re-thinking and re-organising concepts, expanded awareness, feeling powerful positive emotions, feeling alive, feeling love
+8 High energy flow Picking up personal power, feeling delighted, making new decisions, very fast and very logical thinking, high social abilities: networking, rapport and communication
+9 Very high energy flow Delighted, tingling all over, very excited, joyful, actively loving
+10 Optimal energy flow Enlightenment experience, unconditional love, universal connection to the web of life.


Now the first thing you need to do is to ask yourself the following questions.

The person you're having that stressy relationship with, on a really good day, when they are firing on all cylinders, what kind of person are they?

Become aware of that, of who they are on a good day. That is who they "really are" - it's how they're supposed to be all the time - if it wasn't for stress which disturbs their energy system.

Now, consider yourself on a good day. What kind of person are you? Likewise, that's who you really are when your energy system is working well.

So, that's a start.

What you need to do now is to look at the stress chart again, and become aware of where you and your loved ones are when your relationship gets very stressful.

What happens is that one person loses energy and goes down into being annoying and unreasonable.

This causes the other person in the relationship - you're connected by invisible energetic bonds! - likewise to immediately become stressed.

If not one or the other of you calls a halt and holds steady, you can enter into a stress loop that will end up with both of you behaving like complete lunatics.

I want you to know remember a few incidents when this has happened.

I want you to remember especially how it got started, how it got worse and how it escalated.

That's the stress feedback loop in relationships.

It is as simple as that, but it can be really dangerous to your health, and it can lead to physical altercations and injury, even death, if someone, somewhere doesn't put a stop to that stress escalation.

So next, I need you to understand that stressed people do and say things that mean nothing at all - only that they are really, really stressed.

Everybody starts spouting all sorts of nonsense when they are stressed, and the more stressed they are, the worse it becomes.

So here's a stress chart version of what stress does to your feelings towards a loved one.

- 10 - You are dead to me

- 9  - I wish I had never met you!

- 8 - I hate you and I will never ever forgive you!

- 7 - I hate you!

- 6 - You drive me crazy!

- 5 - You are so annoying!

- 4 - For God's sake, get a grip!

- 3 - (Eye roll)

- 2 - (Tuts and shakes head)

- 1 - (Sigh)

  0  - I can take you or leave you

 +1 - (Sigh)

+2 - You're okish.

+3 - You're ok.

+4 - You're nice.

 + 5 - You are very nice.

+ 6 - I really like you!

+ 7 - You're amazing!

+ 8 - I love you!

+ 9 - I love you so much!

+10 - I will love you forever.


This answers the question of, "Does this person really love me?"

At +10, they really do. They all do!

That's because people can't love at all until and unless they are in the high positives; until then, it's all a mess really.

Take this away:

When a true -10 has happened in a relationship, the relationship is dead and won't recover. That's when people leave people.

  • In any relationship, be this between lovers, partners, friends, or parents and children, brothers and sisters and such, the aim and purpose is to help each other have good energy, to be the best that you can be.

Or at least, it should be ...

For many of us, growing up with and living with very stressed people, being stressed ourselves and having stressful relationships with other people who are also highly stressed, that has never been our experience. We have virtually no role models for how to do this!

But it isn't hard at all.

Follow these steps.

1. Learn when and why you and your relationship partner/s are getting stressed. It's completely predictable and you can recognise the patterns once you start paying attention.

2. Learn what makes you and your relationship partner/s happy. What makes a person happy is what reduces stress. Some common things are loving touch, positive feedback, a cup of coffee, a smile, and directing their attention towards something they love, be this baseball, cars, jewellery or furry kittens.

3. Intervene early and before stress has gone so far, there is no chance of control left. Don't let stress spiral out of control. This is where No. 1 and 2 come in handy - if you know people's stress patterns and what de-stresses them (what makes them happy) you can take avoidance action early and avoid 99% of stress induced fights and madness.

4. Never give up and never surrender. This means that it doesn't matter if there was a stress outburst and madness ensuing, shit happens. Just start again the next day with the will to do better.

You have a lot more power than you think over other people's behaviours. Often, it is completely in your hands to change the stress levels in a person, simply by not fighting with them and finding some way to make them happy/happier, rather than fuelling the stress fire by getting stroppy and stressed yourself.

Learn to know the stress chart, and learn to assess people's stress levels fast and accurately.

Then respond appropriately.

Very stressed people have no attention span, no common sense, no intelligence, no empathy. Speak slowly, don't argue with them and find some way of making them happy/happier until they are at least stable enough to "come back to their senses."

That's them, just the same as it is you.

The first step though is to start really paying attention, and learning how and when stress starts, what makes it worse, and how this whole stress thing actually works.

It's fascinating, extremely educational and will give you the chance to make the course corrections you need to have a much more stress free relationship than you ever thought possible.

Silvia Hartmann

Author, The Trillion Dollar Stress Solution

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Silvia Hartmann
Information about Silvia Hartmann
President of the Guild of Energists.
Training courses and events with Silvia Hartmann:
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Star Matrix Course - Take YOUR Life To The NEXT Level with Silvia Hartmann
20 April 2020 - Online
Silvia Hartmann has the following products in the store:
EMO: Emotions, Energy, Information & Love, 2nd Edition

EMO: Emotions, Energy, Information & Love, 2nd Edition

Posted Nov 3, 2016
Powerful information every person on this Earth needs to hear about. Fifteen years of EMO in theory and practice have taught us so much about energy, how it works with human emotion but also with...
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Energy Dancing I

Energy Dancing I

Posted Mar 23, 2010
Energy Dancing is a completely natural and intuitive way to increase energy flow throughout the body. This causes emotions to change for the better, as well as being a very fast method to...
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Energy Dancing II: The Sacred Horse

Energy Dancing II: The Sacred Horse

Posted Mar 21, 2010
Magic Dancing: Energy Dancing with The Sacred Horse. Experience profound relief, release, de-stress and energize your mind, your body, your energy body with this brilliant NEW self help program...
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Infinite Creativity: The Project Sanctuary Story

Infinite Creativity: The Project Sanctuary Story

Posted Jun 17, 2014
Infinite Creativity: The Project Sanctuary Story by Silvia Hartmann comes 16 years after the original Project Sanctuary manual was released. If you are interested in unlocking your minds full...
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Modern Energy Tapping by Silvia Hartmann

Modern Energy Tapping by Silvia Hartmann

Posted Jan 18, 2018
Following two decades of research with classic tapping, Energy in Motion, Energy EFT and Positive EFT comes Modern Energy Tapping - a system designed from the ground up to get you and your clients...
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The Modern Energist

The Modern Energist's Guide To The Afterlife: Soul Lessons For This Life -...

Posted Feb 1, 2018
In this Special Report, GoE President Silvia Hartmann takes us through an amazing journey to the afterlife - and beyond. If you have always wondered about the reality of the immortal soul, wanted...
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The Power of The Positives: Unlocking The Extraordinary Power Of Positive Energy In Modern Energy Work

The Power of The Positives: Unlocking The Extraordinary Power Of Positive...

Posted Dec 31, 2017
In this special report, Silvia Hartmann takes us deep into the Power of the Positives and guides us to the next step on our journey into the undiscovered country on the positive side of the Modern...
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Trillion Dollar Stress Solution

Trillion Dollar Stress Solution

Posted Oct 3, 2017
The Trillion Dollar Stress Solution: MODERN Stress Management - From Stress To Success. Very rarely, a book comes along that has the power to change the way we see the world. Silvia Hartmann's...
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Silvia Hartmann has kindly contributed the following titles to the 🏫 GoE Library:
4 Cool Energy Hacks For Procrastination, Anxiety & Self Doubt - Video with Silvia Hartmann

4 Cool Energy Hacks For Procrastination, Anxiety & Self Doubt - Video with...

Posted Oct 2, 2018
Raise energy FAST with these 4 quick and easy techniques to overcome procrastination, anxiety and self doubt presented by Silvia Hartmann: Heart Healing, EMO Energy In Motion, Modern Energy...
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Classic EFT Tapping by Silvia Hartmann - Easy EFT, Adventures in EFT, The Advanced Patterns of EFT and EFT & NLP

Classic EFT Tapping by Silvia Hartmann - Easy EFT, Adventures in EFT, The...

Posted Oct 22, 2019
Classic EFT Tapping by Silvia Hartmann is a compendium of some of the most important and influential classic EFT books available, including: Easy EFT by Silvia Hartmann -  Introductory guide...
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DragonRising Radio Show

DragonRising Radio Show

Posted Jan 8, 2018
DragonRising is the publishing arm of the Guild of Energists and they've released some of the most outstanding and innovative audio products available, including: HypnoSolutions, HypnoDreams,...
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Earth Rise Visualisation Training Audio 2006

Earth Rise Visualisation Training Audio 2006

Posted Jan 23, 2017
Earth Rise is a short energy hypnosis program created by Silvia Hartmann to improve the ability to visualise in internal representations. Use the exercise repeatedly and/or use in conjunction with...
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Elory's Joy Audio Recording 2005

Posted Jan 23, 2017
A rare audio recording of Silvia Hartmann telling the story "Elory's Joy" with a sound track by Ananaga Sivyer.
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EMO BeauTy T Complete

EMO BeauTy T Complete

Posted Jan 19, 2017
Follow with this fascinating transcript as Silvia Hartmann builds a brand new, shiny fresh and young body image from the ground up, step by step as this extraordinary training unfolds. Based on...
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Energy EFT Master Practitioner Live Recording with Silvia Hartmann

Energy EFT Master Practitioner Live Recording with Silvia Hartmann

Posted Nov 26, 2019
In March 2012, Silvia Hartmann (President & Founder of The GoE) conducted a three day Energy EFT Master Practitioner live training near London Gatwick and we took along our cameras to record...
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Energy EFT Presentation by Silvia Hartman

Energy EFT Presentation by Silvia Hartman

Posted Mar 8, 2017
43 minute video recording of Silvia Hartmann presenting on Energy EFT at the Living Energy 2012 conference.
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GoE2013 - P01 - Positive Energy with Silvia Hartmann

GoE2013 - P01 - Positive Energy with Silvia Hartmann

Posted Nov 10, 2013
Silvia Hartmann's keynote presentation on Positive Energy to the delegates of the GoE Energy Conference 2013
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GoE2013 - P09 - Project Sanctuary - Infinite Creativity with Silvia Hartmann

GoE2013 - P09 - Project Sanctuary - Infinite Creativity with Silvia Hartmann

Posted Nov 10, 2013
Silvia Hartmann presenting on Project Sanctuary - Infinite Creativity at the GoE Energy Conference 2013
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GoE2014 - P01 - Keynote: Soul Matters with Silvia Hartmann

GoE2014 - P01 - Keynote: Soul Matters with Silvia Hartmann

Posted Nov 1, 2014
The energy system is a fascinating place with levels and layers, and so much to discover. By now, almost everybody knows that to mess with the heart centre is a very bad idea and leads to all...
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GoE2014 - P12 - Marketing for Energists with Silvia Hartmann

GoE2014 - P12 - Marketing for Energists with Silvia Hartmann

Posted May 4, 2017
In 2014, Silvia Hartmann brought together a special think tank to tackle the evergreen problem of MARKETING from the Energist's perspective and from the ground up. Modern energy work is a hugely...
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GoE2016 - P01 - Keynote: We Love Energy with Silvia Hartmann

GoE2016 - P01 - Keynote: We Love Energy with Silvia Hartmann

Posted Nov 1, 2016
Silvia Hartmann's keynote presentation from the GoE Energy Conference 2016, where she unveiled the "Big E" and we officially became the Guild of Energists.
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GoE2016 - P13 - Energy Constellations – Created by Silvia Hartmann – Presented by Ilka Wandel

GoE2016 - P13 - Energy Constellations – Created by Silvia Hartmann –...

Posted Apr 6, 2018
One hour video presentation by Ilka Wandel on Silvia Hartmann's "Energy Constellations". Also included is Silvia Hartmann's Energy Constellations Adobe PDF file to download and study at home. To...
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GoE2016 - P20 - Supermind: A New Intelligence For Energists?

GoE2016 - P20 - Supermind: A New Intelligence For Energists?

Posted Oct 12, 2018
For the last 23 years, brave souls have been venturing into Project Sanctuary, the original universal sandbox designed to learn the mysterious, fascinating and enchanting ways of the energy mind....
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GoE2017 - P01 - The Love Challenge with Silvia Hartmann

GoE2017 - P01 - The Love Challenge with Silvia Hartmann

Posted Jan 20, 2018
GoE President Silvia Hartmann's keynote presentation for the GoE Energy Conference 2017. The positive side of the Modern Energy Chart is truly "The Undiscovered Country" - it is a new world, a...
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How A Child Sex Abuse Survivor Healed 1 MILLION Hearts - Video with Silvia Hartmann

How A Child Sex Abuse Survivor Healed 1 MILLION Hearts - Video with Silvia...

Posted Oct 9, 2018
The extrordinary story how a distraught child sex abuse survivor triggered a chain of events that has helped to heal a million broken hearts - so far! - Video with GoE president Silvia Hartmann
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MindMillion 2005 by Silvia Hartmann - Complete Text

MindMillion 2005 by Silvia Hartmann - Complete Text

Posted Feb 10, 2017
MindMillion by Silvia Hartmann - Complete book has been added to the Library. In this extraordinary book, you will find the tried and tested remedies, techniques, tools and most of all, the...
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MindMillion Articles 2005 - 2012

MindMillion Articles 2005 - 2012

Posted Jan 22, 2012
MindMillion articles on business success from the energy perspective (pre-Energy EFT/Positive EFT) 2005 - 2012. Includes over seventy articles.
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Modern Energy 101 - The Modern Energy Chart In A Nutshell - Video by Silvia Hartmann

Modern Energy 101 - The Modern Energy Chart In A Nutshell - Video by Silvia...

Posted Oct 23, 2018
Never heard of Modern Energy? Check out this 5 min intro that might just change your life! Here is how to do "emotional wellness" "emotional intelligence" and how to get from stress to success in...
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Contact details and membership information for Silvia Hartmann:
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