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Stress Free Relationships - Yes, It's Possible!
We are constantly asked, "How can I have a more stress free relationship?" - "What can I do to have less stress in my relationships?" - "My relationship is stressing me out - HELP!"
Now although to have a totally stress free relationship is probably from the realms of fairy tale land, you can SIGNIFICANTLY reduce relationship stress by getting your head around the Energy Body Stress chart. It makes all the difference!
Added Aug 1, 2016
| Modern Stress Management
| 9,818 Reads
Firstly, have a look at the Energy Body Stress Chart below.
This is about EMOTIONAL STRESS - people talk of work stress and family stress and relationships stress, but STRESS is always an emotional problem.
Emotions are created by our energy bodies to let us know how we're doing on that level, and when our energy bodies get upset, we experience not just so called negative emotions, we become essentially more and more crazy, difficult to deal with, stroppy, aggressive, stupid, annoying and a pain in the arse to be around:
The Energy Body Stress Chart
Created by Silvia Hartmann
|Energy Stress Score
||Type of Energy Flow
||Symptoms of Stress (Symptoms of Emotional Stress or Energy Body Stress)
||Final stress - Energy system collapsed completely
||Symptoms of Stress at -10: So much stress damage that the system shuts down and does not restore itself (catatonia).
||Super high stress - Energy system collapse
||Temporary shut down of the stressed system by a fit, panic attack followed by fainting.
||Extremely high stress - Energy system on the brink of collapse
||Extremely severe disturbances, self mutilation, autism, blind rage, "going berserk," "madness"
||Very high stress - Dangerously low energy flow
||Extreme temper tantrums, self abuse, schizophrenic metaphors, uncontrollable memory flashes, "crazy ideas," inability to control the body
||High stress - Dangerously low energy flow
||High stress causes high disturbances, temper tantrums, high end addictions, illogical thinking, immediate gratification, unstable, highly egocentric, accident prone, bad decisions
||Full stress - Way too low energy flow
||Symptoms of Stress at -5: Irritability, inability to concentrate, not in control of thoughts & memories, communication failure, inability to enter rapport, social, mental and physical malfunctioning, making serious mistakes and errors of judgement
||Lapses in ability to control thoughts, emotions and behaviour, lack of long term planning ability, overexcited, stubborn, closed mind, impaired communication skills, making mistakes, clumsiness
||Symptoms of Stress at -3: Talking, thinking and moving too fast, trying to do too much, putting in more effort than the situation requires, lack of empathy
||Slight impairment in emotional control, not entirely "clear" on future goals and current situations, slight impairment in social skills
||Very low stress
||Occasional infrequent flashes of uninvited thoughts
||Calm, tranquil, peaceful, no action required, resting, relaxing, sleepy, drifting
||Very low energy flow
||Neutral, semi-aware, occasional flashes of positive thoughts & emotions
||Low energy flow
||Vague sense of potential, hope, feeling like "waking up from a sleep"
||Medium energy flow
||Feeling ok, smiling, beginning to move, enjoying the present
||Improving energy flow
||Breathing deeply, increased body awareness, more movement, feeling good, starting to think about the future, able and willing to communicate freely
||General energy flow
||Feeling wide awake, happy, ready for action, wanting to take action, wanting to interact and communicate
||Faster energy flow
||Feeling exciting physical sensations, more expansive thinking, feeling personally powerful, feeling excited, enjoying communication, high social awareness
||Very fast energy flow
||Re-thinking and re-organising concepts, expanded awareness, feeling powerful positive emotions, feeling alive, feeling love
||High energy flow
||Picking up personal power, feeling delighted, making new decisions, very fast and very logical thinking, high social abilities: networking, rapport and communication
||Very high energy flow
||Delighted, tingling all over, very excited, joyful, actively loving
||Optimal energy flow
||Enlightenment experience, unconditional love, universal connection to the web of life.
Now the first thing you need to do is to ask yourself the following questions.
The person you're having that stressy relationship with, on a really good day, when they are firing on all cylinders, what kind of person are they?
Become aware of that, of who they are on a good day. That is who they "really are" - it's how they're supposed to be all the time - if it wasn't for stress which disturbs their energy system.
Now, consider yourself on a good day. What kind of person are you? Likewise, that's who you really are when your energy system is working well.
So, that's a start.
What you need to do now is to look at the stress chart again, and become aware of where you and your loved ones are when your relationship gets very stressful.
What happens is that one person loses energy and goes down into being annoying and unreasonable.
This causes the other person in the relationship - you're connected by invisible energetic bonds! - likewise to immediately become stressed.
If not one or the other of you calls a halt and holds steady, you can enter into a stress loop that will end up with both of you behaving like complete lunatics.
I want you to know remember a few incidents when this has happened.
I want you to remember especially how it got started, how it got worse and how it escalated.
That's the stress feedback loop in relationships.
It is as simple as that, but it can be really dangerous to your health, and it can lead to physical altercations and injury, even death, if someone, somewhere doesn't put a stop to that stress escalation.
So next, I need you to understand that stressed people do and say things that mean nothing at all - only that they are really, really stressed.
Everybody starts spouting all sorts of nonsense when they are stressed, and the more stressed they are, the worse it becomes.
So here's a stress chart version of what stress does to your feelings towards a loved one.
- 10 - You are dead to me
- 9 - I wish I had never met you!
- 8 - I hate you and I will never ever forgive you!
- 7 - I hate you!
- 6 - You drive me crazy!
- 5 - You are so annoying!
- 4 - For God's sake, get a grip!
- 3 - (Eye roll)
- 2 - (Tuts and shakes head)
- 1 - (Sigh)
0 - I can take you or leave you
+1 - (Sigh)
+2 - You're okish.
+3 - You're ok.
+4 - You're nice.
+ 5 - You are very nice.
+ 6 - I really like you!
+ 7 - You're amazing!
+ 8 - I love you!
+ 9 - I love you so much!
+10 - I will love you forever.
This answers the question of, "Does this person really love me?"
At +10, they really do. They all do!
That's because people can't love at all until and unless they are in the high positives; until then, it's all a mess really.
Take this away:
When a true -10 has happened in a relationship, the relationship is dead and won't recover. That's when people leave people.
In any relationship, be this between lovers, partners, friends, or parents and children, brothers and sisters and such, the aim and purpose is to help each other have good energy, to be the best that you can be.
Or at least, it should be ...
For many of us, growing up with and living with very stressed people, being stressed ourselves and having stressful relationships with other people who are also highly stressed, that has never been our experience. We have virtually no role models for how to do this!
But it isn't hard at all.
Follow these steps.
1. Learn when and why you and your relationship partner/s are getting stressed. It's completely predictable and you can recognise the patterns once you start paying attention.
2. Learn what makes you and your relationship partner/s happy. What makes a person happy is what reduces stress. Some common things are loving touch, positive feedback, a cup of coffee, a smile, and directing their attention towards something they love, be this baseball, cars, jewellery or furry kittens.
3. Intervene early and before stress has gone so far, there is no chance of control left. Don't let stress spiral out of control. This is where No. 1 and 2 come in handy - if you know people's stress patterns and what de-stresses them (what makes them happy) you can take avoidance action early and avoid 99% of stress induced fights and madness.
4. Never give up and never surrender. This means that it doesn't matter if there was a stress outburst and madness ensuing, shit happens. Just start again the next day with the will to do better.
You have a lot more power than you think over other people's behaviours. Often, it is completely in your hands to change the stress levels in a person, simply by not fighting with them and finding some way to make them happy/happier, rather than fuelling the stress fire by getting stroppy and stressed yourself.
Learn to know the stress chart, and learn to assess people's stress levels fast and accurately.
Then respond appropriately.
Very stressed people have no attention span, no common sense, no intelligence, no empathy. Speak slowly, don't argue with them and find some way of making them happy/happier until they are at least stable enough to "come back to their senses."
That's them, just the same as it is you.
The first step though is to start really paying attention, and learning how and when stress starts, what makes it worse, and how this whole stress thing actually works.
It's fascinating, extremely educational and will give you the chance to make the course corrections you need to have a much more stress free relationship than you ever thought possible.
Author, The Trillion Dollar Stress Solution
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Information about Silvia Hartmann
President of the Guild of Energists.
Training courses and events with Silvia Hartmann:
GoE Online Conference 2022 with
Silvia Hartmann 12-13 November 2022 - Online
Star Matrix Professional - NEW COURSE FOR 2022! with
Silvia Hartmann 18 April 2022 - Online
Star Matrix Masters Course - Take YOUR Life To The NEXT Level (Group 7) with
Silvia Hartmann 2 February 2022 - Online
NEW: GoE Community Energist with
Silvia Hartmann 21 January 2022 - 21 January 2023 - Online
GoE Community Energist - NEW COURSE FOR 2022! with
Silvia Hartmann 21 January 2022 - Online
Silvia Hartmann has the following products in the store:
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Silvia Hartmann has kindly contributed the following titles to the 🏫 GoE Library
Posted Oct 2, 2018
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Posted Apr 24, 2015
NLP Neurolinguistic Programming with energy in mind themed articles by Silvia Hartmann. Includes over eighty articles on subjects including Learning NLP, NLP and Energy, NLP Essays, NLP and...
Posted Jan 8, 2018
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Posted Jan 23, 2017
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Posted Oct 22, 2019
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Easy EFT by Silvia Hartmann - Introductory guide...
Posted Jan 23, 2017
A rare audio recording of Silvia Hartmann telling the story "Elory's Joy" with a sound track by Ananaga Sivyer.
Posted Jan 19, 2017
Follow with this fascinating transcript as Silvia Hartmann builds a brand new, shiny fresh and young body image from the ground up, step by step as this extraordinary training unfolds. Based on...
Posted Feb 5, 2020
Members are invited to listen the complete audio recording of the 2004 BeautyT live training with Silvia Hartmann in the UK.
This is a unique opportunity to listen to the complete set of LIVE...
Posted Nov 26, 2019
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Posted Mar 8, 2017
43 minute video recording of Silvia Hartmann presenting on Energy EFT at the Living Energy 2012 conference.
Posted Feb 3, 2021
Silvia Hartmann's GoE Energy Protection is a free video course on energy/psychic protection for GoE Members to enjoy, be inspired by and stay protected.
Posted Feb 3, 2021
Silvia Hartmann's GoE Modern Energy Foundation is a free online video course for GoE Members.
It is suitable for you if you are interested in how Modern Energy approaches can work for you....
Posted Feb 23, 2021
Silvia Hartmann's "GoE Visibility: The Modern Energy Way" is a free video course for GoE Members for increasing confidence in being heard and seen on YouTube, social media, video calls and more.
Posted Nov 10, 2013
Silvia Hartmann's keynote presentation on Positive Energy to the delegates of the GoE Energy Conference 2013
Posted Nov 10, 2013
Silvia Hartmann presenting on Project Sanctuary - Infinite Creativity at the GoE Energy Conference 2013
Posted Nov 1, 2014
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Posted May 4, 2017
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Posted Nov 1, 2016
Silvia Hartmann's keynote presentation from the GoE Energy Conference 2016, where she unveiled the "Big E" and we officially became the Guild of Energists.
Posted Apr 6, 2018
One hour video presentation by Ilka Wandel on Silvia Hartmann's "Energy Constellations". Also included is Silvia Hartmann's Energy Constellations Adobe PDF file to download and study at home.
Posted Oct 12, 2018
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Posted Jan 20, 2018
GoE President Silvia Hartmann's keynote presentation for the GoE Energy Conference 2017.
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Posted Nov 25, 2021
In this opening plenary speech to the conference, GoE President Silvia Hartmann presents on the The Miracle Expansion - a new definition, new concepts, new worlds and new possibilities!
Posted Nov 25, 2021
Join Silvia Hartmann for a virtual Modern Energy Art Exhibition.
Posted Nov 25, 2021
For the finale, let's come together and TAP for our new miracles! The future is what we create, right here, right now... let us together create a new field of miracles.
Posted Oct 9, 2018
The extrordinary story how a distraught child sex abuse survivor triggered a chain of events that has helped to heal a million broken hearts - so far! - Video with GoE president Silvia Hartmann
Posted Feb 10, 2017
MindMillion by Silvia Hartmann - Complete book has been added to the Library.
In this extraordinary book, you will find the tried and tested remedies, techniques, tools and most of all, the...
Posted Jan 22, 2012
MindMillion articles on business success from the energy perspective (pre-Energy EFT/Positive EFT) 2005 - 2012. Includes over seventy articles.
Posted Oct 23, 2018
Never heard of Modern Energy? Check out this 5 min intro that might just change your life! Here is how to do "emotional wellness" "emotional intelligence" and how to get from stress to success in...
Posted Apr 16, 2018
27 minute video of author Silvia Hartmann presenting on Modern Energy Tapping at the GoE Positive Energy Day which took place at Sedgwick Park UK in 2014.
Posted Feb 25, 2017
Classic EFT & NLP is a special report by Silvia Hartmann for NLP Practitioners on how to use Classic EFT, which covers how to use Classic EFT to enhance NLP abilities in the self; how to use...
Posted Feb 26, 2017
Power Affirmations - 21st Century Magic Spells That Change Reality - 2008 Special Report by Silvia Hartmann, full text.
Posted Jan 27, 2017
Silvia Hartmann's groundbreaking Project Sanctuary. Third edition 2002, published 2003. Complete text.
Project Sanctuary is a unique set of processes using intention, energy and metaphor,...
Posted Mar 12, 2018
Project Sanctuary is easy, and fun. In this straightforward, friendly 14 minute free meditation, GoE President Silvia Hartmann guides you through the process of setting up a "first Sanctuary". Use...
Posted Jun 19, 2018
Special Report by Silvia Hartmann for all members to read free in the library, however prior knowledge of SuperMind, Infinite Creativity and Project Sanctuary is advised.
Need to read Infinite...
Posted Feb 18, 2021
We're delighted to make the complete inaugural Star Matrix Summit available to members to enjoy. In this video series, Silvia Hartmann interviews key members on their own personal breakthroughs...
Posted Feb 25, 2020
Watch the complete collection of live streams with GoE President Silvia Hartmann including energy exercises and latest news from the GoE.
Posted Jun 1, 2014
Summer 2014 edition of The Energist magazine.
Posted Oct 1, 2014
Autumn 2014 edition of The Energist magazine.
Posted Jan 21, 2015
Winter 2015 edition of The Energist magazine.
Posted Apr 9, 2015
Spring 2015 edition of The Energist magazine.
Posted Jul 27, 2015
Summer 2015 edition of The Energist magazine.
Posted Sep 1, 2015
Autumn 2015 edition of The Energist magazine.
Posted Mar 19, 2016
Spring 2016 edition of The Energist magazine.
Posted Feb 1, 2017
Spring 2017 edition of The Energist magazine.
Posted May 26, 2017
Summer 2017 edition of The Energist magazine.
Posted Feb 20, 2018
Winter 2018 edition of The Energist magazine.
Available to read online on smart phones, tablets and in browsers, plus also the option to download as an Adobe PDF file for printing out at home or...
Posted Oct 16, 2018
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Video clips from Silvia Hartmann's Modern Energy Foundation online course:
Unit 1: Why Your Happiness Matters - An Introduction to Modern Energy
These are made available to you to watch...
Posted Jan 13, 2017
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Posted Jan 13, 2017
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Contact details and membership information for Silvia Hartmann:
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